h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You give me a reason to live Sweet darling You can leave your hat on

*counts available hats and realises there are 5 Chaps and only 4 modesty protecting hats available ... and he can't reach his own Topper*

good God! its a cross-h2g2 conspiracy! in every forum i am beset by people who want me to remove my shirt! well it wont work, what? especially not as i have a lesson to go to, what?

* Five buttons undone now. Polidari's man is beginning to get into the swing of things.

* Hasn't got a lesson to go to, but looking around the room spots a couple of likely fillies who could probably teach him a thing or two...

*turns his back to the stage, and in a rather mystifying move, manages to raise his toga from the bottom and lower it from the top at the same time...*

*spots the ten dollar bill*

*wanders in hearing the music of Joe Cocker done rather tunelessly by her fellow researchers*
sorry... thought you were announcing the dress code...
*covers the Holy Tail with her hat and s back out the door*

* stays by the bar drinking , oblivious to the comotion, wondering what happened to Bassman NOW! *

I would do a solo for ya Lasses. But me the excitement would be more than I could Handle. Gets *retires to table against wall*

*Saturn Girl tosses the borrowed Top Hat back to Red Dog* Oh, fine, you can have it back *pouts*

Hey! Well, I never...! A blasted pole, right in the center of the stage!!

Whatever shall we do with that, chaps?


*tosses toga into the crowd, revealing a very revealing undergarment... see this years H2G2 bikini competition for more details... *

WooHooo Baby! Work it, sweet cheeks, work it!

*bends down to retrieve Topper, glances up for a brief moment and gets an unrestricted view of Apollo's biggest asset*

MY EYES !! MY EYES !! Where's my blasted sunnies .....

*puts sunnies on*

Ah yes thats better . That was a close call.

*knocks herself over covering her eyes*

*finally with a herculean effort Redders trousers are ripped orf to reveal an impressive and volumous pair of British Army "Desert Rat" Khaki shorts*

Ah bout time the old pins saw daylight once again. These bad boys carried me all the way across North Africa chasing Rommel in the last big show what. What do you reckon to them eh Gels

*shows orf legs*

* 32 buttons down, 16 to go ...

Damn regimental uniforms....

*down to the long-johns*

*trying to be the only researcher left not to slip over on Abi's drool*

*teasingly kicks boots off into the audience*

* 3 buttons to go. Polidari's man's fingers are beginning to bleed.

yeah baby you can do what you want

*teases audience with his shorts*

*notices everyone else appears to be a few layers behind*

oh.. umm... must have gotten a bit carried away, what with all these lovely gels chanting and all! Well you chaps go on ahead and catch up, I'll wait...

Gets knocked out by one of the boots.

Sweet darling You can leave your hat on

*off comes the socks to a roar from the crowd*


*the roar turns to an urrrgh when the socks hit the crowd*