h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yeah, I don't think it matters what a woman looks like, there will always be someone with a desire for that. And you could quickly find them on the internet.

same goes for the blokes too

hi Winnoch,

I agree that when people talk about the 'type' they are attracted to that this leaves me wondering. Are they talking about movie stars, pop stars, people they find attractive in the media? Some image they saw somewhere that struck their fancy?

Meanwhile, I think I agree to you to a point about what you say about paedophiles - it is an attraction thing more than a 'power' thing. I mean, rape is all about power, not sex per se. Unfortunately paedophelia also includes rape at times. So it's kind of a mixed bag, wouldn't you say?

Oddly or otherwise, I have never ended up (in a long-term relationship) with what I have imagined my 'type' to be. I keep imagining myself with some huge dude 6'4" and muscular and all that, and I keep ending up with 5'8" and weighing less than me!



az

Azahar-

Hmm, it is kind of difficult to get inside a persons mind who's mode of behaviour is that different from 'normal' (whatever normal is) people's, however, It has just always been my opinion, and I would like to emphasise that it is just my opinion, that paedophilia is attraction based. The fact that the adult is bigger and stronger is a means to an end.

Some people find other people attractive who are a few years older than them (graverobbers), others a few years younger (cradlesnatchers- to use the common jokey venacular), so why is it so hard to believe that some people are attracted to other people who are *much* younger or much older?

As for the viscious cycle of ex-abused then becoming abusers- is it just not possibly genetic, as well as learned behaviour? The parent found kids attractive, so does the offspring. Just my (possibly ill informed) take on the matter.

Rape, beteen two adults on the other hand, and again, in my opinion, is mostly about a lack of control and inhibitions. Most men will *mentally* undress a woman they find attractive and perhaps visualise sex with them, however the rapist has to externalise these thoughts- he is turned on- he wants sex, and he wants it *now*.

He may well feel empowered that he has had the ability to force this act, but everyone's different-many rapists i'm sure may feel instant remorse after the act, which is gradually replaced by lust, as time passes.

Kind of back on topic, i think many people 'end up' loving partners they met, perhaps in a state, who are not normally their type. They just initially got on well together, never saw a reason to leave each other, and gradually over time, they become each others type.

Then, if they were to leave each other, they probably would go out and look for similar people, having added a new 'type' to their list!

I suspect this happens rather a lot.

hi Winnoch,

Paedophiles who abuse children are total scum. So are men who rape women. Attraction is one thing - actions are others. All actions are accountable for by the person performing them. Nuff said. (don't want to de-rail the thread).

<>

Perhaps. But it sounds a rather sad viewpoint. I'm much more romantic than that. I think people can learn from bad or unfortunate relationships. So the next time they meet someone they won't necessarily fall into 'the same old' thing again.

az

Fair enough!

I'm sorry if it read as if I was being an apologist for rapists and paeodophiles. I wasn't. I was simply stating my views on what I perceive as being the motovations behind their actions. Wisnae defending them! And I kind of took it as read without stating it, that they are not nice people!

Apologies again if it looked otherwise

Yes, I was going to add a footnote that this was a rather pessimistic take on relationships- but I still don't doubt it happens- just not, hopefully to most people

az: <>

I think we're just talking about an ideal when we talk about a "type." If we could construct the perfect mate, there are certain physical characteristics we would prefer over other quite desirable ones, along with certain personality traits. Once we start looking around in the real world, we discover that a lot of the items on our ideal shopping list are negotiable.

On the topic of being threatened... though I stand a respectable 6' tall now, I was a late bloomer, meaning that for many of my formative (hormonal) years, I was smaller than my potential dating pool. If I was going to have any girlfriends at all, they were going to be taller than me. I was also a stick, so they were also going to be heavier than me. There were a few girls who found me attractive anyway, and I found them attractive in turn, and the size difference was never a big deal Though I did have one girl who encouraged me to walk on the curb, I didn't get sensitive about it because there wasn't much point in getting sensitive about it.

So, this whole idea of being intimidated by bigger women is foreign to me. It's a concept I just don't get. Fast forward to age 19, and I'm at my full height, though still very thin. I'm standing near the back of the chow line at my school command in the Navy, and I notice a beautiful Amazon chick taking her tray to a table. She's probably 6'3" or 6'4", with a tremendous shape (volleyball player type) and a lovely face. The fact that her shape could look good in those awful navy working uniforms is unprecedented. I'm admiring her, but thinking that since I'm shorter, she's probably out of my league.

Right in front of me in line is a group of four from another school, mixed gender. They notice her too, and one of the girls makes a comment about her, joking that she probably struggles to find a date. The guys nod and laugh along with the other girl. A few more comments along that line are exchanged, with both guys and girls providing the commentary.

At first, I'm thinking the guys are absolutely nuts. I could understand women making that kind of comment, but the guys should be able to see what's in front of them. Next I'm wondering if they're right, that she does have trouble finding dates... and I decide to rectify the situation myself if that is indeed the case. Unfortunately, I never got to find out either way, because by the time I got out of line with my food, she was gone, and I never saw her again.

I think its kind of nice to have someone you can go a bit mushy and protective over, but I do know a fair few blokes (and indeed ladies) who have a thing for tall blonde Scandanavians who I'm sure would find the blonde and Scandanavian bit, as you say, negotiable.

Oh, have never fancied blondes myself - prefer the tall dark brooding (not especially handsome but charismatic) Benicio del Toro types . . .

az

Do I have a type?

Looking back over past relationships, all the ones that I count as important were with women who were (a) short (I'm talking 4'11" to 5'4"), (b) mostly dark-haired (never had a long relationship with a blonde), (c) curvy, (d) older than me - sometimes by a few months, once by 17 years. Now, if you asked me whether I had a type, I'd say no, so is it coincidence or am I subconsciously selecting these women without knowing it?

RF

The only theme in my relationship history is they were all s

Tall, short, fat, thin, dark, blonde - doesn't matter. I like 'em *smart*

Well it were really nice to be back in the UK at the weekend , go shopping, lift a pair of trousers off the peg and have them fit. No baggy waistline with tight hips, no tight pulling across the thighs.

Now all I need to do is turn the legs up.

I'm with Kelli - I like em smart. Physically I don't have a 'type' - the long and the short and the tall, whatever they come packaged in. This does mean that I often end up with blokes I don't fancy physically, but whose minds can make me melt...

What do I look for in a bloke? Verbal intelligence and wit, obviously; high standards for personal behaviour, integrity, honesty and self-awareness, and a truly, deeply, astonishingly filthy mind. Oh, and it helps to keep things in proportion if they adore me, of course.

Interestingly, they have all been technical/scientific and more recently they have had complex personal histories which they have absorbed and learned from. They are grownups, playful grownups, but grownups.

Ben

Curvy not too skinny and boney

<> (Blathers)

Yes I agree, and I was (mostly ) joking about the 'Benicio type'. Especially as I have never ended up with anyone looking like that.

I also agree with kelli and Ben that I like em smart. And I am very lucky that my heart's desire has one of the sexiest brains ever! And even though he tells the *worst* jokes his wit is actually quite sharp, which of course is more interesting.

So yeah, intelligence and humour are much more important to me than how someone looks. But I reckon most people would agree with that.


az

Maybe I'm too "muscular" (threatening -not strong - don't want to sound too snobby) mentally, but what I mainly look for in a guy is the fact that he can accept me as an equal and not be condescending... I've got a rather "curvy" shape and am blond, but that doesn't mean I can't do physics or handle a bandsaw! so, s for me, usually, too...
As for (Long time ago in this thread) physical activity being easier without a bra: ever tried horseback riding without? As the amplitude increases, it gets harder to see... Damn that resonance!

I agree, type is just the ideal you have in your head. Hopefully most people know that they will have to compromise, unless they want to keep searching their whole life. But it seems "You're not my type" is often used just as a merciful rejection.

I think that tall girls do have problems finding guys. I'd say most guys don't like the idea of having a girlfriend who is taller than them.