h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think it shows just how seriously natural light in the office is taken by companies when the first Google hit I got was about Feng Shui!

Here we've got plenty... floor-to-ceiling windows... but I've worked in several places where I wasn't so lucky. Seems odd really that there is no legislation for it as I know there are regs about ambient temperature and noise levels and lack of natural light is linked to eyesight problems.

I'm just trying to find it...

I clearly remember that I once just couldn't fit an office into a building and the prof told me that the law says offices have to have natural light.

The law varies from country to country Tavaron.

It's certainly against the law in the Scandinavian countries to provide workplaces without natural light. A bit like forcing people to work with smoke in the UK. As a result, a lot of office buildings have atriums or courtyards with glass roofs. I was once working a meeting room with no natural light and my Swedish colleagues went into shock. But in the UK you can certainly be kept in the dark while they feed you the b... s...

Interestingly, in Sweden (I am sure...) you have by law to take 3 weeks holiday in the summer months.

They take daylight seriously there.

Yes, I just found this:

'There are no statutory workplace lighting levels in the UK (though the HSE does offer suggested minima; see table below). Regulation 8 of the Workplace (Health, Safety and Welfare) (WHSW) Regulations simply requires that lighting at work is "suitable and sufficient" and that, where reasonably practicable, workplaces are lit by natural light.'


I had hoped that there is some kind of European law about that, but they are obviously too busy finding out which dimensions cucumbers must have.

Ben, the tree weeks continuous break doesn't have to be in the summer but most employees like it that way. And companies where the factory shuts down for summer break really like you to go home when there is nothing to do...

*makes plans for planning a break*

Now got someone sitting opposite who sometimes does the low hum but is now slurp sipping a cup of tea with the slurps ~every 4seconds while he holds the cup about 4incehs from his mouth between sips.

Text messages - have a really annoying alert and conduct long complex conversations by text.

And make sure the key tones are left on, as loud as possible... listening to the of someone texting with key tones activated is definitely annoying!

if the open plan work space is laid out back to back desks, go in early anf switch the monitors around

it screws with the IT guys head as well when it wont respond, or does what its not suposed to

Wear slippers that help you build up static and shuffle around in them and touch people now and then to shock them.

Actually, I think that insisting on wearing slippers in the office. And maybe a dressing gown (start it now so it's not a reaction to moving to the shared office) will probably irritate some people *just* enough

Personally I find the really strong fake 'flavourings' smell of pot noodles and cup a soups (and a lot of nasty crisps) to be rather stomach-turning. Exacerbate this by drinking hot chocolate if people around you are eating savoury soups etc, or drinking cup soups if people around you are sharing sweet treats...

I would suggest asking for the high type of partitions as in Dilbert between desk areas as they do cut out some noise and give some privacy. It also gives you wall space for puttnig up important data tables and sheets.

We have the low ones in our office which means noise travels and you can't put up your datasaheet and ready reckoners but does allow for rubber band battles.

""Wear slippers that help you build up static and shuffle around in them and touch people now and then to shock them.""

or build up a charge and touch monitors

High level ones allow for better plant creepage. Once you can see it, it's too late it's probably been in the office for months so they cant argue... (ish)

I'm trying to think of serious ways you can irritate your boss so that they realise what an awful idea it is before they have you sacked for being some kind of sociopath. Mind you, that might get you a promotion...

You don't get that any more with these poncy flat-screen monitors. The old tubes weighed a ton and took up most of your desk space, but they had the masochist's 'Degauss' button. Pressing it caused all the static charge to find its way to earth via your nervous system.

We have a few women who have brought plants in and you can sometimes see their bushes from over the top of the partitions.

you think they'd trim!

Make sure you share your foul mood/ PMT with everyone in the office

Isn't that simply being called female?

The second part, yes. Men are quite capable of spreading gloom and misery through an office.

Never!!!