h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(Come on now, have you seen my wife?)

She left me left me 'lone cryin'
But now I feel fine.

That's why she's my Trouble and Strife..

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'tis almost the time for Pay Day

The sooner the better I say.

The last time I was payed

Was the last time I got laid

So I hope things go the same way!

______________________________


Oh sex is a wonderful thing

Oh goodness!! Are you offering??

Nah. The virtual kind
is a bit weird, I find.

Even the mice don't need a string

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There was an old drunk from Lochgelly

Who created some fuss using jelly

Adding scotch, gin and port
To make soup (of a sort)

And doing something you can't see on the telly

********************^^^^********************

A randomly deranged bee keeper

Got stung by one on the Dnieper

He rubbed it with Vicks

and vigorous licks

Made his rent a little less steeper.


There once was a man named LaRue
Who said, "in Rome, you should do,
As the Romans have done,
And go out and have fun."
So he went to the beach fully nude!


There once was a nudist named Tilly
Who remarked how the room had grown chilly...

his manhood was withered

As he walked through the blizzard

Coddling his petrified willy.
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There was an intrepid young banker