h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In the main ballroom at Alabaster House preparations are underway for the social event of the season – the Official Inauguration Miners and Masquerade Ball and Sadie Hawkins Dance. Musicians are tuning their instruments and practicing their sets. The dance floor is receiving a final coat of polish. A lavish buffet is being set up and bartenders are busy stocking the bar.

Soon costumed guests will begin arriving for the long awaited event. The servants are happily whispering among themselves, wondering what the President and Vice President and their staffs and ministers will be wearing and what prizes are hidden inside the gaily wrapped boxes near the judges podium.

The event will begin at precisely 4:00PM GMT October 30th and will end with a breakfast buffet at precisely 6:00 AM GMT on November 1st. The Sadie Hawkins ladies choice dance will be held in the plaza and will begin at midnight on Oct. 30th. The grand promenade to select the best costume winners will be held on Halloween at 10:00 PM GMT.

*puts on his makeup*

*(very manly makeup)*

Who is Sadie Hawkins?

And who merits an invite to this wonderful event?

Sadie Hawkins is a character in an old comic strip. Little Abner by Al Capp. Sadie was so ugly that her daddy instigated this race where the young women chased the young men, who had to marry whoever caught them.

And everyone is invited. Especially Ozark Partry memebers.

Aah, I see.

Excellent, another party!

*rushes off to find something to wear*

*Digs out the 'Little black 'Pulling' dress'*

Anyone in mind, Reefgirl?

No just those who maybe of use to my department

Ah. Political pulling, I like it.

And ordinary pulling too, a party isn't a party unless you go with the express purpose of pulling someone

Well, good luck.

Thanks, I'm pulling in my official capacity of course

Ahem.....I suppose I should explain that the Sadie Hawkins dance has morphed over the years into just a ladies choice dance. No actual foot races or shotgun weddings are involved.

I need to put some last minute touches on my costume.

We can still use it as an excuse to go on the pull tho? can't we?

*checks watch*

Blimey, 13 minutes to go.

*Finally slinks out of her room in her little black pulling dress hair done, make up done and in flat shoes as stillettos are dangerous when drunk*

*Arrives to an empty room*

Correct me if I'm wrong, but we haves started, right? 4 o clock GMT? Are you all just being fashionably late?

*turns on tape of people applauding, along with a great deal of trumpeting and baa-ing*

*the Vice President enters. The Vice Vice President takes a rather lovely sheep by the hoof and begins to twirl her.*

If it will help, I could soon fill up the place with a few unused anagrams. Look! There are lots of people here. I’m going to say grace.
My good friend over there (Guitar-Induced Shiver) is going to lead the band.
This gentleman (Evict Unguarded Irish) is the bouncer.
May I also introduce?
Saucer-Thieving Druid - in charge of the diners’ place-settings
Re-used Diving Haircut - emergency maintenance of guests’ coiffure
Urged Shinier Viaduct - the architect of this splendid building
Curved-Radius Nightie - lingerie consultant
Educating Hired Virus - looking after first-aid
Vague Dirtied Urchins - will clean up afterwards
Grave Hindu Crudities - our somewhat non-PC after-dinner speaker
Additives Enrich Guru - on hand for recreational consumables
Reduced Virgin Hiatus - on hand for other recreational needs
Audit Crude She-Virgin - as above
Naughtier Druid Vices - ditto
Hurried Caving Duties - under the table for some reason
A Rude-Hung Recidivist - not sure about him, either
Gravid Suicide Hunter - yes…well…need I continue?

*enters, adjusting his bow-tie and swinging his jacket noncholantly over his shoulder. The suit is a deep, almost black, grey, the shoes are his usual brown pair, but significantly more polished than usual, and he wears a swirly-patterned waistcoat (that's a vest, for those in the States) over a pale yellow shirt*



That's a very, er, distracting outfit, Reefgirl.