h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I started this thread elsewhere. Looking for good lines! Here's the other thread: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/classic/F44787?thread=200035 Friar

There are just tooooooo many!

Mmmmmm - pointy!

Mmmmmmm... Soylent Green

Hmm. I can't pick just one...

I think the three lines that make up Homer's hair are hilarious.

Just because I don't care, it doesn't mean I don't understand...

Mmmmmmm erotic cake!

Homer, searching by feel under a couch...
Ouch, pointy!
Ewww, slimey!
Uh-oh, moving!

Krustyburger employee (the generic ginger, pimpled, broken-voiced youth who crops up from time to time...):

'We've run out of special sauce. Take this mayonnaise and leave it in the sun.'

I know I mentioned these before, but they're still among my favorites:

Comic Book Guy: "If I wanted to listen to mindless droning, I'd befriend an air conditioner".

Reverend Lovejoy: "Go into the light, Homer"

Homer: "D'OH!!"

Homer: "I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES."

Homer: "If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!"

Just a few that make me laugh my @$$ off every time...

Comic Book Guy is my favourite, besides Lisa of course. Her constant dreams of owning a pony match my own.

Comic Book Guy rocks the house, and just happens to bear an uncanny resemblance to a friend of mine in both physique and manner.

Favourite line:
The Bi-Mon Sci-Fi-Con tag team wrestling match between 'The evil cylons and the two gay robots from Star Wars'

The trouble is, it kept making me chuckle all the way through Attack of the Clones...

marge is a cop, homer borrows her pepper spray, puts it on his eggs:
mmm. . .incapacitating. . .mmm. . .

ralph wiggum: "This is where I saw the lepracaun. . .he told me to BURN THINGS."

Teaecher at prep school: "Lisa, is the bill of rights a good thing or a bad thing"
Little girl Lisa: "um. . ..Good Thing!" {so damn cute}

Lisa: Remember, Dad. The handle of the Big Dipper points towards the North Star.
Homer: Heh heh, that's nice, Lisa. But we're not in astronomy class. We're in the woods.

Homer: "No, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it half-assed."
(How true )

"Of all the crazy ideas you've ever had, this one ranks somewhere in the middle" Marge to Homer, who wants to be a boxer.

"Bad things are only bad when you remember them"
Homer (who else)

Comic Book Guy is great, as is the English criminal with a tatoo. Is this a reference to something that I don't understand???

Otto

His name is Snake. The scene where his little boy has just jacked Lisa's bike:

"Look Daddy! I'm stealing, I'm stealing!"

Snake wipes a tear from his eye,

"Welcome to Itchy and Scratchy land, where nothing can possib-lie go wrong!"

Ralph:
"Me fail English! That's un-possible"

A moment of silence for Lionel Hutz:

'That's why you're the judge and I'm, er, the, er, law-talkin' guy'


Friar

ps. OK my wife (reading over my shoulder) says that my earlier post about lisa and the bill of Rights was wrong. She thinks that in that episode lisa was ina beauty pagent and one of the other contestants says that line. I thought it was the episode when they're trying to get Li'l Lisa into a really good school (one they can't afford) and the Headmaster is talking to her.

Anyone have the answer?

"Comic Book Guy is great, as is the English criminal with a tatoo. Is this a reference to something that I don't understand???"

*blink* Oh, you mean Snake? He's not English, at least his accent isn't. It's a classic Southern California "surfer dude" accent.


Homer: D'OH!
Marge: A deer!
Lisa: A female deer!



or just about anything Jasper (Grandpa Simpson's balding, long-bearded buddy) - such as, "you shot who in the what now?" I guess the context helps make it funnier.


- JD