A Conversation for H2G2 Waterworks: The Lifeguard Hut

Be a lifeguard

Post 161

Santragenius V

One word of caution: I'm quite happy to keep your beer cold (or warm, if you're partial to that smiley - sadface) while you're up there flying. But, please, no drinking and flying...!


Be a lifeguard

Post 162

Bluebottle

Well said!


Be a lifeguard

Post 163

tyran

True... alligators are not a common sighting on British beaches... but with the whole globalization tendencies these days you can never be sure...
That and the fact that the security in the sewers is not what it used to be


Be a lifeguard

Post 164

saffire

alligators are slighty frightening... are they also attracted to clothing just like sharks?
heh heh heh ... whoevers piloting up there better not be wearing anything--just for safety measures of coursesmiley - winkeye


Be a lifeguard

Post 165

tyran

I don't think so...
though just for argument's sake let's say yes, as to further enforce regulations
for the most part they're just attracted to bodies of water (and bodies of people, come to think about it)....


Be a lifeguard

Post 166

Bluebottle

It's not just alligators that are attracted to bodies of people, I hear...


Be a lifeguard

Post 167

Demon Drawer

I see that in carrying out my lifeguard's duty and piloting a helicopter to save the swimming pool of alligator invasion has led to a couple of new Lifeguards well they ain't geeting my helicopter as I still need it for Mountain and snow rescue.

smiley - smiley


Be a lifeguard

Post 168

kearnest

Perhaps a deranged sort of pilot. You remember Ducktales...like Lauchpad only a little smarter.


Be a lifeguard

Post 169

Demon Drawer

Then he's definately not getting the loan of my helicopter.
smiley - smiley


Be a lifeguard

Post 170

TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund)

Hmph! These helicopter pilots... Coming over here, taking away our virtual jobs.. who needs a lifeguard when there's a bloody great helicopter out there doing the lookout?

*Brightens up at the thought of an idea*

You couldn't give me a lift to the top of mount sandcastle could you? I apologise fully about any previous comments.


Be a lifeguard

Post 171

third asst. eng.(deuce of clubs)

*begins long climb up mt. sandcastle to begin shift watching for drowing bikinee babes*


Be a lifeguard

Post 172

Bluebottle

It doesn't have to just be drowning bikini babes (who naturally aren't wearing bikinis to conform to HRASC standards) you can rescue - people who can't ski well are fair game too. smiley - winkeye


Be a lifeguard

Post 173

saffire

beautiful people who cant ski well of course...smiley - winkeye


Be a lifeguard

Post 174

tyran

On a helicopter?
Wouldn't the wind of the rotor blades lift up sand and snow storms, causing havok both at the beach AND the ski slopes and thus, creating more accidents?
Not to mention the fact that all those sandcastles and snowmen everyone likes to make will be flattened by said winds?
Plus, landing that chopper on a densely populated beach/slope might cause accidental dismemberment or decapitation by rotor blades...
That is why you need lifeguards... to save the lives of poor, hapless bikini babes/bikini skiers (sans bikini, naturally)...
Thus, the helicopter is more like the eyes of the lifeguard, not it's limbs...


Be a lifeguard

Post 175

TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund)

That sounds about right. OK, a beach rule: Any helicopters flying overhead are strictly forbidden from allowing their rotorblades to turn.


Be a lifeguard

Post 176

Bluebottle

Sounds fair to me... Just make sure they turn when they land.


Be a lifeguard

Post 177

tyran

That was easy then...
What's the policy on hovercrafts?


Be a lifeguard

Post 178

TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund)

Well....they're out in the sea, so I don't think they're much of a problem. As long as they're naked too. (Just like my poor, now silver, JCB).


Be a lifeguard

Post 179

tyran

Naturally, no paint jobs, and the babe sticker on the side is absolutely naked too... regulation compliant


Be a lifeguard

Post 180

TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund)

Oh, well, then, I'm sure there will be no problem at all. As long as it's not driven up onto the beach where it may knock down the sandcastles.


Key: Complain about this post

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more