H2G2 Waterworks: The River

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The H2G2 Waterworks

Running through the heart of h2g2 is a wide, deep river. It starts off at the Pond, flows through the Moxonwood forest before reaching the Municipal Park and goes out to sea by the Beach. There is a small, pleasant bridge that is is a popular footpath and cycleway. This is a traditional spot for Poohsticks

Bridge near the river's source in Moxonwood

The river has a small tributary that leads to the village of Vavoom.

Surfing down the river

You can hire out a splashcat, canoe, or other boats, at the Boat Yard. Or simply surf down.

Over the river at its deepest point is the impressive stone Dent Viaduct, part of the National H2G2 Railway. There is a station nearby where you can catch the train. The bridge is also regularly used for bungee jumping and the annual Birdman event.

If you are stuck on the wrong side of the river, and need to get across, we have a ferry service run by Inkwash. He takes passengers across, but the small fee, includes the telling of a story, which is well worth it.

Or, if you are bored, and there are no other people about, why not try skimming stones across? Just make sure you don't hit anyone!

The river's patrolled by the Lifeguards, too, in case anyone falls in and watching over anyone taking a dip. The water is even used by the Fountain in the square, so it's a handy river, really. It is perfectly Fish safe, although despite everything done to the contrary, the river always attracts a collection of shopping trolleys under the bridge. We assume they've been used in a game of Poohsticks.

2012 Water Games

h2g2 Water Games.The river - drawn by Amy The Ant

The River is a venue used in the 2012 Water Games. Events held so far include:

  • Poohsticks

    The classic sport played on the bridge over the river. According to Eeyore, the secret is to drop the stick in a twitchy sort of way.
  • Canoeing

    A simple speed sport involving paddling a canoe down the river to the finish line. Just try not to capsize!
  • Rowing

    A speed race. Each competitor is given a fox, a chicken and some grain and room in their boat for only one of the above. How will they get all three from one side of the river to the other?
  • Kayak Slalam

    Navigate the twists and turns of the exciting, bubbling rapids, hopefully staying upright. Just remember to stop before the river reaches the waterfall...
  • Bungee Jumping

    Entrants jump off the bridge and bounce up and down for a bit while waving, screaming and dropping their sunglasses.
  • Tug of War

    Two teams, one on each side of the river. The idea is to pull the other team into the stream, soaking them to the skin.
  • Fishing

    A sport where points are awarded not only for the size of smiley - fish caught, but also for the exaggerated tales of how big it was after.
  • Birdman

    The idea is to make a man-powered glider or bird costume, and jump off the bridge. The person who travels the furthest before plunging into the water wins!
  • Rope Swinging

    At the riverside by Moxonwood lies a tree with a branch over the river, from which dangles a rope. Contestants must swing on the rope Tarzan fashion and propel themselves into the water – the one flung the furthest wins.
  • Waterskiing

    Be pulled behind a speedboat at high speeds while performing stunts – either singly or as part of a group.
  • Team-Building Raft Construction

    Next to the river are various plastic barrels, rope, logs, planks, empty crates etc, which entrants must use to construct a raft which will float in the river. The winner will be the person who is considered to be the least competitive.
  • Rubber Duck Racing

    Everyone writes their names on the bottom of a rubber duck. These are released from the bridge, and the first duck to make it to the waterfall wins!
  • Hopscotch

    Playground game played on the stepping stones over the river – be warned, some of them wobble!
  • Bog Snorkelling

    A race in the marshy area up river, where participants propel themselves using only flippers.

Other places to go in the Waterworks:

Or look at the Map.

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