h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

evening peeps...and lucky to spot the former phredde....whys names a changing...anyway i now know new name so hi brown eyed girl

things getting quiet on here in general.. is it the time of the year? w**ks been pretty quiet too...waiting for the xmas stampede no doubt...

so nice one 2 legs on your steamy relationship... sigh at least someone is getting some nooky around here....

my pet penis is snoring away plus hes been a bad boy so no hide the sausage for him for a while.. till i feel in a more forgiving mood...sometime next summer ...............

Euphemisms....hmm; i tend to call a spade a spade & a willy a willy! I do play games with them though; two fun ones are:

Microphone "Allo allo; anyone at home?What was that you said?"

Gear stick "Vroom vroom.........;breeeeeaaaaaaah....screeech, oops wrong gear, nwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaah.....tight bend coming up; change down...........wheeeeeeeeekkk....ooops, traffic light!"

There are some euphemisms in frogsqueak, but it's hellishly complicated to explain!!!!

zdt

Hiya Flakey & Terri

So what's the willy owner done to upset you that much?

Terri.......I left a message for you re Africa on the 'Bat in France Volounteering' thread......don't know whether you stil subscribe or not?

hi tsari and terri.. i was just off to bed.. but the willy owner stands guilty of being a right grumpy git...ALL WEEKEND. hes really in my bad books..oh hes sorry now..been very nice.. but i'm in evil mode.. this ladys not for turning....

i need to vegetate and steam a while longer.. hes the kind of guy [like them all] who will have a nasty row, but minutes later expect me to kiss and make up... ooohh no sonny my laddo.. and then he'll want sex, when i want to get the hell away from him...rant rave gnash.. sorry to go on girls

Oh dear .......been there, done that & got the T-shirt! Why do they think we want to jump into bed with them when they've just behaved like a right p***k

Eving all peni fans sorry about the peni owner problems

Dildo all

Flakey, sounds like your man needs to grow up . I'm lucky mine isn't like that (usually it's me being grumpy instead ). Even when I've been grumpy though he's the one wanting to make up and make things all better again, which is nice.

Got to admit the only trouble at the moment is that with getting up at 6am every morning for w*rk , sleep is a far higher priority than sex - heck, we go to bed early to sleep, not anything else .

And we're at my parents this weekend, so I can't see anything happening there either - it's a very small house with thin walls, and I'm not exactly a quiet girl in the bedroom . And my bed creaks something chronic.

So.... any of you peni people got any advice for us? Either on how to keep quiet or on not being so tired when you get back from work that you'd rather sleep? Please?

Well.... if the bed squeaks.... do it on the floor.... and to help reduce the noise you are producing you could always try using gags ... and of course, to complete the look

.... or go parking

yeh... clositting is the way forward why is my penis feeling sore?

Might be a bit cold to go al-fresco (even in a car) this time of year in the UK - I think it's going to be sub-zero at the weekend . Plus, all the spots I used to know of are either dogging spots now, or are patrolled by the police regularly at weekends, and I'm not keen on being watched .

Hmm, the floor.... tricky as the room is small so there isn't a huge amount of floor space, and what is there is right by the door, which is right on the landing next to the stairs (which lead directly to the living room) and the bathroom . And the floor will probably creak as it's an old house.

Nowhere to hitch the to on my bed, but I have to admit I'd be quite up for the gag . Would be about the only way to shut me up, too!

no hwere to hook the handuffs on to... damn those devan (however its spelt) beds.... wooden bed frames people wooden bed frames... or iron bed frames *cough* hm..... maybe just the gag and the bed then? or would we be talking major squeeking from the bed and floorboards underneath?

i have a mattress on the floor & seemingly deaf neighbours, so that isn't the problem. My willy owner sulks & won't do naughties at all when we have a row; after about 2 days he thaws out, but by then i am seething with frustration, so snarl at him just as he is going all nice & soppy, so he goes all hurt & it starts all over again!

I think we have given up on the idea of naughties & settled for being "just good enemies"!!!!

OK, penile topic for today: What is the mathematical formula (if any) for determining the difference in size between a limp willy & the Magnificent Glorious Full Blown(!!!) Erect version?

zdt

I don't believe there is a mathmaticaly forumular..... in general there are those that 'have it on show all the time', I.E., from the limp to erect state, there isn't that* much change in size (length/girth), just an increase in ridgitity... then there are the 'Grow to sshow', where in the placid limp state the penis can be very* small, but increases (varying amounts) on stimulation, to increase in size (length/girth) to the point when it is fully erect in the first case, there isn't much increase in size when going to the erect state, but in teh second case, there is a large increase in size between the two states, but the penis concerned starts off from a much smaller size, but may end up the same, or bigger in its size than that in teh first case Nes pas?

Ooh.... from the admittedly limited sample I've seen, it varies dramatically - pretty much as 2legs has just summed it up .

One ex of mine (well, a one night stand, really ) wasn't very well hung when limp, and it didn't increase all that much when excited either . If I hadn't been drunk I think I would have asked him where he kept the real one!

Must just vary between men and their bits, really. I think we need a scientific study into this

I thought that was what we'd been doing for the last 4815 posts!

I devote a fair bit of my life to this very subject and... all I have to say is that some men are very very well hung whilst others are not so well endowered.....

Its strange init! its all about toad'n'the hole

Oh it most cettainly is and if its not going in one hole... its going in another.... and if its not goign in another hole... then its in a differnt hole

So true!

TC, I was thinking what could be termed "witness testing", i.e. we all witness these things in a controlled environment, so to speak...

But discussing it on here is cool, too.