A Conversation for Miscellaneous Chat

Tell Us A Joke

Post 17301

Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information)

Q: What is black; white; green and bumpy?
A: A pickle wearing a tuxedo.

Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A: Sanka!

Q: What did the baby corn say to it's mom?
A: Where is pop corn?

Q: What kind of nuts always seems to have a cold?
A: Cashews!

Q: Waiter, will my pizza be long?
A: No sir, it will be round!

Q: What is green and sings?
A: Elvis Parsley


Tell Us A Joke

Post 17302

paulh. Antisocial distancing works a well as the Social kind

My pizza may be round, not long, but I long for it.


Tell Us A Joke

Post 17303

Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information)

Q: What does an aardvark like on its pizza?
A: Ant-chovies

Q: What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A: a piZZZZZZa

Q: Why did Johnny go into the pizza business?
A: He wanted to make some dough.

Q: When can a pizza marry a hot dog?
A: After they have a very frank relationship!

Q: What do pizza lovers order?
A: Truly Madly Deep Dish Pizza.



Tell Us A Joke

Post 17304

paulh. Antisocial distancing works a well as the Social kind

The butcher's shop was always full of hotdogs and wursts. I never sausage a shop.


Tell Us A Joke

Post 17305

Paigetheoracle

That's the wurst joke I have heard in a long time


Tell Us A Joke

Post 17306

paulh. Antisocial distancing works a well as the Social kind

Why did the cowboy have dachshund?

Because someone told him to get a long little doggy.


Tell Us A Joke

Post 17307

Paigetheoracle

Why did the philosopher kill himself?
Because his life didn't understand him


Tell Us A Joke

Post 17308

Paigetheoracle

Descartes jokes:-

I drink therefore I am (alcoholic)
I stink therefore I am (dustman)
I ink therefore I am (cartoonist)
I think therefore I spam (hacker)
I think therefore I jam (jazz musician)
I think therefore I had (actor)
I think therefore I damn (critic)


Tell Us A Joke

Post 17309

logicus tracticus philosophicus

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.
For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking.
How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

And God saw it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said,
"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.
For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That's a pretty long time to perform.
How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God, again saw it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said,
"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family.
For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said,
"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years?
Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back,
the ten the monkey gave back,
and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.
For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
I'm doing it as a public service.
If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.


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