h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Ampton, the worker droid from CLI, currently on vacation, gazes up at the mountain of Mt. SandEverest. Not far from here is Mt. SandCastle where the Donut Shop exists where Affy accidentally created the Crater that Crater Labs now inhabits, the place of his creation (the Crater that is, he was actually constructed before there were many labs present). He would climb Mt. SandCastle to learn more about himself, but that mountain doesn't have a Guru. He knows that Mt. SandEverest has a Guru, so this, ergo, is the mountain that he must climb. Despite the fact that Affy never seemed to like the Guru whenever he would encounter him*

*Pondering the dangers that he has heard of whenever this mountain is discussed, Ampton carefully begins his ascent*

*Roughly a few miles up the mountain, Ampton notices a few unusual looking rabbits following him. Sensing peril, he reaches into his backpack, and throws a steak laced with chloroform at them. With the rabbits distracted, he continues*

*Ampton drops into a cave that he finds, recognizing it as one of CLI's mining operations. Complex machinery and non-sentient droids are digging, sorting, and shipping Crystal Light, a form of solar energy in crystalline form that is much more useful than solar panels have turned out to be. Affy has, in the past, claimed that Crystal Light tastes good when turned into a liquid, but Ampton has doubts. He makes his way through the mine, in order to cut some time off of his pilgrimmatic trek up the mountain, and exits, continuing his ascent where he left off*

*Ampton passes by a wooded area. He can hear the cries of giant, 50-foot tall monkeys not too far away. He steers clear of the noises*

*Ampton walks by a place that, had he stopped to check it, he would've found traces of a mission that Afgncaap5 and YKhad taken up here that involved some race of aliens from another Galaxy. But he doesn't notice it, and continues*

*Inexplicably, and without his knowledge, a pie sails by, just behind Ampton. Several minutes later, and some distance away, it impacts a boulder, sending cream in all directions.*

I was wondering when you'd show up.


*Ampton continues climbing*

*...and climbing, and climbing, and climbing...*

FACE-Just a word to all contestants: one or some of you all are very, very, very near to finding Afgncaap5 and claiming the prize of choosing his fate, the fate of Minos Krylma, the Philosopher's Stone and the Elixir of Life and....oh, let's make this interesting....a VegiMatic! Yes, the stakes have just increased! Good luck to you all!


*...and climbing, and climbing, and climbing...*

*...and climbing, and climbing, and climbing...*

*Corrupt watches with interest*

Two researchers are watching this conversation IRL. Why? It's not like anything interesting would just happen to occur around these parts, ya know.


*Ampton continues climbing, wondering why he didn't accompany the initial missions up the mountain so that he could learn just what types of things he might encounter*

*A single candy from a package of M&M's flys by behind Ampton. Being alone, it wonders if it is one M&M or if it is just an M. As it ponders this question, it hits a tree stump and shatters.*

BTW, Garius: you are either in the Vash The Stampede Memorial Corridor, a Transporter Room, Dr. Harvey's Dungeon, a Launch Pad, or the top of a Mesa. Depending on when your PAG kicked in, of course.

*Ampton pulls himself up to a ledge and sees a small hut. From its description, he knows this to be the hut of the "Guru", a strange character that Affy never seemed to remember with much fondness. A great deal of laughter can be heard from within the hut, indicating that the Guru is probably home*

*A chocolate covered raisin fails to appear*

Let's see,....I think Garius knows exactly what's going on here....I wonder how much of the backstory to this Mountain that Corrupt's managed to piece together.

The guru is perhaps the only relevant part left, I suspect. And his laughter probably means only one thing.



FYI - the guru was originally a character from a very old text game that Affy and I both played. The game was not a very good one, since it had things in it that today would be considered bugs (an inconsistent map, various guess-the-verb puzzles, etc.). Anyway, by the time you get to the guru in the game, you are expecting some sort of unfair puzzle, so you don't put as much effort into solving it as you might have in a fair game. Unfortunately, the guru is a reasonable puzzle, and a not bad one at that. You need to get him to do something for you, but he can't stop laughing at you.

Affy - should I tell Corrupt how to get him to stop laughing>

I honestly don't know. Corrupt is another IF fan, so she's had some experience with playing text games. I don't think that she'd mind you spoiling one little puzzle from Pawn (one of the worst IF games that I've ever tried to sit through after having seen the glory of Infocom), but she may actually want to download it and play it for herself.

So I honestly don't know.

Unless you're *dying* to tell me, I'll just keep lurking for now.

I'd be up for even bad IF, if it wasn't for my current busy-ness level... of course, that's on a scale of what I *should* be doing...

*remembers something to do and runs*