h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Affy zips around, narrowly avoiding the bullets (thanks to his exex spell), and is contemplating various ways to stay alive. He makes a courageous/kamikaze dash towards the epicentre of all of the problems, and kicks NYC in the back of the knees before zipping away*

*NYC falls forward from the blow to his knees, just as Penguin fires his big gun. NYC inadvertently dodges the fire, but Affy is caught unaware and just barely misses the impact, with more special effects and explosions being the direct result. NYC takes the paper bag off, turns so he is lieing on his back, pulls out twin uzis, and aims at Affy*

[NYC] not so fast!

* the penguin hits the door due to the recoil from the gun, and by the time he's back on his feet, NYC is pointing his Uzis at Affy. The penguin fires his gun on a lower setting, retaining his footing this time, and melting the end of one of the Uzi barrels so it's blocked by a plug of solid metal *


Fine, I just thought you'd ignored it...

Ignore what? The paper bag?


*Affy ignores NYC's request to not move so fast, and shoots in his general direction with his OmeGauntlet set at "Snowzar-Two Hours", while still running*

*GL crawls like a maniac*

*NYC scrambles to his feet, firing wildly in Affy's direction. When the clip empties, NYC replaces it and uses the pause from firing to throw the unusable uzi at Penguin*

Er, the 100 mph trick? Well, let's say that MSTie has something else to riff. Or that YK underestimated the speed. Or that he reacted faster than the swiveling guns.

Also, I said that Deku Link made a note of the security console he was hiding behind. Ahem.


[Deku Link turns back into Darmani and checks the console. A similar series of events to the one in NYC's previous post occurs.]

[Darmani] Um ... because he's an inner-city socialist pagan musician?

*no one has noticed that UH is sitting at the back, reading a magazine. well, this place has enough violent nutters as it is*

* the penguin catches the unusable Uzi and throws it right back at NYC *

[It hits him in the head]

*NYC reels back from the blow, and sprays uzi fire in Penguin's direction before consoling himself with some Dr. Pepper for the pain*

[NYC] OW! That HURT!

*Meanwhile, Darmani is staring at the console screen, which is doing absolutely nothing*

[Darmani] Wait, that's right! This thing isn't voice activated!

*Darmani punches in what he said to the console earlier. The console beeps threateningly*

[Console] That is not correct. The correct answer was 'because he either would blow you up or get you to flatter him'. But, brownie points for trying. In any case, this console will self destruct in 5... 4... 3... 2...

[Darmani] D'OH!

BLAMMO.

[Fortunately for him, the skin of a Goron is much stronger than rock, and in fact Gorons eat rocks. The blast, however, is still a bit injurious, in that he is blackened, cartoon-style.]

*Not to prod, but just what the heck is a Goron?*

* the penguin dives out of the way of NYC's bullets, which handily removes him from the vicinity of the security console which explodes shortly afterwards. Shaking his head to clear the ringing in his ears, the penguin gets out his gun again and fires a high-power vapourisation blast into the floor by NYC's feet *

This post has been removed.

*Affy dodges, but one of the bullets manages to hit his shoulder*


AAARRRRRGGHHHHH!!!!!!


I think I prefered this place when Robo-Red was the chief of security.


*Affy casts a Cleesh spell (turns living creature into an amphibian) at NYC, hoping for a result, before ducking behind a convenient piece of machinery to work on healing his arm*

*Penguin's blast blasts NYC to the ceiling, and back down on the floor. NYC looks suitably pained*

[NYC] I sure hope I get a BIG bonus for dealing with this! you hear me, KL? You hear me?!

*NYC is sure that KL must really be laughing at this entire scene*

*NYC scampers across the floor to where he left his howitzer, and fires at Penguin, who dives and rolls out of the way. Large explosions and huge dents in walls abound...

...Just then, GL comes maniacally crawling about the floor being followed by a very intimidating looking killer robot, firing lasers and leaving notable burn marks in the corridors. This with Yo going ballistic, Affy and YK making hit and runs, and NYC laying waste to much of the exit area makes a very violent forum, to say the least*

Crap. didn't see that post when I started writing mine...


*NYC, in the midst of his barrage of howitzer fire, turns into a tiny bullfrog. Cartoonishly, the howitzer looms menacingly over NYCfrog for a bit*

[NYCfrog] ribbit?

*WHAM*

*absent mindedly, UH picks up NYC and puts him into his pocket, before turning the page in his magazine. he begins to wistle as stray rounds ping between him and his read. one goes through the page. he barely notices. a chunk of wall falls in, but he is left sitting in a window cavity, a la buster keaton*