h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm angry:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/gayrights/story/0,,1653962,00.html

I've ranted here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/gayrights/story/0,,1653962,00.html

I think I'm about 5". I'm told I've a nice bum though, but I'm sure the sag is setting in. Still, with a cheeky grin, quippy lip and oral ability such as mine you should all think yourselves lucky I'm on the planet.

'Objectively disordered'. Hmmm. Maybe The Twatigan has a point.

Sorry, I ranted here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/F80629?thread=1592003

D'you know, I've never had a forrin girlfriend? So can't comment on diffrunt nationalities. Maybe I should get out more...

The correct way to measure a penis is, ofcourse, to use a tailor's tape measure.

1. Ensure penis is at full arousal.
2. Stand with legs apart.
3. Hold tip of tape measure at base of back (around the coccyx).
4. Pass tape between legs.
5. Measure to end of penis.
6. Add 1" for detumescence during this process.

Voila! You have you true penis measurement!

RF

*goes to get a longer tape measure

ok,,,,
based on that very conservative measurement.. bearing in mind i aint seen the photos.... plus taking into account ''detumescence'' which sounds charming.....

how many hands are you dear? (loud whinnying in the distance for effect)

*passes 2 legs a piece string..* here, see how long that is

Seriously though.... I gues I'm about average.... Well, judging by the other peni I've seen of late (and felt) I'd say that I'd be below average lest they were just unusually large right... where did we leave that hole?

I might break this up a bit but here goes.Im just an average sized bloke n when the old man stirs im not going to start measuring things got much better things to do saying that if any of you guys ever come to asia carry your own condoms cause the ones over here are too small ,all my foreigner friends say that. Rf you should get out on holiday I suggest the philippines not too expensive to holiday there or so im told I believe filipino women make wonderfull wives . My experiences I dont like living alone I need a woman Ive been married 3 times n had 2 or3 live together relationships that didnt pan out .Now lumping them altogether Ive bedded american women english women hawaiian women japanese women an irish lady and an indian lady thats in the last 45 yrs since I lost that thing we lose. I think asian women are, sorry folks but I have to say it the best in my humble opinion .My present wife is just simply the best so keep your hands off cause shes not for sale Ps never payed for it

Just thought Id come back to tell aye bee that I had lunch about 4hrs ago cause im in nara japan

do you know what, mister moonie..
i, despite being blonde, irish and female, had worked that out for myself around tea time yesterday..

i forget that the wuh wuh wuh is global..

doh!

obviously you had the wrong irish woman babes!... are you gonna tell us why asian women are de best then? come on... 2 legs tells us everything.. sometimes when we dont even really wanna know

Hi and hello

I tend to live with a Irish babe, the sweetest thing in the whole universe my bestest mate, till roused then "hell hath no fury" so what i'm trying to say is no matter where they come from (wimm'in that is) watch out! they get under your skin and suddenly wham your hooked, until that dreadded day, the day all men fear.... This Christmas i got mum and dad comming over to stay, that will be nice.... won't it! or the other one.....

You have just made passionate luv (in the missionary pos) and its post coital fag time, both of you are laying on your backs and then.....

"I could'ent help noticing, that celing need a lick of paint" she's pointing up


ok lads run for the hills

Never fear, the ladies have the ultimate weapon of mans destruction. Three little words whispered in the ear....

"Is it in"

yeah, but does your ceiling need painting?? good for her. you will probably agree to paint it more easily at that time then any other, post whatsit, yeah?

she's irish. she knows exactly what she's doing!.. wooo hooooo jack's missus

For starters, there should be a mirror on the ceiling so that if she feels it needs painting you can tell her to fix her make-up. Next, if a man has at least the standard block and tackle (not less than 5") and afunctional toungue accompanied by a reasonably pornographic imagination then size ought not enter into it.

Enter in to what ?

well mate, if you aren't sure what your entering, either this thread is a little advanced for you or you desperately require the services of a good opthamologist

Gosh! I have never had that said to me! The one that was said to me was "CHrist Almighty just what the F*** have they done to MY Willy its bald" this was said by my missus, and i never knew it was her willy till then, apperently i only "borrow" it during the day as its HER'S

just had to dash out to the newsagents for an emergency purchase of batterys no! you dirty minded lot.... they are for the doorbell so I can hear when my grocerys arrive... though... come to think of it... was a pack of four batterys, and I can think of somethign that will take two batterys I think, harking back to the size thing, that so long as they'res something there,... as it were then so long as you've got a pervy mind it doesn't matter too much how big it is though large ones are nice but I could concede that beyond a certain size, there might be certain problems of anatomical 'fitting together' if you see what I mean? So, what is our topic today, still on the size thing, and differnt peni owners being better /worse depending on where they are from in the world?

I want to ask the men of the thread about arses.....
a discussion has started up in the office about them here..
varied opinions from varied ages and genders and persuasions


probably been there before but i'm curious to know what the very well informed men of this thread think is the perfek one..

I don't necessarily clima to be well informed, but the perfect arse for me is a little bigger than the chest size, soft enough to jiggle a bit when you spank it but firm enough to grip during a good rogering.

Felicity Kendal's. I think she won the best filled jeans comp a few years in a row.