h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My main reason for saying 'no' to a largeish chap one night was because he refused to wear any protection because it hurt apparently, it was too tight. So I kicked him out of bed and onto the sofa quick smart and told him to play with himself in the bathroom if he was desperate... And then gave hime a lift home the next day purely so I could mention to him out loud in front of his mates that next time he really ought to come prepared if he expects to get laid....

...that is sadly true - the standard fitting is 52mm diameter ...constriction is a word that comes to mind, tho' there are if you look ('specially on the net) larger size ones...

His cries of 'Oh come on anyway, it doesnt matter' put me off... If he's aware he's 'over-endowed' then he ought to come prepared... I pity the poor girls he might have picked up who were too drunk to think it was a bad idea... Luckily I've always been sensible enough to be aware of what the hell is going on and to stop drinking at the I'm Pretty Stupid But I Aint A Mug point...

...that sort of chap shouldn't be allowed in the gene pool anyway - tho' not *all* men are Neanderthal types like that one - with apologies to any Neanderthals on hootoo

IOh, I should have guessed, he was in a check shirt and baseball cap in the bierkeller on a metal night... And on some class A drugs too... see, I was young and a little foolish once, I took the poor wa home in the first place!

...but neither foolish enough to sleep with him and enough to take him back to his mates with the comment you made

Blimey... Now I'm sure if* I suffered from that guys 'problem' I'd always ensure I carried some suitable sized Peni apparel See...- Us 'regular' guys, who might wear the ocasional tenis shoe or python boot, should thank ourselves lucky we can get our peni apparel from any condom machine in any pub or over the counter at any chemist Actually, Durex were on offer at tescos the last time I did a shop... which was handy

I was actually shocked that he honestly thought I was that thick and desperate... Which is why he needed bringing down a peg or two... I did explain to him that I dont mind being called a pr*ck tease when I'm intending to do something with it eventually but his level of disrespect made him beneath contempt... It was after that he asked very quietly if he could get a lift home... Well, it was his mate's house, apparently a load of them staing there, hence me thoroughly enjoying taking him back

Ah, my wild old days. Last time I pulled I didnt even kiss him till the end of our first proper date! And we met in a nightclub!!! neither of us drink much, it's hilariously un rock n roll really!

Hooray for reduced expensive condoms!

It was much funnier back in the 70ies before safe sex was invented...

Ah...so he *did* have a working brain cell or 2 ...

...another drawback on being 'above average', apparently, is over stimulation for the woman...up to painful orgasms in some cases ...

Quick joke time...

Why are women so bad at parking...?

Because they are told this (Indicates about 3 inches) is 6 inches ...

It's not funny! It's TRUE!

...just because it's true, doesn't mean it's not funny ....

Ah, that's very true

funny bugger, men. and their peni...

I'd just like to paraphrase a bit of your last post and misquote it:

''bugger, men. and their peni...

''

I have done... It was fun. I havent buggered their Peni though... Dont know how that would work...

Condom? Nah, you have to be willing to kill yourself for sex, live *at least* 50 miles away, 100 if possible. Oh and under 37. A picture is never needed.

Two years research on the internet on just about every 'looking for sex' site I could find.

If I wanted just sex I could have had it Saturday. Or I could have it in half an hour, that's travelling time to meet.

I find it odd the game women play. The "I'm a good girl I am." - Week of wanting to get to know you. - Two days of 'text flirt' and two cgassed of wine.

Hell, that one was going for it on sight.

The signals, her, a "flight risk." Move about lot's, does midnight flits, prone to taking furniture that don't belong to her. Smokes, tattoos, drink drives, bleached blonde; mentioned kids before the date, and on the date. Miss "I've had a bath."

She was only there to find somebody to move in with, maybe a mug to knock her up so be stuck with her for the rest of your life.

Kid with #1, with him 13 years, her kid was 13 apprently, so she f right from the start. Has a husband she is seperated from. Has a husband.

Yes I was taking the piss by meeting this woman. Can read 'em like a book.

If she had been honest, said she at least wants a 'buddie' yes I would have, she is bloody nice looking, but it's also about personality, she was missing one.

She met me knowing what? I'd told her about dates. I have been known to go on a date with a towel wash kit and a couple boxes of nodders. - But she was not out for a 'fk'.

Women, the new men.

I've not yet a man who wanted to get knocked up so I'd be stuck with him...

......isn't 'met' meant to be in there Robyn..?

now thats interesting.............................. twisted and bitter..................... hummm I'ed better put my trousers back on

Not getting any.




Rigtht of to the 'date' set at one hour...