h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Yar] So long! Incidentally, KL drained her powers with a Ruby Siphon, or some such thing...

*Affy jumps behind Minos Krylma who, disctracted by UH's super-heroey pose and the destruction of his QED, is not acting like his usual overly-cautious self. Affy slaps some handcuffs onto him*

Affy-Minos Krylma, as a member in good standing with CHOPPERS, a citizen of H2G2 Island, Earth, and the Galaxy, and with a little political blessing from President Peregrine, I hereby place you under a citizens arrest.

Minos-Curses! Foiled again!

*A moment of silence*

Minos-Um,....actually, I think this is the first time that I've been personally foiled. Right? I mean, I've not yet been defeated in any crimes that I've been directly involved in, I think....although my agents have been. So what does that make me? Can I really say that I've been properly-

Affy-You're foiled, just leave it at that.

*Minos sighs, takes a step, "accidentally" trips, thus causing part of the mangled QED to snag his leather belt, which "accidentally" snaps off. He stares at it for a second, carefully wording this*

Minos-Um,....ah! At last! Free! That blasted McMire put that leather brainwave belt on me! So that, um,....yes, I built this under his influence! I mean, I'd have to be crazy to try and destroy the Galaxy myself, right?

*Brief pause*

Minos-Well, in any event, you can't prove a thing.

*He "accidentally" steps on an electronic component attached to his belt*

Minos-Oh, darn, look at that! That's the very component that controls the mind! Now, I can't use it to verify my statement. Guess you'll just have to let me go. Toodles!

*KL jumps ten feet straight into the air, snaps his handcuffs, and latches onto an air vent. He blasts through the grating, and crawls through, laughing maniacally. The laughter is quickly interupted a few moments later with a zap and a flash of light from the air-vent, and a little surprised scuffling. The maniacal laughter changes to very angry sounding quacking*

Affy-Huh. I guess an extra Yozozo spell got loose.

*Affy turns to go, but happens to see the door to the Master Control Room. He steps through, and looks around at a few things, including a giant holographic map of the surrounding area. He notices the orbit of the OmegaMatic about to swing into the asteroid belt from earlier. Some quick calculations later, Affy decides what the most likely result of the OmegaMatic smashing through all of those asteroids would most likely be*

We need to leave. Very, very fast....

[YK] An excellent suggestion! Er, have you got an Aimfiz spell handy? If not, I could teleport us out ...

[Penguin] No need! Where would you like to go? Just think of your destination, and you shall be whisked away to it. Make sure you think of a destination that is capable of supporting your kind of life, because I can't do anything about that when I'm translocating lots of people at once. Okay, all ready?

* he casts the spell. Everyone with a destination in mind disappears and appears at their destination. Everyone without a destination in mind is left behind *

[YK, Link, Mog, Janine, and Mackenzie are teleported to Dantooine.]

Emar: DAMMIT!

* the penguin looks around, satisfied, and translocates himself to the Ministry of Magecraft *

Emar: Oooooowwwwww... Lucky for me that, in materializing in the other dimension, I telefragged a very irate and immortal wizard, who immediately blasted me back here.









Emar: What? Asteroids?? Aw, crap, I'm gonna die.

*suddenly on the Gold Coast, with a tall colourful drink*
Thinks: aye!

*Affy teleported to CLI. KL transported to his bio-labs in Krylma Mountain*

Zeb: Hey Emar... We hafta go to STUMPED headquarters for the Ruby Siphon thingie, apparently... wanna come with?

Emar: That you Zeb? Yes, I think we probably should go, this station about to be shattered by asteroids and all...

Zeb: Okay, just hop on Nyarlathotep here, and we'll fly out.

Emar: Okay, I'll...







Emar: Wait, I'm riding WHO???????!!!!!!!!

Zeb: Uh, nothing... no one... heh heh... FLY, HAUNTER OF THE DARK, FLY!!

dun dun daa!

*sea, incidentally, was teleported to a river near sacramento, in the middle of several VERY attractive male river guides, since that's where her mind has been the last week or so*

*GL teleports out to the CLI mini-UFO that is still attached to the hull of the omegamatic. He quickly closes the airlock and fires up the engines. He detaches from the omegamatic and pushes the "quickjump" button. The ufo hyper-jumps a short distance away, out of the asteroid field. GL watches the big viewscreen, which is almost filled with the OmegaMatic. An smallish asteroid hits the Omegamatic, creating a dent and causing it to start spinning. Another hits, making the OmegaMatic cartwheel. A very large asteroid hits a glancing blow which rips open the lower third of the Omegamatic. Robots and equipment are sucked out of the Omegamatic through the rent and go spinning into space. Sparks can be seen and an explosion rocks the upper part of the machine. Another asteroid hit and sets off another explosion. Explosions now ripple through the entire structure as it destructs completely. The shock wave from the blast rocks the ufo as GL keys in the sequence for the hyperjump to h2g2. With a curious mix of elation and sadness, he hits the jump button and vanishes.*

---ROLL CREDITS---