h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Stupidly I posted on the wrong thread.

I said...

Homer's Guide to Life for Bart:

Cover for me.
Ooh, good idea, boss!
It was like that when I got here!

I have based my new career around these words.

And I add that I also like the line that I have misquoted on my Personal Space since I became an italic. (go and find out)

Homer: "Trying is the first step on the road to failure." or "If something's hard, it's just not worth doing."

Or even...
When Homer and Lisa break into the museum, Homer says something like 'doesn't all this excitement make your heart pound... and your left arm tingle.'

I could go on (how about Homer sizing up Bart's kidneys after reluctantly donating one to Granpa?).

(Lisa): Remember, tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

(Homer's brain): What does that mean? You'd better say something or they'll think you're stupid.

re post 20

Snake isn't English? That makes sense - he sounds to me like someone trying to sound English and doing a bad job, and the accents are usually quite good (apart from the Australia episode, where they're dreadful - but that doesn't stop it from being one of my favourites).

Robber: Open the till and put the money in the bag!
Apu: I know the procedure. I do work in a convenience store, you know.

Otto

Moe on being a boxer:
"Yeah, they called me Kid Gorgeous, then Kid Presentable, then Kid Gruesome...and finally Kid Moe."

Mr Burns (when he becomes the "new God")
"Ahoy-Hoy Lowly Humans!"

Rainier Wolfcastle (portraying Radioactive Man)
"AHHHH! The Goggles...they do nothing!!!"

Homer: Hey, who cut up my paper?
Lisa: Not me.
Bart: Not me, I'm really more of a mail tamperer.

Skinner: Oh, you think this stolen 'H' is a laugh riot don't you? Well, I'll tell you soemthing thats not so funny right now Superintendant Chalmers is at home crying like a little girl!
(kids explode with laughter)...well, I suppose it is a bit funny!

Apu: "Today I'm going to party like it's priced 19.99!"

Selma: Heres your driving licence.
Cletus (the slack jawed yokel) : Awlright! No more sittin' in the dirt at the drive in!

Comic Book Guy (in the guise of The Collector) Here are some names you may call me on our wedding night...Obi-Wan, Mr Myxtpltlk and of course Biiiig Papa Smurf!

...and many more to come I should think!

From the Austraila episode:

Austrailian Guy: What are these things?
Marge: In America we call them Bullfrogs.
A.G: Thats a funny name for 'em, I'd have called 'em Chuzzwozzers!

From the episode where Homer finds a spilt lorry-full of sugar and takes it home, luring all the bees in Springfield to his garden...

We cut to two beekeepers, one melodramatic, one not so:

Beekeeper 1: Well, sure is quiet in here today.
Beekeeper 2: Yes, a little *too* quiet, if you know what I mean.
Beekeeper 1: Hmm...I'm afraid I don't.
Beekeeper 2: You see, bees usually make a lot of noise. No noise suggests... no bees!
Beekeeper 1: Oh, I understand now. Look, there goes one now.
Beekeeper 2: To the Beemobile!
Beekeeper 1: You mean your Chevy?
Beekeeper 2: Yes.

Eventually they find the bees on Homer's pile of sugar:

Beekeeper 1: Well, very clever, Simpson, luring our bees to your sugar pile and selling them back to us at an inflated price.
Homer: (Blankly) Bees are in the what now?

Well, made me laugh...

Also the sugar episode (which I believe is Lisas Rival)

(Toff type English bloke pops up from behind the sugar mountain sipping a cup of tea)

Homer: HEY! Where did you get the sugar for that tea?
English Bloke: I nicked it, and I'd do it again too...goodbye.

...not so much a line as a genius sight gag from "The Cartridge Family" episode.
Homer has ordered a gun and we watch as he waits outside his house for the gun to arrive (the scene is played out to "The Waiting Is The Hardest Part")
First a truck goes past with a large target on the side of it.
Secondly, we see three ducks fly past reminiscent of the old nintendo game "Duck Hunt".
Thirdly, Patty and Selma ride past on a Tandem.
Fourthly, Flanders goes by on a little lawmower and then finally to add insult to injury he drives past again.

Professor Frink's desperate attempt to get his story on TV:

'Ohhh, sorry I'm late, there was trouble at the lab with the running and the exploding and the crying when the monkeys stole the glasses off my head!'

(Fade to black)

'Oh, no, please no... I have a funny story, if you listen. I even wrote theme music, listen! Ahh-ha, hey hey...

Professor Frink, Professor Frink
He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think
He likes to run
And then the thing with the.. person...

Oh boy, that monkey is going to pay...'

Post 29 - I haven't seen that entry, but I'm going to make damn sure that I do now!

Or even episode...

It was banned in the UK for a while and still rarely gets shown, but you can see it on the Too Hot For TV video. It also has a nice moment where Homer goes gun crazy using his pistol for everyday household use. Opening Beercans and turning lights off...etc!

Sounds like Homer! I'll watch out for that video. I've seen it in the past, next time I'll grab it!

Highly recommended!
Also contains the Treehouse of Horror where Kang turns out to be Maggies father-to settle the dispute they convene on the Jerry Springer Show!

Oh I've seen that one! But always worth another look.

"We've got Kang in a sound proof booth backstage where he can't hear us."

"I HEAR ALL!!!"

All the Treehouses of Horror are top notch, though they've never bettered James Earl Jones reading 'The Raven'.

The X-Files episode is a particular favourite of mine as well.

Yeah!
With Chewbacca in the Homer Is A Dope T-Shirt?!
Brilliant, it's one of those episodes which seems flawless.
Great gag after great gag.
Like the psycho music being played and then the bus pulls up with the orchestra...playing the psycho music!
...I also feel that Marge Vs The Monorail is another flawless episode. (that features Nimoy in it as well now I think about it)
"Ah, a solar eclipse, the cosmic ballet plays on."
"Does anyone want to switch seats?"
Love it!

Oh and Blues, my personal favourite Treehouse Segment is the one where Homer forgets to sort out the millenium bug destroying the earth, Marge and Lisa escape on a Rocket containing Earths best and brightest (including Ron Howard?! Shurely Schome Mishtake!) whilst Homer and Bart end up on the ship with all the rejects (Pauly Shore, Rosie O'Donnell, Spike Lee and Courtney Love).Great stuff.
I'm also partial to Homer Cubed as well!