h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Zem, have you reported to Cal yet?

what?! i was meant to report to someone?! but i though leRue was my commander....

I definitely told you to report to Cal, whereupon you could tell me and I could begin giving you your ranks, which no-one else has had to do due to the fact they pick up vacant positions, with no-one to report to. Go. NOW!!! Hurry!!!

and leave those DNA samples alone...
or I could make something much worse just to effect you Zem,
you must have left enough of a trace on the outside of those samples by now

done it!!

oh yeah!!

*puts down DNA*

thankyou very much,

*takes DNA off into a small side laboratory with dimmed lights and shutters over the windows*

Zem, did he actually swear you in, or did you just say hello?

i'm waiting for him....

It's good to see that tha chemistry lab has been kept clean and tidy in my (enforced) absence.

*returns from biolab*
it took a while but I'm finally finished

Doctor,
It is good to contact you again. I hope that you have been well.

its good to see you also geddon
I am glad to see that you have returned

Yes, back to cause the customary mayhem (and a few explosions, aromas and to further the cause of custardspace)

Hey, The Hematite Warrior Is Back (In Black). Wow, whats this Room! Cool what does this do. *Presses Button, Big Explosion* Er, uh, um, GOTTA GO. *hits button on Wristband & teleports 2 Hematite Wing*

*Boots down door* I'm Back. This is my first port of call, because the entrance is over that way. *points* Hey! A big button! *presses it, bigger explosion* Err... gotta go. Urgent business with the... *looks uneasy for a moment, then runs*

Yes Nuge! You Pushed The Button too!!!!!!!! Its just sooooooo tempting!!!!!! The should put a sign up or something.

You know, they really should. I checked where the explosions were coming from. Turns out the button feeds Mcgaxs with beans. Several floors had to be evacuated.

Hmmmmm, so thats the Button Which Releases the Experiment So Rrightly Entitled "Feed McGax Beans & then run like ing Hell!!!!!!"

Yes, apparently, but someone with very pudgy fingers has switched the sign with the one off the button that ejects McGaxs' underpants drawer into deep space... Check the records.