h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

< I was changing his details because he has a new e-mail address, and he got modded and realised the reason he hadnt got an e-mail was he hadnt updated his thingy but he didnt know how! I just forgot to log out and log in as me right! try again! same hospital thing applies>

*slows down* well.... if you dont escape you'll be dead anyway, Bye!! *legs it*

*pulls a pistol and blasts the deck beneath Jack's feet*

*jumps and swears speeding up*

*puts a blast straight at Jack's knee*

*swears louder and collapses vaguely still attempting to crawl away*

You cant keep me here! I have rights you know!

Yes! As do the rest of the Crew!

As we appear to be the only ones active on this ship, It is our duty to evacuate them as well as ourselves, or to find a way to stop the whole thing from happening.

And as to whether I can keep you here indefinately, If you do run, I will hunt you down and kill you anyway. So I might as well put the blast through your head now.

*aims at jack's head*

Aaaaaaaaaaaaah nonononono I'm sure I can do something, er something useful to help yes to help errr evacute my fellow crew members whom are my dear friends?

Your lying to me

*flicks a switch on the back of the pistol where a hammer would be on a RL pistol*

Nononono! honestly I'm not why would I bother to lie you'll only kill me sooner!

*makes a derogatory nasal noise*

Idiot, that was the safety catch.

Now get over to that console *points* and give me a full report on the ship's systems.

*sits up* I knew that, I was just.... pleading incase you changed your mind *glares* and I could give you a report with out looking, it would go along the lines of "we're in deep excretion and we're not going anywhere for the next millenia"

That doesn't actually tell me anything new. Now, MOVE!!

*clambers to his feet and hobbles to the console*

well what the smeg to you _want_ to know?

I want to know engine status, mining status, control systems status, and how much time we have.

*wanders in*

I may not be active on this ship, but I am very positively inactive!

*wanders off*

*walks in in time to answer Thamian's questions*
On, off, very little and very little.

What vector is the asteroid approaching from?

*looks at console*
What asteroid? We're being chased by a GELF ship this week...