h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Through the door is a LARGE room. On the Door is the number 18 and the legend "Clique Laboratory".
Underneath is the following:
Chief Science officer - Dr Anthea
Science officer (Chemist) Geddon

The room itself is divided into 2 sections - the good Dr will describe the biology section.
The chemistry Section contains 4 Benches dedicated to the each of the ancient elements - Fire, Air Earth and custard.(more later)

There are also 2 offices and a tea room. There is also a section for the labtech elves who help do the necessary.*

Good to see we've settled in. Now, for your First assignment, you have to create a DNA specific biological agent designed to cause diahrrohea in ARMY members, all exept myself. They're invading, you see. You up to it?

*walks in*

interesting....

Captain - You'll have to wait for the good Dr to sign in. I'm a chemist, not a biologist, thought I could probably do a diarrhoeal, and an antidote as soon as I get the funding toget set up.
Zem - Keep your hands in your pockets, we've not got the safety protocols in order yet.

I'm afraid that you can't tell me what to do. But you're a higher rank than Zem. You can do what you wish with him. For more information on the ranking system, visit the main page.

Captain, I warned Zem as, in terms of laboratory safety, the only one that outranks me is Dr Anthea. This is purely for your safety. In the old guild only the scientsts were allowed in the lab. this was purely on safety grounds.

I'll have you know that this is MY facility, and I outrank even Dr Anthea in terms of everything. No questions asked. I don't like being nasty, but if that's what it takes... *composes himself* You will continue work, and you will no longer annoy me with your useless babble. I am myself a trained medical professional, and know procedures for a laboratory environment. Plus, I have the authority to fire you so fast, your shadow won't be able to keep up. Understood?

How can geddon be higher than me if i joined before him

and i see you haven't even put my name on the page!!

I'll get to it. He is higher because he joined a vacant position, that being science section, and i know Dr Anthea well. Okay?

yeah but you still put his name on the page and not mine

Capitan Tobias so nice to see you
*greets the capitan warmly*
I must appologise for my absence I had things to do in reality
I can make you what you wish,
but first I shall need an example of your DNA and that of every other ARMY agent,

may I enquire as to the nessaserity of this?

*biology lab is bright white with various racks of test tubes and a refrigerator and several other peaces of equipment. everyone in the bio lab is requested to were a protective suit as not to spoil the experaments*

Good evening, Doctor, and welcome.

Ah thankyou Geddon it's nice to be here....
hmmm... nice laboratory...

*hands Dr Anthea DNA samples, all labled, of all involved soldiers and enemies* Is that okay?

Glad you approve.
*goes to work on the "Custard" Bench*

*picks up DNA samples and examines them carefully*

*switches the DNA samples between hands in a complicated manouvre*

*punches Zem in the mouth, reminding him whose side he is on, and that helping the other side will result in constant annoyance*

but whose side am i on? who knows............. sorry i do that sometimes.....

*steps in front of the workbench with the DNA samples covering them from view*

*there is a glint in his eye............or is it just his contact lenses?*