h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

She was probably summoned, poor old girl.

It's a Halloween thing, I guess.

Out on the lawn the death ship's tattered sails billow suddenly in a breeze that isn't there and in the silence of the ballroom, (the band are obviously on a break), strains of a strangled accordian are heard playing an off key sailor's hornpipe.

Is it just me, or has the temperature dropped in here?

Pale grey, vaguely humanoid, shapes clamber down the nets to the lawn and make their way up the steps to the ballroom with a macabre step, step, hop motion.

The wheezy accordian is louder and changes to waltz time.

The first pair of shapes glide in through the doors and begin a slow waltz. They're followed by two more and two more.

A partnerless shape enters, the Hatstand breaks away from the architect; these look like his kind of people.

He steps up, holds out the dinner jacket sleeves, and slids into a swaying waltz with the Shape.

The Albatross steps from side to side, swinging the chandelier in time.

Well, you did ask for dancing

Here I am, working like a dog to make our children's futures brighter and our editor's heads more powdery and y'all are dancing, gossiping about me and blowing whistles! As if that weren't enough, it's beggar's night here and there's a strange old man down the street playing on an organ... making the whole neighborhood creepy.

Y'know what? I'm not going to be left out.
*blows the whistle three times, gossips and twirls Hyp*

Suddenly the room is filled with eerie colors - greens and pinks and blues in swirling patterns

Hypatia whispers to the seal.....does the aurora always accompany the death ship?

The Albatross swings faster, eyeing the Vice President coldly. She seems almost possessed.

Dunno really. I only saw it once before. That time, it was sunset, and after that it got dark like really quickly.

Good job it was Jodan who blew it, yeah? The Lady-who-is-Life-in-Death will possess his soul for all eternity now, but he'll probably notice it less than most.

Poor old Coleridge. This kind of thing happens to her all the time.

Funny thing is, there’ll be no trace of it all come daybreak. You’ll look for the death-ship, and in its place on the lawn there’ll be something innocuous, like a helicopter carelessly parked in the magnolia.

*watches the pale translucent figures swaying rhythmically to the eerie hornpipe while the colors undulate around them, through them*

It's actually quite lovely - in a grotesquely surreal way.

Like I don't have enough problems.

Pah.

Yeah. You got stood up by a hound two nights running too.

The VicePresident's 'pah' trails into silence.

He has noticed the Albatross. He gazes at the chandelier.

He is mesmorised.

As the figures sway and the colours undulate, wisps of orange from his tie start to join in.

Then a black mist swirls from his suit, merges with the blues and greens. The Vice President is dissolving before everyone's eyes.

, should we do something? Or not, guys.

Well, if we really need a VP, I reckon we should swear in the hatstand.

Oh, yeah. Neat idea. I'll get my office, no problem, and we don't have to do anything about that.

*points to half dissolved VP*

*The albatross gazes sadly at the vulture, and shakes her head. She traces a sigil with an outstretched pinion, and Jodan reappears, albeit with parts of his suit smouldering disconceringly. The VP falls to the floor with a thump*

Eh?

The Sheep is VVP, I'll have you know. And I'm going to go read for a few hours and I expect to be all in one piece when I come back.

There's gratitude for you...

*Hypatia looks at the dancer's faces, trying to read their expressions.* Evil? I don't think so. I see only longing and regret. For words said and unsaid. For opportunities forever lost. For the touch of a hand in the darkness....the smell of a certain cologne...gentle laughter...companionable silence...joyful expectation.

*Jodan looks into the eyes of his sheep*

Evil? Absolutely. But I also see an undying thirst and an expectation for dinner a few hours ago... never fulfilled.



Thanks. Hopefully now that I'm in one piece I can walk over to the bookshelf now. 'night all.