h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* the penguin stops juggling five dried herring with a spectacular catch in his beak, and produces his large gun. After a pause while he chews and swallows the herring, he speaks. *

[Penguin] Yes, do let's hurry. My feet weren't made for running around on hard metal floors.

[YK, Link, Janine, Mackenzie, and Mog all board the elevator]

* the penguin follows them *

[YK] Say, when are some of us going to find and rescue Mortimer McMire? And who's going to do it?

[YK] ... I just volunteered to do it, didn't I?

(*still moving slow*)AAAAAAHHHHHHGGGGGG!!!!!(*the lighthawk wings begin to glow, Jones seems to be in a deep pain. Jones' gunblade turns jet black(from it's origanal pinkish color). Large streams of electricity shoot out of the lighting fixtures in the hall and into the Lighthawk Wings. Suddenly, the hall goes black. A flash of light, the halls lite again. Jones standing quietly about 20 feet away from the heros, gunblade still jet black, Lighthawk Wings gone.*)(*voice very low, head looking down*)I had to give up all my other weapons and all my energy for it , but...(look up, eyes blood-shot red and an evil smile on his face.*)... It will be #$%^ well worth it to see... you... all... suffer!(*lunges at the group in the elevator sharf, drawing back with intents on cutting the shaft in half along with the people in it*) I've got 30 minutes to inflict pure #$%^ on the lot a' ya'!

* the penguin leaps up and starts climbing up the elevator shaft as fast as he can go *

*UH backs into the shaft*

[YK gives Starman Jones a Vulcan Nerve Pinch, cutting down the half hour considerably. SJ drops like a sack of bricks.]

[YK] Huh. I wonder where he learned /that/ trick?

[Mackenzie] And where did you learn THAT trick??

[YK] Vulcan. Remember when I took that part-time job there?

[Mackenzie] Yes. Your exact words were, "The heat got me annoyed, the deadpan expressions got me silly, and the annoyed Vulcans got me unconscious."

[YK] Whatever.

Well. With an apparently unconcious SJ, and no threats from other STUMPED villains in a while, I feel safe doing this. *Affy looks at the only button availabe. It reads "http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F62404?thread=115549". Affy pushes it, and sighs* You'd think a simple "up" and "down" would suffice.... *The last of the heroes pile in just as the doors slide shut, and the elevator ascends to....*

*The Monitor turns on, showing a very angry KL* Happydude! Report to http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F62404?thread=115773 and stay at your post. THE HEROES ARE ALREADY THERE!!!!!

(*wakes up. Lifts head up and sees both elevator shafts are gone. head drops back down onto the floor*) #$%^!!!!(*hits floor with fist several times and gets up*) #$%^! #$%^! #$%^! #$%^! #$%^! #$%^! I guess I'll wait here(*reloads sawed-off shotgun and looks around*) Man o' man those CHOPPERS really distroyed my brand-new forum! It looks like Swiss #$%^*?~ cheese!!! I hope it can heal itself.(*walks over to holo-chair and puts it back on it's legs and sits down and begins to play Solitaire with hover cards. Quietly. All alone*)

*The monitor snaps on*

Sorry to see that the good guys gave you the slip, Starman. There really wasn't enough time for an orientation meeting that described what the heroes might try to do. In any event, here's a chance to redeem yourself: assist in guarding the Primary Elevator Shaft. Go to the console on the wall, and push the F10, W, and 3.132 buttons at the same time.

*Monitor snaps off*

(*talking to the blank monitor*)But what about my post? What if some more good guys come? Who will hold them off?

*coughs*

Servo-Oh, this has *got* to be the king of all awkward pauses!

Crow-Think if I just walked out and went from this end of the Satelite to the other that anything would change?

Mike-With our luck, no.

*giggles*