h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One word of caution: I'm quite happy to keep your beer cold (or warm, if you're partial to that ) while you're up there flying. But, please, no drinking and flying...!

Well said!

True... alligators are not a common sighting on British beaches... but with the whole globalization tendencies these days you can never be sure...
That and the fact that the security in the sewers is not what it used to be

alligators are slighty frightening... are they also attracted to clothing just like sharks?
heh heh heh ... whoevers piloting up there better not be wearing anything--just for safety measures of course

I don't think so...
though just for argument's sake let's say yes, as to further enforce regulations
for the most part they're just attracted to bodies of water (and bodies of people, come to think about it)....

It's not just alligators that are attracted to bodies of people, I hear...

I see that in carrying out my lifeguard's duty and piloting a helicopter to save the swimming pool of alligator invasion has led to a couple of new Lifeguards well they ain't geeting my helicopter as I still need it for Mountain and snow rescue.

Perhaps a deranged sort of pilot. You remember Ducktales...like Lauchpad only a little smarter.

Then he's definately not getting the loan of my helicopter.

Hmph! These helicopter pilots... Coming over here, taking away our virtual jobs.. who needs a lifeguard when there's a bloody great helicopter out there doing the lookout?

*Brightens up at the thought of an idea*

You couldn't give me a lift to the top of mount sandcastle could you? I apologise fully about any previous comments.

*begins long climb up mt. sandcastle to begin shift watching for drowing bikinee babes*

It doesn't have to just be drowning bikini babes (who naturally aren't wearing bikinis to conform to HRASC standards) you can rescue - people who can't ski well are fair game too.

beautiful people who cant ski well of course...

On a helicopter?
Wouldn't the wind of the rotor blades lift up sand and snow storms, causing havok both at the beach AND the ski slopes and thus, creating more accidents?
Not to mention the fact that all those sandcastles and snowmen everyone likes to make will be flattened by said winds?
Plus, landing that chopper on a densely populated beach/slope might cause accidental dismemberment or decapitation by rotor blades...
That is why you need lifeguards... to save the lives of poor, hapless bikini babes/bikini skiers (sans bikini, naturally)...
Thus, the helicopter is more like the eyes of the lifeguard, not it's limbs...

That sounds about right. OK, a beach rule: Any helicopters flying overhead are strictly forbidden from allowing their rotorblades to turn.

Sounds fair to me... Just make sure they turn when they land.

That was easy then...
What's the policy on hovercrafts?

Well....they're out in the sea, so I don't think they're much of a problem. As long as they're naked too. (Just like my poor, now silver, JCB).

Naturally, no paint jobs, and the babe sticker on the side is absolutely naked too... regulation compliant

Oh, well, then, I'm sure there will be no problem at all. As long as it's not driven up onto the beach where it may knock down the sandcastles.