h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Get the geiger counter!!

where is that again?

The wastematerial that is stored in special containers.

If you mean the geiger counter *reaches into cupboard* it's here

<<>>

oh that cupbord...
i always get the cupbords confused and end up finding a lot of paperclips and some string...
and some really sticky magnets.... and not in a magnetic sticky way
in a "have these been covered in something simalar to jam" sticky way

*Enters through miniture inflatable portable door won from "Tommy-boy" Holt in a game of Happy Families*
Hiya Anthea!
Hiya geiger counter!
Hiya Nuge!
Hiya radioactive "telytubby custard" (or so we used to call it at school)!

Does anyone need a Temporal doctor (or "tempipractor")?

Oh, sorry I missed a few.
Hiya behind Geddon's wall!
Hiya Zem-who-I-seem-to-vaguely-remember-from-a-year-ago!

It must seem like ages since I was here to you lot. I only popped out for five minutes but that's what time travel does for you.

I know. Nasty stuff. I'm actually in my office as well. This lot still haven't managed Time Travel either. Still mucking around with radioactive custard. *sips coffee which was, until now, unmentioned* Where is Zem anyhoo? I might send a message to all the Clique members to let them know what to do. *sips coffee again*

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to get rid of that coffee up Mr Nudge sir.... I dont want you atracting any ants into the Lab
nasty little things and a real pain to get rid of...

The solution, my dear doctor Wats- Anthea, is elementary. *Pulls on deerstalker* Lay down MORE CUSTARD! It will attract the ants with its sickly sweetness, and kill them as well.

P.S. There's also a very small chance it may mutate them into giant killer ants.

The custard from custardspace will not have that effect
BTW I've found this envelope marked

E.A. PRESLEY
TO BE OPENED IN THE EVENT OF MY DEATH


it is still sealed.

Hi, I was told to come here to get a job or somethin'.

* Time travelling! *

hey, I'm Nuge from the future. Not Nudge, Anthea, Nuge. Common mistake. Just to let you know that you're all doing a swell job. Where's that Cadet Zhou fella?

*holds up dyslexic badge and grins innanely*

Not strictly true, but never mind. it has come to our attention that you are a scientist, young sir. Would you like a job within the department?

*Writes out unbearably slowly a badge saying that he has dyspraxia and so must only write posts by keyboard and not by scrawling on the screen. Disappears momentarily*

I've just used my time travel thingy (technical term), travelled to 2018 at the site of Elvis' death. Therefore, since we can travel in time, if he is going to die he is already dead. QED.

*snatches envelope*

<<<*blink*>>>

*Re-reads own post and has to lie down for a while with a migraine. Stands up again, and opens envelope*

I can't believe this! It's... its....! ...