h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Speaks into watch radio:*

Um, Affy. I think you were supposed to set up some mirrors or something so that you could see us and thereby get us across. I think I could make it by slinking along the floor in wolf form, now that the mines have all been detonated, but I can't just leave Witty here.

*wrings hands in concern.*

*Speaks into watch radio:*

Um, Affy. I think you were supposed to set up some mirrors or something so that you could see us and thereby get us across. I think I could make it by slinking along the floor in wolf form, now that the mines have all been detonated, but I can't just leave Witty here.

*wrings hands in concern.*

*NYC slowly sips his Dr. Pepper and scans the area around him. One look over his shoulder and in blink Affy and UH into visible existence right next to him in front of the exit door. NYC tosses the bottle aside (setting off a small explosion in the background) and hurredly rights his howitzer. Affy, UH, and NYC all seem to be a bit surprised at their proximity to each other*

[NYC] hey! *aims the howitzer at Affy, then UH, then back at Affy* how did YOU get here?!

[Don't forget Darmani, who has just turned into Link!]

[Link] Two at a time.

[Mackenzie materializes with WM.]

[Mackenzie] And very quickly.

[YK races over at 100 mph (using a Jedi trick), carrying Janine]

[YK] Much the same way you don't want to kill us.

UH, pointing, to NYC: look over there!

* the penguin, up until now unnoticed by NYC (since he wasn't mentioned) jumps up behind him and drops a paper bag over NYC's head *

[YK, and Mackenzie dodge for cover and hide because they do NOT want to be the object of NYC's almost DEFINITE subsequent wrath. Janine very politely asks YK to put her down since he isn't going to need to run at 100mph anymore, and he obliges.]

[Er. Mog hides, too. Link puts on the Deku Mask and hides, as well]

Thanks, Mackenzie... I owe you one.

*takes cover*

* the penguin casts another spell, and puffs the resulting itching powder underneath the bag, all over NYC's face *

[Penguin] Okay, time to run people!

No, we can't leave without GL.


Erm, GL? We're all over here now, and we've run into some trouble. Some old and sinister trouble. Some howitzer toting, "Born in the USA, and hatin' every moment of it" trouble. We'd appreciate some assistance.


*Affy gets ready to do a classic Sword Vs. Guns battle with NYC*

Just like old times....

[Deku-Link discovers that what he is hiding behind is one of the primary security consoles. He makes a mental note to the effect that this fact might be useful. YK gets up and arms his lightsaber.]

[YK] LLLET'S GET RRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRUMBLLLLLLLE!

* the penguin starts examining the door and wondering how to make it open. He taps it in several places and then begins casting a long and complex spell that's very prone to interruption *

*GL, thankful that Mackenzie was able to ferry Witty across, makes one last check for straglers, then changes into wolf form. He then lowers himself onto his belly and crawls forward down the hallway, being careful to stay below the 4 inch level. About half-way down the hall, he feels a sneeze coming on. He suppresses it. About 2/3 of the way the sneeze tries again. He suppresses it. At the 3/4 mark, the sneeze explodes without warning. GL manages to keep his body below the 4 inch level, but the very tip of his tail bobs up and is promptly shot off.*

Ooooooowwwwwwwooooooooo.

*YK's battle cry is unnoticed, as NYC is preoccupied in making a very large special-effects fireworks show with his howitzer. YK returns to the security console, presses a button, and the console flashes a message on the screen*

[This console is password protected. Any wrong password will result in a very large and fatal explosion. Any hesitation will result in a very large and fatal explosion. Any attempt to disembowel this console will result in a very large and fatal explosion]

[YK] Crap.

*the console flashes with a password prompt and a little button on the bottom stating "I've forgotten my password". YK presses it*

[The hint for the password is: "Just why is NYC so great?"]

[YK] Crap again.

*As GL crawls about the floor, a roving killer robot rounds a corner and chances upon him. GL has two choices: run like a maniac, or... run like a maniac. NYC's security sector might not kill anyone, but the heroes will definitely get their exercise in... *

* the penguin's spell gets interrupted, and a big ball of flame boils up the door, leaving a carbon streak up to the ceiling. Turning around, the penguin wonders why the itching powder doesn't seem to have had any effect on NYC at all, and what happened to the paper bag. He gets out his big gun and points it at NYC's middle, just in case he does something threatening *

Now, NYC, I could be pedantic about the matter of who controls my characters (me). For one thing, replace "crap" in NYC's posting with "D'OH!" and you've got me down pat. And for another, it was Link who was behind the console, not YK. So let's forget that post, shall we? Except the bit about NYC making fireworks?

And what about the paper bag?

You have so many characters, YK, that I can hardly keep track of them all: YK, Y2K, Y3K, Y4K, YC, Y2C, Y3C, Y4C, YQ, Mackenzie, Janine, Link, Alexander, Shiva, Ifrit, Ramuh, Bahamut Zero, Rodrigo, and I'm sure many others I'm currently unaware of. Although, you DID say that YK made a note about the console....

As for MaW, I never said NYC was firing at any hero in particular, nor in direction in particular, just that he was firing. Let's just say that NYC's view is a bit dark at the moment.

And at that fact, since when did bullets go slower than 100 mph? If that were the case, we'd have a LOT more deaths in baseball...