h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*blinks*

*clone of Xanthippi sneaks in, takes from Galigan, places it on the floor and stomps on the , coone sneaks back out*
*Xanthippi breaks through defenses on (fake)minibar and sets the (fake)minibar on fire*

andit's the ones on the left ya gotta worry about...

*blinks*

oi!

Jade: Who in the deuce are you people...? I've never seen you before and I'm not entirely certain that I lke you being in myyyy boardroom...!

*draws reverse-blade katana and points it menacingly in the general direction of the new people*

Explain yourself of begone!

Thras: You had better do as she says. She's been a bit cranky of late, see. With with the severe lack of ramune.

...I have found yet another old BoE thread, and am saying so to tag it. This is //awesome//.

No wait, it was the same one. And three times, too. Hurray.

*is watching the events with big eyes and munching popcorn...then suddenly realises the impoliteness and offers the popcorn out to people*

Once everyone finishes, I have suggestions for the board, if they will listen to this mere humble soul *curtsies*

Jade: *looks up from the ramune flavoured she's mixing over at the bar* ...Suggestions, you say...?

Thras: You had better make them quick while she's distracted, or she might take outthe flamethrower on you.

Jade: *chewing an olive, nods vehemently*

Well...it kinda depends on the nature of the mayhem you're willing to cause....

I got a number of ideas all willing to come out, but no-one has been willing to hear me out...They say Im insane....But Im not. Im not insane *starts rocking back and forth*

The first suggestion would be for everyone to put salt into their sugar cup...Just imagine the mayhem....People come home and they want sugar in their tea...but instead they get...SALT

*cue evil music and laugh*

I have other suggestions too....Some even more...diabolical.

Jade: *slowly chews olive and swallows* What I think you fail to understand, young-one, is that we have been wreaking havoc for several years. havoc which reaches far beyond meerly putting salt in one's sugar cup.

Thras: *from Jade's shoulder* very cute though, very cute.

Jade: *sips at ramune and nods* Quite.

I apolgoise *bows head* I was unaware of this.

*shuffles through folder* How about...hmm......ah this would be interesting *pulls out a piece of paper* No wait...the baggage handlers at BA have already done that...darn it. *puts paper back and shuffles through folder again* Aha this should do. *Pulls out another piece of paper*

I suggest then that we create a problem on the WWW, so that no-one can access the internet for one day. IMAGINE if you will the chaos. The recriminations. The mayhem.

*evil music plays*

What do you think?

Jade: *continues sipping idly at her drink*

Thras: That would be a brilliant idea, if it hadn't akready been done.

Jade: *nods* The dragon doesn't lie.

dammit. I knew I should've come to the board immediately, but unfortunately it was a long trek to find the board.

I have other suggestions. But I shall have to go and organise them and remove all the suggestions that have already been done....

*offers you popcorn*

Jade: That's very noble of you, only the board's been around since something like 2002, so it's going to take you a while.

Thras: By all means have fun though.

Jade: *eyes widen in shock* what have you children done to the oak panneling...? Skullock's going to be furious...

You are not eating the popcorn....How did you come to realise it was poisoned?????????

I shall have fun here I think. It is truly a place to plot mayhem, and I shall be fascinated to see the suggestions....

Jade: My poor young-one... *rolls eyes* When one has been about the boardroom as long as I have, one knows that everything is poisoned.

Thras: *nods emphatically*

*Wanders in out of the garden*

Heyy, popcorn!

*Scarfs a handful of popcorn, drops dead*

Jade: *rolls eyes, takes a small inhaler out of a holster in her left garter She raises the inhaler to Legion's dead lips, which she parts, and then squeezes the button on the inhaler* That ought to do it.

Thras: *telepathy* Antidote?

Jade: *telepathy* Placebo.

Thras: Ah.

*The doors burst open, and a terrified butler runs into the boardroom, and promptly explodes, showering everyone with innards.*

*Enter Hally*

I do so enjoy making entrances like that.

*The doors burst again, dispite the fact that Mystrunner's already in the room.*

...I love doing that...

*He grins at the assembled members.*

Yeesss... we are returning...

*Arches fingers menacingly, goes about finding eggshell chairs.*