h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Minos Krylma checks his monitor, not believing his eyes. Did they believe he was bluffing? All he had requested was a knighthood, a million donuts, and the complete and total destruction of CLI. Wasn't the fate of the Milky Way Galaxy enough to convince them of these simple demands? Apparently not for the President*

Well, that's that. I've given them more than the minimum of 26 posts to respond to my threats. Begin the countdown sequence! NOW!

*The QED begins loading up the necessary files and power supply, with a little LED screen showing how many days, hours, minutes, and seconds remain to the detonation. All over the ship, droids are released to double, triple, quadruple, and quintiple check all of the various systems around the station, while also patrolling the hallways, making sure that no non-registered entities are where they should not be. The Robo-Reds and E-100 droids are released to give extra security assistance where needed*

Now, all supervillains, REPORT! I will not *TOLERATE* incompetance from *ANY OF YOU* this time around! This will be *PERFECT*! This will be *WELL-EXECUTED*! This will be *PUNCTUAL*! If CLI shows up, destroy them! If CHOPPERS show up, destroy them! If the GalArmy shows up, destroy them! If anything is found that is not supposed to be found, destroy it!

Now, REPORT FOR DUTY BEFORE I RIP YOU ALL TO SHREDS! THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ASSIGNMENT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED!

SIR!

[YK's Clones] [in stereo, saluting as one] SIR!

[Y4K] Does he mean we'll be executed if we get it wrong?

[Y3K] Sh!

Oh, and after reading the Unveiling Ceremony Forum, I have ONE THING to add to the list of Continuity: DON'T CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE'S CHARACTERS!!! Oy, for Bob's sake! That gets on my NERVES!

Zeb: Geez, what a year I've been having so far. First I barely escape the collapse of the old H2G2 universe, then my real-life counterpart starts his new semester and gets this lousy, condescending English teacher, THEN he goes to Europe, and now I get back to this parallel H2G2 only to have the boss all over me, going insane. Where does it all end?!

Dimmy: I think "it all ends" when the countdown finishes, sir. The galaxy blows up.

Zeb: Shut up, Dimmy.

Reporting for duty Siiiiir
:: hands Krylma Leader a wet fish ::

*NYC strolls in*

Did I mention how much I absolutely LOATH direct orders?

*NYC takes out a Dr. Pepper to sooth his ego*

[A spring-snake pops out of the can and hits NYC's face ... er, was it a can?]

*NYC, much angrier at the loss of a good 12 oz of soothing carbination, manages to stuff all of Y4K into his Dr. Pepper can, at which point he drop-kicks the can across the forum*

Zeb: Here, have some of this...

*BBW enters from an unseen door and walks up to KL.*

I disabled GOD mode as you instructed. I doubt anyone will be able to even get in to notice, but if they do, they'll have to rely on their own abilities.

*Greets other villians.*
Sorry I haven't greeted you since the site went down, but I was stuck on h2g2 all that time and hadn't noticed the site was back up until KL found me working here. When the site went down, I just wandered around for a few days, looting. But then I got tired of that and decided to do something constructive. I found the OmegaMatic and saw that it was not quite complete, so I set about finishing it. Since the site came back, I've been busy trying to disable GOD mode. It was hard-wired into many different areas, so it was quite a job, but I think I have it disabled now.

Zeb: You disabled GOD-what, now...?

wouldn't it be to our benefit to have it enabled...?

and why in the hell do all my posts go 59 minutes ago when I just post them ????????????????????????????????????????

[Y2K aims his can at Zeb when he opens it.]

*KL ignores Y2K's exploding can while beginning his explanation*

The GOD mode is a reality-bending function that can be initiated at any keyboard terminal in the facility. The person who enters a certain sequence of keys becomes pretty much indestructable while within the confines of the station. Werewolf, I trust you also removed the Jump, Working, No-Clipping, Warp To, Slow Motion, and Free Items codes as well, correct? We can't give any heroes who somehow manage to break in *any* chance of saving the Galaxy. Can you believe that those incompetant fools Afgncaap5 and Garius Lupus actually believe they can set up a plan to destroy this facility? Even that delusional Tonks believes his technology superior. But that isn't the case, ever since I made my final "deal" with Mortimer McMire.

*KL pushes a few buttons on a console*

Isn't that right, Mortimer?

*A viewscreen comes up, showing a young human boy pacing around an empty void, snarling. When the child hears the voice, he turns at the camera monitor, lunges at it, and breaks whatever device was monitoring him*

He hates it when I taunt him. Ever since I stole his technology, I've had the greatest power someone of our dimensional status can possess. Any more, and STUMPED would probably automatically be reformatted into one gigantic multi-dimensional entity.

Now, to buisiness.

*A large diagram of the OmegaMatic comes up*

We are currently here, in the QED Chambers.

*KL points to a spherical structure at the top of the diagram*

The only conceivable point of entry for any would-be heroes is here, through this Ion Ventilation System.

*KL points to a structure at the very bottom of the diagram*

Now, each of you will be sent to a different area of this station to guard it. While the QED is mainly self operated, the malfunction of a few machines may delay the detonation. By far, the four most important machines are the Neutrino Burst Injector, the Brownian Motion Inducer, the Regulation Control Centers, and the Energy Flow Systems. While they are not essential at all, their destruction would trigger a short delay in the detonation, and they would open up the main elevator shaft, which is the only conceivable way that a hero could get all the way up to the QED.

Now, I have seventeen areas: the Ion Ventilation Systems, the Security Center, the Paperwork Management Offices, the Auxilary Elevator Shaft, four Defense Tunnels, the Neutrino Burst Injector, the Brownian Motion Inducer, the Regulation Control Center, the Energy Flow Systems, the Main Elevator Shaft, the Outer Defense Systems, the Gravitational Dumping Hub, the Galley, and the QED. Don't count the QED for now, and the Galley and Offices probably don't need any extra supervision. So,...

Ion Ventilation=Y2K, Security=NYC, Neutrino Burst Injector=Sea, Brownian Motion Inducer=Happy, Regulation Control Center=Ancba, Energy FLow Systems=Zeb, Outer Defense Systems=Werewolf, Gravitational Dumping Hub=evillene. Anyone that I have missed (apologies, just keep in mind that we have a very short amount of time), your missions are to guard the elevator shafts, defense tunnels, Galley, and Offices. I'm not too concerned about those areas, though, because I've got some brand new robots guarding them. They're called the E-100 series droids, and I've already got six of them in those secure areas, and I'm not too overly concerned about the Galley and Offices.

Also, you will all be required to carry a key card with you at all times. This will allow you to move about through the security doors located throughout the station. Also, should the unthinkable happen and some heroes actually manage to destroy the QED (although, I doubt it. No lightsaber, freeze ray, heat ray, lazer, phaser, polka gun, pogo stick, or common weapon could destroy this thing), immediately proceed to an escape pod (although, you may be fired upon by the Outer Defense Programs), or get to the Gravitational Dumping Hub. If you've got your key cards with you, you will be able to teleport directly to the Hub with the serial numbers on your cards. Once in the Hub, make your way to Maintenance Hatch 93 (the one in the archway right in front of the exit to the Hub), and take the hidden pathway inside it to a teleportation console that will send you to my secret base. I call it the Korath III base, but since we're not anywhere near the planet Korath, that really doesn't make sense, I guess. Now, I'm about to activate the forums for your various jobs. Does anyone have any questions before I go about doing it?

AAKKKKK! Sorry, Yowuzupman, I don't know how I could've possibly made that mistake. I must have some memory problems...anyway, you're supposed to be on the gravitational dumping hub. I put evillene there because I had her listed as being with Sea, but the list that I'd written out was,...oh, never mind...sorry...

[ooc] is this based on a planet or as the entire thing as a space station?

~starts polishing a plasma rifle as he walks away to the Galley and then begins to patrol the halls in his body armor~

~speaks somthing to his in-armor computer~

~heads to the grav dump~

anything I can do ?