h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thats my drink of choice. Mind if I have a spot of that. No ladies
around and all. Shucks. Well can always comtiplate next Marshmello flinging

...Why no, you didn't tell me what you did in the last war. How about you tell me about it over a drink? Maybe we could sit a little bit? I've been on my feet dancing a couple days now, is it?

...*dreaming of & ...*

Absolutely old thing. Look there's a comfy sofa next the ad-hoc sleeping arrangements Pandora has made for herself on the floor. She looks so angelic sleeping there. I wonder how large the hangover will be in the morning, eh what !

*leads SG over to the sofa*

Care for another drinkies my dear ?

The KID not buggin Comander RED DOG. Goes to the bar for some with a chaser. Needs to tell this guys about a Boiler Maker. Hmm maybe they already know. Had a smashing time on V'Day. Almost lucky how the lights went out the other day.
Finding it difficult to do any manual labor. Well ticket was worth the price. I should say.

...*awakens from her drunken stuper, er, wee nap...has no idea where she is...jumps up & BANGS her head un the underside of the table...* Oooo I just hate when that happens!...*steps over several snoring people...*sigh*...reminds me of the good old daze.........Now, where is that flask holding the hair of the dog?

* passes more *

* the double doors fly open, there stands Squabbling Bleeder Bassman (Retired) medals and toe caps glinting in the light from the chandelier. Creases in his trousers that you could shave with *

I say, sorry to be a little on the tardy side ladies and chaps, had a little spot of bother with some gypsies, bit of a rum deal. Tried to set up camp on the 10th fairway. Never mind, saw them orf good and propper. It might take Hogg and Scroters a few days to clear up the debris though. I wouldn't have thought that a caravan would disintegrate so, when hit by a round from the old elephant gun, what? Bally matchwood they are now!

I say Light, did my man pick you up and whisk you here to your satisfaction? If not - I'll sort the beggar out. Once again sorry for not being here to escort you to the bar. May I say you look radiant.

I say Pandora old girl, you're looking most fetching tonight.

Well chaps, have I missed the full Montgomery?



Bassers.

sorry, apollo. been busy IRL, and out of town.

*sea takes apollo's outstretched hand, gives him a on the cheek to thank him for waiting while she hid her dictionary, and follows him onto the dance floor*

*twirls, struts, spins, dips, , twists, steps, lunges, tosses, grinds, flips, swings...*

Well Chaps, we've quite an athletic li'l filly here! I say, the montgomery may be a bit... umm embarassing ... for myself at present

*waves to Bassers from the sofa*

No, plenty of time old chap. Apollers needs to extracate himself from that athgletic filly he's in a clinch with

*points to dance floor*

what's a montgomery?

*wakes up next to Pandora under the table*

I say, what the is going on here!?

*The orchestra breaks into a familiar tune*


Oh no.........its the...........TIME WARP!!!!

Lets do the time warp again!!!!!!!

*from the sofa*

I say sea, Field Marshall Viscount Montgomery of Alamein was a distinguished British General of WW2 and was instrumental in beating the hide off the boche in the last "do" as it were. We have named a dance in his honour called the Full Montgomery ..... or the full Monty as you colonials might know it.

When enough of the Chaps get here we plan on doing our little number. Splendid, what !

Now where did I put that dashed drink !

I say boys, are we going to be doing the Montgomery or do I just need to keep drinking and grabbing any servant girls that happen to walk by?

Like I have been doing for the last three days.

Actually this reminds me of the Valentine's ball of '56 which you'll remember didn't finish 'til November 1961. Only recently shaken off the hangover...

Right-o, Pollers, lets get the bally show on the road then. Inkers, Busters, Bassers, Pollers, Apollers, Unkkers, up on stage Chaps. Yes, yes, you can bring your drinks with you but not the bally wimmin ! Ramblers you're on too - get your sheet ready.

*gestures to band to strike up "You can leave your hat on" *

OK in a line Chaps. Suck in those stomachs boys and get the family jewels ready we want to make a good impression here.

*starts to girate in time to the music whilst fiddling with his cummerbund*

* Polidari gets his man to help him onto the stage, and immediately needs a and a sit down...

Baby take off your coat real slow and take off your shoes

*takes off medals*

* starts snoring gently.