h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Zeb: Well I hope he at least has the decency to obey continuity during the actual FIGHTING.

Dimmy: What's he gonna do? His character's entire shtick is to commit suicide.

Zeb: Look, I just think that breaking continuity like that is unconscionable. Some people have no respect for laws... I also hate hypocrites..

:: giggles ::

Ooooh yes, I'd forgotten completely about Suicide Man!!!

Dan-dundun-DAAAAAA!!!!!Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's a man in stupid tights! It's SUICIDE MAN!!!!

Hmm, what's this? The galaxy under siege? A giant bomb threatening to blow up Earth? Looks like a job for... SUICIDE MAN!!!!!

*ducks behind sofa and speedily fumbles with buttons and tights for half an hour*

Don't worry! The universe is safe! I'm here! Stand back please ladies and gentlemen.

*squints at the machine*

This looks highly familiar. I believe that the fool who designed this machine used old plans from the Ancient Swiss Chees-O-Matic. And we all know what happened to those idiots. Ha! Ha! Ha!
*ponders for a minute*
Actually come to think of it they were highly successful and managed to hold several major cities to ransom and gained tens of millions of pounds from the US government, and retired to a private luxury hand-made planet. Oh well.

*picks up a spanner and starts hitting the machine randomly*

I wonder what happens if I do this?

*pushes a button*

:: spreads happiness again ::

~decides it might be safer if this part of his concieness is someplace else, that is the exact reason he goes nowhere..~

:: giggles ::

:: spreads happiness ::

Spectral Head: HEY!! CUT THAT OUT!! I SAID NO VIOLATING CONTINUITY DURING ANY ACTUAL FIGHTING... and while just messing about with the machine may not *technically* be fighting... THE SPIRIT OF THE LAW STILL APPLIES!! SUICIDE MAN *ONLY* KILLED *HIMSELF* LAST TIME!! YOU CAN'T BE ALLOWED TO BLOW US *ALL* UP, CAN YOU?! NOT WITHOUT A DECENT EXPLANATION OF HOW YOU GOT ONBOARD, DEFEATED THE SECURITY FORCES, ETC.!! DON'T MAKE ME START SUMMONING STUFF!!

PS: The preceeding message was addressed to Peregrin/Suicide Man.

:: giggles even more ::
:: pauses from preading happiness to check out the damage ::

And I say again: beta for Peregrin?

the button could be one of those Press-To-Electrocute-Yourself Buttons...

Spectral Head of Zeb: Krymla might know what it's supposed to do... or maybe BBWerewolf; He seems to know a lot about that "Keen" game thingy, too. Well, just as long as he doesn't blow us all up, or directly affect ME in any way, I'm fine with the unorthodox battle tactics Suicide Man is using.

To Peregrin and Suicide Man:

Your postings are more chaotic than the most unorganized villain.
Your breaking the rules with no respect for why they were made.
You disregard the past, making the future too worthless to hope for.
On a personal note, you did it with style (but that's still no excuse.)

With a heavy heart, I herby decree Plan Beta in affect wherever Peregrin *OR* Suicide Man is concerned. This mark will be remembered in all battles, present and future, until Peregrin *AND* Suicide Man change their ways.

So, let's go back to Peregrin tied in the chair. *WE* have a hostage.

*all villains in forum gasp*

[all] not plan beta!!!!

sorry to those who might be mad because of above post- i should have said "most villains". apologies.

*a dark figure steps out of the darkest corner and nods at Krylma, ignoring everyone else in the room*

At your service.

*sea gasps*

[sea] darth noire?!?! welcome back!!!

Thank you, Sea. It's good to be back.

Wot's plan Beta?

*struggles in the chair he's tied into, trying to reach his gun, lethal injection syringe, or at least the cyanide pills*

Darn! Can't kill myself. My powers are useless in these bonds.

*tries to lick an exposed high-voltage power line, but it's out of reach*

:: spreads a little happiness ::