h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Initials figure prominently in this song by Allen Sherman:

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=harvey+and+sheila+youtube&sp=-1&pq=harvey+and+sheila+youtube&sc=1-25&qs=n&sk=&cvid=53BE6671D41E4D969E01525EDDC8D475&ru=%2fsearch%3fq%3dharvey%2band%2bsheila%2byoutube%26form%3dQBLH%26sp%3d-1%26pq%3dharvey%2band%2bsheila%2byoutube%26sc%3d1-25%26qs%3dn%26sk%3d%26cvid%3d53BE6671D41E4D969E01525EDDC8D475&view=detail&mmscn=vwrc&mid=BF5F2C1DEC90244A4B78BF5F2C1DEC90244A4B78&FORM=WRVORC

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

Q: What video game do they play in igloos?
A: Snow Fortnite.

Q: What kind of mathematics do Snowy Owls like?
A: Owlgebra.

Q: If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
A: Snowbows.

My browser says it is not syncing. I wonder what keeps it afloat.

What happens when the Guinness runs out?



[Collapse of stout party]

I think it's appropriate that Howard keel was in the cast of "Show Boat." (1950s)

Also that i the 1930s version, Paul kept his Robes on.

Appropriate also that the character Patches (in the 2004 film DodgeBall) was played by Rip Torn.

I'm waiting o see helen Hunt in a film about a safari.

"Think your account is secure?" by Ike N. Hackett

Matt Hancock was doing an annual visit to a hospital. As always, he was looking for something to beat the NHS with to show how badly run and loss making things were there.
Hancock checked all the books and then did his tour. While on the tour he turned to the ward manager and said, "I notice you buy and use a lot of bandages. What do you do with the plastic middle out of the roll?" "Good question", noted the ward manager, "we save them up and send them back to Johnson and Johnson and every once in a while, they send us a free bandage roll. We like recycle whenever possible." "Oh" he said somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went in his tour to the next ward. "What about all these coloured casts you dispense. They seem to be rather a waste of money?"
"Ah, yes", replied the ward manager realizing that Hancock was trying to trap her, "we ask that any patient wishing a coloured cast donates £1 which is far in excess of the 10p the colouring actually costs". Hancock was determined to fluster the ward manager. So on they went to the next ward. "Well, what do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?" "Here too we do not like wasting", said the manager.
"What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the government in London and about once a year, at this exact time, they send us a complete prick

A man is driving when he notices a hitchhiker standing on the side of the road. He pulls over and lets her in, then continues driving. After a few minutes of silence, the hitchhiker asks "Why did you let me in? How are you sure I'm not a serial killer?" to which the man replies:
"What are the odds that there are two serial killers in this car?"

Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in their new Hollywood blockbuster The Great Composers!
“I wanna be Beethoven,” said Stallone.
“I gotta be Mozart,” added Willis.
“What about you, Arnie?” they asked.

From a Burns and Allen TV episode: Hary Morton, the balding and gruff husband says



"That's neither here nor there."

His wife Blanche replies,

"If you're talking about your hair, it certainly isn't here."