A Conversation for H2G2 Waterworks: The Lifeguard Hut
Soul lifeguards
Roasted Amoeba Posted Dec 12, 1999
Now look here... What exactly do... um... ah yes. You're right.
But I can still give mouth-to-mouth, don't forget!
Soul lifeguards
Roasted Amoeba Posted Dec 12, 1999
Errr... mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, that was...
Soul lifeguards
Bluebottle Posted Dec 13, 1999
If it's only ressusitation, some of the Venii and other women around here may be disappointed!
Soul lifeguards
TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund) Posted Dec 13, 1999
Surely that's 'mouth to outer membrane' ressucitation?
Soul lifeguards
Roasted Amoeba Posted Dec 13, 1999
Now hang on a moment... I thought I made it clear that when there are any females that need saving, I transform into a handsome (human)hunk...
Soul lifeguards
TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund) Posted Dec 13, 1999
Now that throws up interesting problems. Where do you get the extra mass required to change from an amoeba (which probably weighs in the order of 0.001 grams to a larger build than average human male weighing in at around 90kg?
Soul lifeguards
third asst. eng.(deuce of clubs) Posted Dec 13, 1999
can you be a union life gaurd if you have a current lifegaurd certification?
Soul lifeguards
TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund) Posted Dec 13, 1999
You'd have to ask Bluebottle about that.
I'm sure he'd let you.
Soul lifeguards
third asst. eng.(deuce of clubs) Posted Dec 13, 1999
cool I could be the guy that races out to save people on a moter boat leaps then helps them to there feet and walks them back.
Soul lifeguards
TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund) Posted Dec 13, 1999
Is this before or after you drive the boat back to the shore again?
Soul lifeguards
Bluebottle Posted Dec 13, 1999
Is that common US Navy procedure I wonder? But okay, you can be part of the team!
Soul lifeguards
Roasted Amoeba Posted Dec 13, 1999
The extra mass required to become a human comes from a complex chemical process that transforms purple carrots into human flesh...
Soul lifeguards
TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund) Posted Dec 14, 1999
So, erm, you (an amoeba) carry 89.999kg of purple carrots around with you at all times, just in case?
Soul lifeguards
TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund) Posted Dec 14, 1999
Oh, by the way, Bluebottle, could you make me a lifeguard? I've got the shorts and the orange floaty thing on a string, and my manly pectorals bounce up and down when I run in slow-motion.
Soul lifeguards
TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund) Posted Dec 14, 1999
Oh, by the way, Bluebottle, could you make me a lifeguard? I've got the shorts and the orange floaty thing on a string, and my manly pectorals bounce up and down when I run in slow-motion.
Key: Complain about this post
Soul lifeguards
- 61: Roasted Amoeba (Dec 10, 1999)
- 62: Bluebottle (Dec 10, 1999)
- 63: saffire (Dec 11, 1999)
- 64: Roasted Amoeba (Dec 12, 1999)
- 65: Roasted Amoeba (Dec 12, 1999)
- 66: Bluebottle (Dec 13, 1999)
- 67: TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund) (Dec 13, 1999)
- 68: Bluebottle (Dec 13, 1999)
- 69: Roasted Amoeba (Dec 13, 1999)
- 70: TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund) (Dec 13, 1999)
- 71: third asst. eng.(deuce of clubs) (Dec 13, 1999)
- 72: TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund) (Dec 13, 1999)
- 73: third asst. eng.(deuce of clubs) (Dec 13, 1999)
- 74: TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund) (Dec 13, 1999)
- 75: Bluebottle (Dec 13, 1999)
- 76: Roasted Amoeba (Dec 13, 1999)
- 77: ><> (Dec 14, 1999)
- 78: TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund) (Dec 14, 1999)
- 79: TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund) (Dec 14, 1999)
- 80: TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund) (Dec 14, 1999)
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