h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I firmly believe it's 2legs' fault that I had to spend two hours fighting with a lawnmower and a wet, overgrown lawn this afternoon. It's also probably his fault my new bunny keeps humping my cat.

now... there's a mental image to brighten one's day

I blame 2legs for laundry

I blame 2legs that I won't get home until really late tomorrow, because of a work-related wild goose chase...and with all my ingenuity, I can't find a way out.

Unless... maybe, just maybe...

I may be of assistance; I have a plan, so cunning, you could stick two or three tails on it, and call it a badger.

All we need, is;
Some UPVC glue, some double sided sticky tape, and a few insides from some toilet rolls, or kitchen rolls... and a small nuclear power source...

I blame 2legs for home pedicur. and the consequent mess on the floor in front of my computer desk in the studeo Mind... my feet havne't been this* smooth for a long while

I also blame 2legs for late night coffee necessity

I blame 2legs further for the fact that I somehow got side-tracked on the way to the shower, and ended up making pain de chocolate instead.

that's one hell of a getting distracted... why when I get distracted, do I just end up spending longer on the computer, or sort of drifting off in a kinda wisful daydreamy hazy kinda surreal medatitive sort of halucinogenic daydreaming kinda parallel universe... I mean... its a nice enough place to visit sometimes, but it doesn't involve chocolate... anythign which involves chocolate, is, I'd hazard a guess, as a general rule, is better than those things which do not involve chocolate... afterall, there is little in life not improved, in some small way, by chocolate involvment, on some level, however small. AS once mankind, humanity did ponder, like the lonley ant, climbing up the tree, such disparagys and misaprehensions, that as through our lives we pass, could not all, in no smlal part, by choclate improved be... like that. time, yes... Autumn I think it was... must have been, we'd run out of tuna in the cupbaord; Anyhow, yes, definately more purple than blue, except for the white bits, of course. anyhow, there was this almighty noise, and then it sort of simmered a bit, before well, kind of going all quiet agian, and we hadn't even began to notice there wasn't anything to notice at all, on the window outside. So we all went and laughed at the monkey, which none of us could see, in the oak tree, at teh bottom fo the garden; I slipped, and fell over the beach ball, and I'm sure someone stroked the laves on the budlier, or the bees, on the leaves, was hard to tell; whoever it was who decided on the baloons, I never quite saw the logic behind it, but, anyhow, we all agreed, afterwards, the zebra didn't bring enough choclate along; although, having said which, the marzipan was good, in itself. err. err.
did I just type that?
I blame 2legs for distractive thoughts, and unthinking distractedness and err, dunno... something else too probably I forget... Mind like a bucket of eels...

2legs, give me my voice back! I don't know whose voice is creaking out of my mouth, because it's certainly not *mine*...

I also blame 2legs for hardware stores closing 2 hours earlier on Sunday than they do the rest of the week--said time being, of course, 15 minutes before I went. I just needed one thing to get the new chickens out of the garage!

I blame 2legs for excessive workload, with long sharp claws and hunger in spite of the recent pasta lunch.

I blame 2legs for the gorgeous sun out, for the tasty pie, whilst standing at the pie wall, in the sun, and for the total lack of any anything involving a flogger, bull whip, cane, torse, belt or... anything else today Walk by the river was nice, and making the girl in the tobacco shop blush, and say 'I don't want to know!;, was amusing and being in the cafe with William was good especially... well

I blame 2legs for tiredness

I blame 2legs that I just paid £30 for a guy to hit my horse with a hammer, any violence toward ponies being entirely within his sphere of influence.

(No horses were harmed in the making of this post - never mind the horse dentist, my lovely horse just went to the horse physio.)

awwww... poor ickle pony I would like to point out, that I have never injured an animal in my life! (just in case animal rights are follwoing this thread.... ) in fact... I'm generally speaking opposed to all forms of vilence, and I'm a paceafist really Of course... on the otter hand, I blame 2legs for my just spending the last two hours reading various things about pain processing, floggers, canes, paddles, sub drop management, pain thresholds, endorphins,ceilings and faulse ceilings, and stuff and... there just happens to be a large 50-tailed leather flogger hanging on the headboard on my bed, next to me not that I'd ever wield such a thing myself, in my own hand mind

I also blame2legs for my decideing I didn't want supper an hour ago... and now feeling a bit peckish... but its too late now for eating anything

I blame 2legs for the starling that flew down my chimney early
this morning. This has happened at this time each year for the
past few years. The difference, sadly, is that this year, after
the coldest, most storm-and-snow-filled winter on record,
the woodstove was still burning.

I leave you to imagine my terror as I listened to it struggle
in vain to escape back up the stove pipe. It is midnight now
and I have let the fire die out and it is getting chilly. And yet
I lack the courage now to open the woodstove to stoke it up.

I have freed one bird every year, learning to pull the shades on
all windows first and to open all the doors leading to its speedy,
fluttering, ash strewing escape to the out of doors.

I direct you to a poem I wrote a few years ago about the Pheonix
when I first successfully allowed a sooted bird to escape from
the colder hearth of much warmer Springs.
A87780702
~jwf~

Awww,,, That's a shame.... no way you could put a err, I don't know what they're called; the 'tops' on the chimney?: kinda shaped things, still let the smoke out, but sort of angled... they must have a name (but may only be suitable for particular types of fires), I've no idea what my father has, on his, for his wood and coal duelfuel stove He's got nowdays <alienfrown: the horrible one there, is the birds which keep flying into the big window of the lounge; he's tried all kinds of things; dangling yellow 'danger tape' (like goes round roadworks etc), from above the window, so it hangs down in front of the glass; even taping some of the tape, across bits of the window, putting patio fulrnature piles up, in front of it, and still every year a lot of birds fly into it, and some do die from it

I blame 2legs for the terrifying loose of all 'self' and 'eg', and for the delisciousness of the same, and for the contradiction in being able to be both frightened and fearful, and hopeful desirous of such a loose of all 'self', at the same time there is tea, there is no tea; you have tea and no tea.

Scaffolding.

I blame 2legs for the, what might appear to others, somewhat acletic, strange, odd, or perhaps scarey or just plain peculiar, contents of my rucksack, which I just packed for my week away, starting from tomorrow.

I blame 2Legs for me not being able to give road directions when I am a passenger in a car, not being able to tell the difference between right and left.

I blame 2Legs for my cat Simba who keeps on scratching the porch's wallpaper and for half a funny half hour.

I blame 2legs for the interconnectiveness of all things, and the disconnectiveness of all things. The way in which the universe is, and is not, and the mind is, and is not, and how the mind can be, yet not be, everything and anything, but nothing and not everything so... big... so huge... and so... we're all it... every bit... its like... mind blowing... if there was, of course a mind to blow I also blame 2legs for the two large homemade multigrain rolls, toasted, with butter, mustard and HP sauce, that I just had... filled with grilled sausages I'm sure they're quite exterstential too, in their own unique way... when my brain or mind comes back... I'll ahve to ask it.. until which time... here's some light music and a dancing elk, to pass the time

I blame 2legs for the quietness and boredom of Twitter du to his absence.

I blame 2legs for procrastination.

I've had four days off work, and now - at 8 o'clock the last evening I've started with what I should four days ago...

I blame him for not being in the Lair making sure I did my tasks...

I blame 2legs for tiredness, my missing William already, and for the deliscious soreness that my week away at William's has left me with
I also blame 2legs for my wanting more of the stuff that made the soreness already...