h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"does allow for rubber band battles"

You're a forty two year old man.

Are you proud of yourself?

Needs some capital outlay, this one, plus a little care in execution.

Go to a surplus Electronics shop, and get hold of some largeish capacitors (750V Working) and a 'Baby Megger'

Attatch leads of 'Baby Megger' to capacitor, and crank handle.

Carefully**** detatch leads, shout "Catch" and toss charged up capacitor towards victim.....


Run and hide!!!!!



GT

Are there many women with kids in this office? If not, print off as many photos of babies and small children as you can and post them all round your cubicle - the minute anyone even looks in the direction of a photo, introduce them as your niece/nephew, start an hour long spiel about each child, their teething and toileting habits, how cute they looked on the potty and generally coo for a while about projectile vomit...

AAAARRRGGHH Deakie!!!!!


Noooooooooo........




GT

Twiglet
<"does allow for rubber band battles"

You're a forty two year old man.

Are you proud of yourself?>

Ho yes...just wait 'til I take this baby into work:

http://www.neatorama.com/2006/11/09/rubber-band-machine-gun/

Only in America!!!!!!!!

GT

Re: post 55.

Robyn, I'm well aware of the issues surrounding gluten intolerance. In a previous job in social welfare I had a lot of professional involvement with sufferers of the condition; some of their stories were startling.

Post 55 recaps everything regularly stated by the pair of coeliacs in the office who are currently locked in a more-martyred-than-thou battle for attention. One of them owns the toaster that prompted my post. She whines about discrimination when it's suggested that just maybe she could avoid leaving her gluten-free toaster right next to the toaster for general use that is presumably laden with evil substances. Even more strangely, she refuses to label her toaster in any way, on aesthetic grounds. I think she's just asking for gastrointestinal trouble, somehow.

I'm not picking on coeliacs in my post. I'm pointing out a few behavioural quirks that can be magnified to become pretty damn' antisocial in an open-plan office. Having a chronic condition or allergy, and making everyone else responsible for your continued well-being, is antisocial in my book.

That rubber band machine gun is just so cool. I really want one!

I also like their desk trebuchet: http://www.backyardartillery.com/10441

just get some noisy desk top gizmos, then point out they never upset anyone when i was in my own office

netont craddle, and the electronic muchine gun sound gizmo

Well, I am glad I didn't spend time yesterday searching for an apt Dilbert for this thread...Scott must have read this therad and drawn todays from it:

http://www.dilbert.com/2011-02-17/

Ivan,

Then I retract my statement. The post was very 'some people' and I know too many people who do just think that it's a fad or a whim to let it go if you weren't aware of the potential seriousness. As you clearly are aware, I will agree that in this case, some people really need to learn to help themselves. If it was me I'd make sure people knew it was seperate and different. Mainly because I'd then have a case if I got ill from eating at work!

I am DEFINITELY getting a netont craddle.

There was an annoying guy who used to fart loudly, and then cough in some vein attempt to cover it up.

If you want to mess up computers, see if they log on locally or onto a network. If you remove the network cables from the end (the ones with the ends that look like the ones on telephone cables) then they&#39;ll either log on, but not access the network, or just not log on at all. Nothing annoys people more than computers. I also knew a guy who does everything LOUDLY. He is a nightmare when he has a cold, and when he rubs our pencil, he blows big clouds of bits across the desk.

Bring in ridiculously huge quantities of really nasty sweets and put them in the shared-food area.

Nice idea Mrs. Z, but I work for a Japanese company with frequent visits from Japanese colleagues. The Euros amongst us have therefore developed a healthy scepticism towards anything that appears to be confectionery. Pretty much everyone here has their own memory of tucking into something that on sight appeared to be a sweet, tempting snack, and on contact with the taste buds turned out to be pickled shrimp scrotums fried in duck saliva.

Nobody touches ANYTHING they didn't buy themselves.

Oh dear - another thing the Koreans and the Japanese have in common even though they insist they are not the same.

How about cultivating a taste for some of the more esoteric Japanese food?

I should have been more specific. Nobody ELSE touches anything they didn't bring themselves. I, on the other hand, have eaten things you wouldn't step in. Japanese food holds no fears for me, and I relish tucking into things that make other people heave. Which of course is another possibility for my mission...

If you eat things the others don't, then it may become way too easy. And fun

< I relish tucking into things that make other people heave>

Marmite.

a week before you are due to move into the new open plan office, hide fresh fish behind the radiators and in the air vents