h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A dimly lit room with every drink imaginable behind the counter. A barman stands behind the counter looking angry. Tables are scattered around the place, and many of them are grubby and unclean. This plays stark contrast to the rest of the HQ.

You Know There is a bar in the Hematite Wing Too! MOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I'm not really Really evil I am just I just Enjoy a good giggle

I have a triple whiskey! It's been a bad day!

[Barmaid:Here you go sir, what's up?]

Finnally got the super computer up and running but it turns out it finds humans nothing more than insects.

[Barmaid:Yes, sir, that can happen] *Nuge walks in* [Barmaid (to Nuge):What's your poison, Captain?] *points at Mcgaxs*I'll have what he's having. *Takes a sip of the drink* Ahh... Hey, Mcgaxs. Hows all in the encryption room?

Good good . my super computers shot three hippes al ready. But i'm afraid soon it will come to hate all humans not just hippes. I still don't know how they got in

Hmm... Oh, thats right. Report to the meeting room immediately.

Ah, the most important place in the building.
-To Barmaid- I'm almost done, so I'll not get anything too strong. Just a glass of wine, please.

*sips drink, gets up, washes hands and leaves*

*runs in and grabs drink*

*In Despair*

A bar.


*He quickly sorts out the heading*

Hurray.

*gets thoroughly wasted*

*Even though the bar is now a pub it is the exact same but it now has an old man in the corner and it smells damp*

And has a dart board. Don't forget the dart board. Who wrote this to begin with?


*looks up*


Oh. Me. Dear-oh, that was a mistake. "bar"? Rubbish.

*Enters with tray of canadian wonderfulness left from lab, pleased at having been made God of Timbits.*
[Barmaid] What's ya poison?
Vodka martini, dry. No, wait, scratch that. Warm milk wish a dash of honey and a hint of nutmeg, to taste.
[Barmaid] Don't tell anyone this, Affs, darling, but the doctor says there's not much hope.
You don't mean you'll be stuck with those square parentheses forever?!
[Barmaid] Uh-huh.

Terrible. Seriously. Its terrible. I know a few people in the medical profession, do you want me to look into getting those square brackets removed?

[barmaid] Aaw, that would be loverliey, darlin'

*makes a phone call, with much furtive glancing towards the waitress. Eventually, he ends the call*

I'm afraid the best they can do is curly brackets. Will that do?

*{Barmaid}* Oow, that is fancy, isn't it, darlin.

Less square. Ah well. Hit me with a gin.


*thwakk*


Ow. Thanks.

*Enters and looks around. Bar is completely empty, except for a few so paralytic they haven't talked for two weeks.*

Hmm... Must be kareoke night.

Hello? ANYONE?









Hmm... Empty.

Not empty... just... unused. I've been away, but now I'm back... Huzzah!