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logicus tracticus philosophicus Posted Feb 6, 2019
A bloke goes into a Welsh pub and asks for a gin and tonic.
All the pub falls silent, then the landlord says "Where are you from boyo, you sound English"?
"Er, I'm from Bristol actually" he replies nervously.
"Bristol you say, and what do you do in Bristol, look you"? says the Landlord
"I'm a Taxidermist" says the man
"Taxi.... what"? says the Landlord, "is that something to do with transport boyo?
The man says "No I stuff and mount animals"
The landlord shouts "It's OK lads, he's one of us"!..
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clzoomer- a bit woobly Posted Feb 13, 2019
I'm sure wherever my father is, he's looking down on us.
He's not dead, just very condescending.
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Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information) Posted Feb 13, 2019
Q: What is The Flash’s favourite TV cartoon series?
A: Speed Racer.
Q: What did Luke Skywalker say to the Flash?
A: May the speed force be with you.
Q: Why was Bart Allen’s mam always upset with him?
A: He kept forgetting to flash the toilet.
Q: What is the Flash’s favourite type of flower?
A: The Iris.
Q: What did Barry Allen always remember to bring on camping trips?
A: His Flash light (Torch).
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paulh. Following butterflies through the meadows Posted Feb 13, 2019
He used bad language on a tour o new York.
The Statue of Liberty said, "have they torch you nothing?"
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Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information) Posted Feb 13, 2019
From a church bulletin: "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring you husbands."
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Caiman raptor elk - Infinity lies outside the box Posted Mar 11, 2019
Just broke the speed record. Finished a 14 day diet in just under seven minutes.
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Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information) Posted Mar 11, 2019
Q: Which super hero wears the neatest suits?
A: Iron Man
Q: Which superhero likes to use public transportation?
A: Bus Lightyear.
Q: Which superhero spends too much time in the sun?
A: Cap-TAN America
Q: Why is Spiderman such good baseball player?
A: He knows how to catch flies.
Q: What is Aquaman’s favouritism football team?
A: The Miami Dolphins.
Q: What do you get when you cross Spiderman with an ear of corn?
A: Cobwebs.
Q: How many caped crusaders does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: None – they like it dark.
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Is mise Duncan Posted Mar 13, 2019
If the train carriage is packed for my commute tomorrow I'm just going to shout "DIVISION!" and see how many people leave.
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logicus tracticus philosophicus Posted Apr 1, 2019
Did I tell you we bought a dog from the blacksmiths? Only had him home 3 hours and he made a bolt for the door.
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Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information) Posted Apr 1, 2019
A passenger train is creeping along at a painfully slow pace. Finally, it creaks to a complete halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. 'What's going on?' she yells out the window. 'Cow on the track!' replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walking by, leans out the window and shouts: 'What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?'
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paulh. Following butterflies through the meadows Posted Apr 1, 2019
I will catchup with the cow tonight when I put it on my steak.
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paulh. Following butterflies through the meadows Posted 5 Weeks Ago
Trying to figure out a cow is udderly impossible.
Key: Complain about this post
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- 17141: logicus tracticus philosophicus (Feb 6, 2019)
- 17142: clzoomer- a bit woobly (Feb 13, 2019)
- 17143: Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information) (Feb 13, 2019)
- 17144: paulh. Following butterflies through the meadows (Feb 13, 2019)
- 17145: Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information) (Feb 13, 2019)
- 17146: Caiman raptor elk - Infinity lies outside the box (Mar 11, 2019)
- 17147: Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information) (Mar 11, 2019)
- 17148: Is mise Duncan (Mar 13, 2019)
- 17149: logicus tracticus philosophicus (Apr 1, 2019)
- 17150: Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information) (Apr 1, 2019)
- 17151: paulh. Following butterflies through the meadows (Apr 1, 2019)
- 17152: Blueranger (5 Weeks Ago)
- 17153: paulh. Following butterflies through the meadows (5 Weeks Ago)
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