h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Mewtwo] }Come on! Let's go --{

[Vekura] {I'll make the announcements, Hubby.}

[Mewtwo] [eyes glow; there is a sort of red explosion of light around him as he says] }HUBBY!?!?{

[Vekura] {Come on! Let's go to HP's office! All of us will coincidentally arrive there at the same time!}

...63...62...61...

no villains other than the clones, eh?

*sea puts her rock climbing skills to good use and starts scaling the wall of the tower*

*the sky slowly grows dark again*

60...59...58...

A few stairways from HP's office, Giguschild steps out of the window and scuttles sideways along the wall, looking for a way to enter other than the obvious one...

57...56...55...

54...53...52

*Link's hookshot firesup the laundry chute, and latches up into the darkness. The three heros begin their ascent*

[Mewtwo] }I suppose we can wait 'till the count reaches zero...{

[Vekura] {Let's just describe doing something!}

[Mewtwo] }All right.{ [goes cross-eyed and continues ascent upside-down]

[The ascent is pretty quick, but not as quick as Link expected, because of the added weight of the other two]

[51...50...49...]

*meanwhile sea is making fairly good time scaling the wall despite the high wind, which grows steadily*

*henchman bursts into HP's office*

Henchman: Sir, there is an ominous countdown sounding and everybody is heading here, the disemboweling has stopped and so's the bad weather...

I see... well... if there's going to be an ominous countdown, I want to know what its about... I guess I'll find out soon...

*sighs* And all the heroes are trashing my brand new castle for no reason... I don't get it... surely there has to be a reason for all this madness

[48..47..46..]

[HP}=~~

*About halfway up the laundry chute, GL notices a side duct.*

You two continue up the chute. It will take you directly to HP's office. I'm going to check out this side duct.

*GL splits up with the other two heros and begins to crawl along the side tunnel. It soon starts to angle upwards, but then branches. GL hesitates, then shrugs and takes the left branch. The tunnel continues to climb, with numerous branches. GL arbitrarily chooses branches and only roughly knows where in the castle he is.*

[...45...44...43...]

[Link] Okay.

[The hookshot continues its slow ascent]

*Ha! I get to say '42'! Ha!*

(42...41...40)

*Every one has forgotten about the ominous looking army, which is probably a good thing. Just as sea is about to reach the top of her tower, the Affy/fireball zooms back, scalding her once again. Affy appears standing right over her, and points at something on the ground*

Hey, sea? I just got an invincible army of some friends from one of KL's early bio-engineering projects. I remembered some of his earlier experiments with facial/skin deformities and some of the mental images I saw were surprisingly comical, and I though you might...oh, just look for yourself.

*Affy motions to the ground, and sea follows his hand. Sea sees an incredible army of clowns surrounding the base of the tower, looking up at sea and making jokes, throwing pies, and holding one of those empty trampolines right under where sea is. Sea gasps, and then notices that Affy has pushed her off of the tower. The clowns laugh as sea plummets towards them*

I really shouldn't take advantage of other people's phobias, but I think this is justified.

[Mewtwo] }This is g-- This is silly.{

*sea screams in terror as she plummets toward the deranged clown army, then suddenly, she stops in midair. sea looks understandably stunned*

[sea] am i dead?

[evillene] no, you moron. i can fly. open your eyes and see for yourself.

*sea sees and is slightly disappointed*

[sea] oh.

*Fortunately, however, Affy is now alone on top of the castle. He concentrates with all of his might on the spell that he had been formulating since escaping from jail. He looks over his scrolls one more time before holding his hands in an appropriate position, having one of which hold up his staff, like an antenna to help concentrate his energy. Bolts of lightning flash, and zip around the sky, totally unaware of a very near continuity breach on the part of evillene. Affy thinks once more, and shouts the spell*

GIRGOLMAZIMBORC!!!

*An explosion of energy zooms out from Affy, and everthing touched by the explosion of magic is reverted back to the original Atross City. This sudden change in elements, however, surprises evillene enough that sea is dropped into the throng of crazy clowns. She suddenly finds herself covered with the cream of dozens of pies, which is then washed out with the seltzer bottles. Affy uses his returned watch to teleport to the leader of the clowns, and whispers something in its ear. The clown grins a surprisingly sadistic grin, and utters commands to the other clowns. The clowns laugh maniacally, and pull a screaming sea into a recently set up tent. When sea comes out, she is unaware of the change that the clowns made, she just knows something is horribly wrong. Affy approaches, carrying a mirror*

Oh, those are good colors. And this kind of stuff won't come out for at least three weeks, even if you're constantly bathing in paint thinner.

*Sees the look of confusion in sea's face. Affy grins, and holds up the mirror. Sea screams when she sees a clown on the other side of the mirror*

*sea stares at the mirror, dumbfounded. then she sighs*

[sea] i knew there would come a time that i would get over my fear of clowns. this seems to be it. i had a pretty good time in that tent!

*sea turns into a puddle. the painted face is left floating on top of the puddle. then the puddle reforms into sea, who is no longer a clown. she hands the paint mask to affy*

[sea] guess that paint wasn't transfiguration-proof. sorry, affy.

i may have broken continuity just now, but i didn't before. it has been widely known since evillene's creation that she can fly. check her for hire ad for proof! hahaha. i like being right!

38, 37, 36 (you forgot to count, and I cant remember the number so I'm just making it up! Wahey!)

*The hookshot is suddenly turned into a miniature anti-grav device, and Link and UH shoot up the chute, crashing, unfortunately into the now solid metal floor of HPs office. They remain there, their heads bobbing up and down against the steel floor for a moment, until UH cuts a nice shaped hole with his claws. Once again, they face HP*

*HP raises his disdainful eyebrow, his sharp suit and executive toys returned to him*

Well, that was refreshing...

*snaps his fingers, security teams appear around the hero's in his office...*

Now, would you like to tell me what the hell you're actually doing here?

[HP}=~~



*Meanwhile, in another part of town*

*The shockwave of the GIRGOLMAZIMBORC spreads throughout the city... looking purple and ominous. Elorex and co. sit in a Ford Transit, looking flabbergasted. They take it in turns to see if they actually exist and haven't dissappeared in freak logic puffs*

NO 2: Hey, Elorex, we're back! We're back in our time!

Elorex: It would appear so

NO 3: Thisss iss good! But... wait... where's the plunder?

*they all look around, the back of the transit is packed with cold cash and gold bullion*

*Elorex grins*

Elorex: Lads, I think we've come up trumps on this deal...

*Affy appears inside HP's office, right behind HP. The guards begin to approach but Affy, once again able to combine his magic and science, seems more in his element than ever. Not one security person is injured, but they all end up in an impressive loop of their hand cuffs. Affy smirks*

I go where I please. If no one dared stop Green Jester, why try to stop me?

*Turns to Uncle Heavy, Garius, Lunk, and whatever other superheroes might be here*

Guys, just leave for now. As much as I'd like to arrest this EG, there's no real charge to make the arrest with.

Besides, read the plotlines closely: while he is *a* villain (and no doubt up to some form of no good that we're unaware of), HP isn't the villain of the story. It was Elorex and company who switched time, trapped the heroes and STUMPED villains, and caused most of the rest of the mischief. It's *them* we're after right now. So, if you'll excuse me...

*Affy puts on his trenchcoat, and floats out through the door, and continues floating until he can find a window that wasn't closed during the storm. Affy floats out of this, and begins to fly around the city, scanning for any sign of the three other villains. Thinks he sees something, and begins a slow, calculated descent*

*nods*

I'll send the repair bill to CHOPPERS... I don't think I see our brave IE doing any damage... where did she go... by the way..?

*sighs and eyes his guards carefully*

Well, don't just stand there... get the cutters...

*guards trudge off in a large, handcuffed mass*

*HP presses a button on his intercom, a light flashes momentarily and blinks out*

[HP}=~~

[Oh, I just love it when I make the bad guys confused! ]

*IE is sitting, crouched in a tiny spot. At first it's hard to make out where she is, but then a single ray of light penetrates the spot and it is possible to make out high stacks of money piled around her.
Though she may be sitting in quite a monumental/dangerous place, she is quietly sulking*

Doesn't know who I am... huh... typical! You go around, saving the place for ages, then they come... and they don't know who you are!
Those who <> know who I am, I would advise to read the front page!

[IRL: I haven't been around much due to school pressures, and am going away 4 two weeks on Wed, but I will be back!!!]

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