Behold the Flying Misfit, returning to... do... STUFF...
I, Emar, have returned! For those of you who knew me before, I was lost in the chaos of space and time following the collapse of Old-H2G2. I managed to make a living and make my way back here by hijacking those interdeminsional curio-hut things (you know, the kind that appear mysteriously to sell you some ancient, mystical thing, then vanish upon your return?). And since my return, my first order of business is to fix up the ol' homepage... the place has kinda decayed in my absence. Nevertheless, I HAVE been able to restore this page's original introduction...
I would like to introduce myself by doing what 90% of all people seem to do upon creation of a home page: Give a long rambling talk about my background, hobbies, interests and-HEY! SIT BACK DOWN! NO-ONE LEAVES DURING MY LONG RAMBLING TALK! NO-ONE!! THE LAST GUY WHO TRIED THAT?!! WELL! THAT'S HIS LIVER IN THAT JAR OVER THERE! GET MY DRIFT?!
Now where was I? Oh yes, my autobiography, about which you obviously care so little. I was born the son of a poor Jamaican lemming herder. At the tender age of three months, I fled my home and made my way to the harsh wilderness of Urban Canadia (Yes, Canadia. As it should be. Not "Canada", contrary to popular belief. If you have always believed it to be "Canada", you have been misled. This is a myth that has been propagated by the residents of Canadia. They do this so that they may laugh at the rest of the world behind our backs when we say "Canada". It makes us all sound really goofy. We sound like we're going Canaduhh. Don't fall for this clever practical joke.) where I was raised by a family of kinkajous (look it up).
Of course that last passage made absolutely no sense, as you had lost your train of thought halfway through it. Try rereading it, but skipping that interjection about Canadia. It will make slightly more sense (in the way that -2 is slightly more than -3). At least you will be able to see that I'm full of crap.
In all seriousnes though, who is actually interested in reading someone's online life story, or a list of their hobbies, or whatnot? No offense to you if you like to write "serious things" about yourself for webpages. I can understand the temptetion to tell the world about the things you like. I, however, have never been interested in either reading or writing a page that sounds like a personals add ( without the physical descriptions). Not that everyone who wites about their interests sounds like that. But I suspect that I would. So I guess it's my problem. I will, however, tell you what you wil be able to look forward to (or dread, or not care about one way or the other) now that I'm logged in and writing:
More Crusty Cynicism™!
More of my Totally Irreverant Writing Style™!
Commentary that will get me flamed/mocked/Hunted Down And Beaten™!
A: Drunk People
B: Stoned People
C: Crazy People
D: Kinkajous™
PS: In one of my rare, actual UPDATES to this page, I would like to say that, as Emar, I plan to write some REAL ENTRIES for the guide, which I never got around to doing before. You have been warned.
PPS: If you are a resident of Canadia, please don't hurt me.
Oh, yes, and if you wish to speak with Zeb, you'll find him at his new page.
Latest Messages
| Messages left for this Researcher | Posted |
|---|---|
| happy birthday! | Oct 18, 2001 |
| So, what does that make me...? | Aug 4, 2001 |
| Disappeared??? | Apr 10, 2001 |
| ? | Dec 30, 2000 |
| Coalition | Dec 7, 2000 |
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Emar, the Flying Misfit... Yes, seriously, he's back...
Researcher U139621
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