h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Helps Bagpuss up*

And that is a very distinguished ensemble you're wearing Baggers

Thanks.

*dusts self down*

Shall we get something to drink?

Sometimes these three day events are a bit late starting.

*Hypatia motions to the orchestra.* Please begin.

Those present in the room turn toward the chief executive, expecting to find her still wearing her black and gold silk pajamas and robe. They are amazed to discover her in formal attire. She is wearing a floor length, steel gray gown consisting of a flowing georgette skirt overlaid with a sequined silk, long-sleeved bodice. Dyed to match satin, sequined pumps with sensible two and a half inch heels adorn her small feet. Her jewelry is simple, to contrast with her glittering gown - her ruby teardrops at ears and throat and her diamond and ruby engagement ring. In her hand is a silver and scarlet featherd and sequined half mask. The shaved spots on her hear are covered by a Madame Bovary-style wig dyed to match her gown and adorned with ruby studs. It has the added benefit of giving her a little height.

Hypatia spots the vice president and motions for him to approach.

Have you ever danced with a President, young man?

*Takes Bagpuss's arm*

I'd be delighted

evening all


sorry i'm late, been buffing up me pet hamster

*She shouts to RJR as she and Jodan dance past* You're here now. That's what's important.

Jodan, you're quite light on your feet. I am genuinely impressed.

I'll just get a drink and have a mingle

*fetches *

Does everyone here so far know everyone else?

And is there anyone here who doesn't have an office in the government yet? We need a Minister of Silly Walks and a Sheep Whisperer.

I don't have a brief yet but i think it might be better if i don't either

Opens up another bottle! even prezzz fancy a foxtrot

I would be delighted, Jack. Do you tango as well?

I don't think I've met Rev. Jack, though he is in the FC&MS&SC, so I've probably bumped into him before.

*Quizzical arrives attired in a floor-length black velvet gown and black suede boots with a modest 2-inch heel (she plans to do lots of dancing and wants her feet to co-operate; also she doesn't want to tower over any possible dance partners). The dress's deep V-neck is set off by a black velvet-and-diamond choker and a lovely diamond-emerald-and-ruby spider pin on the shoulder. Over the gown she is also wearing a black velvet floor-length hooded cape that is lined in red satin. In her hand she carries a small black velvet evening bag, because a lady always needs to carry powder to touch up her nose and red lipstick to touch up her lips. Plus she can discreetly collect interesting munchies over the course of the evening.*

*But... is she a witch? A vampire? A Victorian lady with a daring sense of fashion? A wench in search of the pirate who stole her heart? No indeed, ladies and gentlemen. This vision in black is a comedienne. Just to confound people's expectations, she had dyed her hair a lovely pumpkin colour and, assisted by half a tube of styling gel, she has punked it up into all-over spikes. She has eschewed heavy makeup so that a few freckles are noticeable on her nose. And she is wearing a chain wrapped around her wrist - just in case her choice of dance partner has other ideas - and on her face she's wearing a mischievous grin.*

*goes off to mingle*

Tango, do I Tango, I taught Jamie Lee Curtis and Arnie

*grabs rose out of the vase*

heads out on to the dance floor and grabs the prezzz around the waist

Oi band master, Play a nice spicy Tango for me and the prezz, and leave out the banjo player this time!

Thank you Bagpuss, do you fancy a dance? I've been watching Strictly Come Dancing so I'm up to speed

Quizzical, you look lovely.

*takes the rose from RJR and places it betwen her teeth*

(Enters quietly. Hastily stands between and photographers).

Good to see you stepping out on the dance floor, Madam President! That should impress the young voters!

*goes up to the Vice President*

Think we should show these folks how we dance in Ohio? Oh Mr Bandleader! Could you play "Boot Scootin' Boogie" for us, please?

'Yeah, here we go, do-se-do
Come on baby let's go boot scootin.
Oh cadillac, blackjack,
baby meet me out back, we're gonna boogie.
Oh get down turn around
To do the boot scootin' boogie!'

*tangos past*

Nice to see you Spinmeister. *waves*

*the music suddenly changes*

Is that the Ohio Pumphandle Stomp?