h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The force field protecting/contecting Transportation Chamber Three is lowered, thus permitting the adventurers within to venture further into the Andromeda Way Prison. However, at the same time, clicks are heard up and down the hall as cells open*

*NYC emerges, rather dazed, from one cell; unarmed, unkempt, with only the prison issue uniform to stop whatever caused this impromptu breakout or whatever's putting it down from harming his person*

FACE-*Does a spit-take*

Thor-What's the matter?

FACE-That criminal! That's....that's NYC Student!

Pan-Who?

FACE-A STUMPED agent....someone who would be interested in the quest at hand....

Q-What's he doing at that Prison?

FACE-Not sure at the moment. I'll look into it after the show. However, he was always known for large-scale acts of destruction, chaos and havoc, and that's pretty much what you'll find on the Vash The Stampede Memorial Corridor.


*Other cell doors rattle as the various villains around the corridor begin to realize what's happening. The amount of maniacal laughter is almost comical*

*Angelica Fremont stumbles out of her cell, trying to keep her balance. Her eyes narrow as she turns her head to the sound of a not good thought. Somebody wasn't thinking good things about her...and that person was NYC Student*

*NYC gets his bearings straight. The maniacal laughter is nice enough, but it's not like the hallways are filled with human shields for the inevitable reprisal. Not that there are marked exits, anyway...*

*...well, there is ONE other inmate. Ooh, A rather cute one too... who looks rather peeved and is glowering at NYC. Geez, de ja vu*

Hey, you wouldn't have a clue to get out? Or a weapon on you? Can I search?

*Angelica's eyes narrow as she looks at NYC. His thoughts were not good.*

You didn't think good thoughts about me! You better think good things about me or I'll make living life as a jack-in-the-box seem like the good life!

Whaaat? They WERE good thoughts, I--...

*the inmatess shoots daggers at NYC from her eyes*

--Right! Err, *supervillainesswinningnobelpeaceprizeafterworlddominationsupervillainesswinningnobelpeaceprizeafterworlddomination*

Good. I think we'll get along splendidly.

Well, I still don't have a clue how to get out, or where I might get some self-defense or anythi-- Aaugh! Get off my leg! What vile, dank pit did YOU emerge from?!

*creature points to neighboring cell*

Ahh, that would explain the weird goopy noises I've been hearing for ALL THESE MONTHS! You, angry villainess; you wouldn't have a taser or cattle prod or something?

*A door opens and a little robot, grinning like a maniac, takes a few steps out. This robot, roughly three feet tall, is simply radiating an aura of stupidity*

*NYC runs to the door, and peers through it*

I don't need any weapons! Watch this.

*Angelica stares at the creature attached to NYC's leg and it disappears*

I don't know how to get out...but common sense says if we stand here doing nothing we'll never get out!

Stupid Little Robot-*Looks up at NYC* It's no use, mister! I can't ever find anyone in their either! I looked and looked for YEARS! I thought I heard something, and worked digging a tunnel for a while, but all I found was a river leading outside instead of people so I came back out and filled in the tunnel to look for other people. And there weren't any.

*NYC looks back from the darkness past to doorway to see a distinct lack of creature clinging to him. He turns to address the feminine inmate about this change of events, but comes up against the robot, staring at him in a dimly happy way - or more accurately, happily dim*

Uhh, just why were you looking for people?

(edit) ...past THE doorway... (/edit)

and for that matter, how long did it take you to dig the tunnel?

Stupid Little Robot-It took me three miles through the bedrock, I think. That's about how long.

*winces* Ahh, well, can you do it again? Do you have any weapons? Will you give them to me?

Stupid Little Robot-I had a dematerialization ray that I used to dig the tunnel, but I left it at the river when I realized that the job was over and that I wouldn't find any people in the tunnel. Then I used a rematerialization ray to fill the tunnel in exactly like it was before. Then the rematerialization ray fell apart when I tried to use it as a shovel a few months ago. And I had weapons, but the people who run this place took 'em.

Oh.

*NYC sidles past the robot to Ms Villainess*

So, think you can make three miles of bedrock disappear like you did that creature?

*A PA System crackles to life. The Robot Warrior in the Primary Bridge is speaking, though none of these villains has ever met RW before, so they probably don't know this*

RW-Attention, villains of The Vash The Stampede Memorial Corridor! You are villains known for causing chaos and destruction through your unique brands of powers, mentalities and lucks! At the moment, The Andromeda Way Prison is still unescapable to all villains present with the exception of the members of B.E.T.T.E. who have conquered it! We are willing to offer you a safe route off of this Ahkmut Forsaken Asteroid as long as you perform a service for us. Destroy all entities within Transportation Chamber #3 as soon as they attempt to pass through your chamber! The only prisoners that you should take are the scientists known as Dr. Harvey and The Arithmancer, but don't feel too badly about causing them accidental harm!

*Another cell door opens, and out flies a tiny sphere that appears to be made of rubber*

KineSphere-Safe passage out of here? I'm in!

Stupid Little Robot-Party! We'll party! Inflateable squids for everyone!