H2G2 Water Games

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h2g2 Water Games.
Welcome to the H2G2 Water Games – sponsored by the:
The Waterworks

First there was the Olympic Games1, then there was the Winter Games. Now, here comes the Water Games2 - all events take place on, in or near water!

  • Have You always wanted to take part in events like the Olympics, but inexplicably do not have the body of a world-class athlete?
  • Do You have an overactive imagination?
  • Have you ever wondered what would happen if there were sillier sports and events?

If the answer to the questions above is Yes, the H2G2 Water Games is for you!

Taking place across three great, World-Class h2g2 venues are a host of events, and sports that aren't found in the Olympics or Commonwealth Games, but perhaps should be. One new conversation thread representing a new event will begin in each venue each day for a Fortnight.

Gold Medal

At the end of this period, each event will have someone declared the winner, who will be awarded with a Gold Medal in a ceremony published in the Post.

Schedule of Events

  • Monday 30th July 2012
    • Beach:  Surfing

      Taking place around the cove is this popular sport in which participants try to impress with their stunning leaps, while others try to stand up on their board.smiley - surfer
    • River:  Canoeing

      A simple speed sport involving paddling a canoe down the river to the finish line. Just try not to capsize!
    • Swimming Pool: Freestyle Swimming

      The first event in the Olympic-sized swimming pool had to be swimming, and one competitor will win Gold. But is the idea to swim a single length as quickly as possible, or is it an endurance race? And did I remember to switch the pool's new Tsunami-strength wave machine off its timer?
  • Tuesday 31st July 2012
    • Beach:  Discus Skimming

      Like throwing a discus, but the aim is to see how many bounces you can get the discus to do when you skim it over the sea.
    • River:  Poohsticks

      The classic sport played on the bridge over the river. According to Eeyore, the secret is to drop the stick in a twitchy sort of way.
    • Swimming Pool:  Diving

      Jumping into the pool from up high with style – get extra points for doing a double-backward somersault through a hoop while whistling The Star
      Spangled Banner
      . Or for making a really big splash.
  • Wednesday 1st August 2012
    • Beach:  Beach Volleyball

      In many ways a spectator sport, this involves wearing skimpy outfits and hitting a ball over a net. A bit like tennis, only with skimpy outfits, no bats and a higher net.
    • River:  Rowing

      A speed race. Each competitor is given a fox, a chicken and some grain and room in their boat for only one of the above. How will they get all three from one side of the river to the other, without the fox eating the chicken or the chicken eating the grain, using only the boat?
    • Swimming Pool:  Water Polo

      A bit like football but in a deep pool, and with throwing the ball not kicking it. As Polo is a sport usually played on horseback, for water polo each player can ride a specially trained seahorse.
  • Thursday 2nd August 2012
    • Beach:  Treasure and exotic fish hunt

      Off shore is the wreck of an old, wooden pirate ship that is now home to fish of all shapes, sizes and colours, but the fabulous treasure is said to still be aboard. Can you find it?smiley - bluefishsmiley - orangefishsmiley - schooloffish
    • River:  Kayak Slalam

      Where the Vavavoom tributary meets the main river channel, it surges in a series of exciting, bubbling rapids. Navigate the twists and turns, hopefully staying upright. Just remember to stop before the river reaches the waterfall...
    • Swimming Pool:  Synchronised Swimming

      Swim, show off your legs and re-enact all your favourite Esther Williams moments with all your friends.
  • Friday 3rd August 2012
    • Beach: Equestrian

      Horse riding along the beach, through the foam, hurdling groynes3 while the Black Beauty theme plays in the background.smiley - pony
    • River: Bungee Jumping

      Entrants jump off the bridge and bounce up and down for a bit while waving, screaming and dropping their sunglasses.
    • Swimming Pool:  Battleships

      In the pool we've placed some model battleships and set up a 5x5 grid, from A1 to E5. Above the grid we've attached the pool's giant tipping bucket, which can move to each square and dump water on any boats below, sinking them. Contestants, in a room without a view of the pool, won't actually know where we've placed their boats and the grid they chose may well sink their own battleship.
  • Saturday 4th August 2012
    • Beach:   Beach British Bulldog

      Players must run between two groynes, which are safe areas, while those in the middle try to tag them, usually by lifting them up into the air for 3 seconds. When tagged, the contestants then become the taggers. The last person to be tagged is the winner.
    • River:   Tug of War

      Two teams, one on each side of the river. The idea is to pull the other team into the stream, soaking them to the skin.
    • Swimming Pool:  Towel Combat

      Whip the towels in this classic martial art.
  • Sunday 5th August 2012
    • Beach:  Wheelbarrow Race

      A two-person sport where one person lies down and moves their arms as if they were a barrow while the other carries them.
    • River:  Fishing

      A sport where points are awarded not only for the size of smiley - fish caught, but also for the exaggerated tales of how big it was after.
    • Swimming Pool:  Pool

      We have placed a snooker table in the pool, and contestants are asked to jump in and play pool in a pool. The table is submerged to halfway up the balls, which may influence their trajectory on the table.
  • Monday 6th August 2012
    • Beach:  Beach Cricket

      Wickets are set up on a sandbank just offshore - the boundary is marked by the water. The aim is to get through an entire innings before the tide comes in.
    • River:  Birdman

      The idea is to make a man-powered glider or bird costume, and jump off the bridge. The person who travels the furthest before plunging into the water wins!
    • Swimming Pool:  Watersliding

      If bobsleigh is a sport, then going down our extra-long water slide must be too – the fastest to the bottom wins!
  • Tuesday 7th August 2012
    • Beach:  Yachting

      Sail a boat around a course – first one back is the winner!
    • River:  Rope Swinging

      At the riverside by Moxonwood lies a tree with a branch over the river, from which dangles a rope. Contestants must swing on the rope Tarzan fashion and propel themselves into the water – the one flung the furthest wins.
    • Swimming Pool:  Water Cannon Shooting

      The old end-of-the-pier favourite. Aim the water guns at targets to inflate the balloons – the more balloons inflated, the more points scored!
  • Wednesday 8th August 2012
    • Beach:  Pedalo Race

      A race involving those peddle-powered boats, some of which are inexplicably shaped like swans.
    • River:  Waterskiing

      Be pulled behind a speedboat at high speeds while performing stunts – either singly or as part of a group.
    • Swimming Pool:  Long Jump

      Take a run up (carefully as the area around the pool can be slippy when wet), bounce on the diving board and then jump into the pool – the person who travels the furthest wins!
  • Thursday 9th August 2012
    • Beach:  Sandcastle Building

      Taking part at the bottom of Mount SandEverest, competitors are asked to construct sandcastles and sand sculptures.
    • River:  Team-Building Raft Construction

      Next to the river are various plastic barrels, rope, logs, planks, empty crates etc, which entrants must use to construct a raft which will float in the river. The winner will be the person who is considered to be the least competitive.
    • Swimming Pool:   Synchronised Diving

      Dive into the pool with a friend, and try and do exactly what they do.
  • Friday 10th August 2012
    • Beach:  Kitesurfing

      Use a parachute-like kite to pull yourself along the waves whilst doing stunts.
    • River:  Rubber Duck Racing

      Everyone writes their names on the bottom of a rubber duck. These are released from the bridge, and the first duck to make it to the waterfall wins!
    • Swimming Pool:  Quoits

      The classic game of ring toss where you score points by throwing the ring over a pole, only this version is played with the swim rings used to ride on down water slides.
  • Saturday 11th August 2012
    • Beach:  Being Buried in Sand

      A seaside classic, the twist being that participants must try to bury each other in sand.
    • River:  Bog Snorkelling

      A race in the marshy area up river, where participants propel themselves using only flippers.
    • Swimming Pool:  Doggy Paddle

      Unlike most swimming competitions which involve swimming lengths, swimmers must swim widths whilst doggy paddling.
  • Sunday 12th August 2012
    • River:  Hopscotch

      Playground game played on the stepping stones over the river – be warned, some of them wobble!
    • Swimming Pool:  Tanning

      Not so much an event, more lying down enjoying the sun. The perfect way to relax after the last fortnight's sport.
    • Beach:  Barbecue Relay

      The highlight of the Water Games. Each team is given an empty bread roll. They then have to run with this bread roll to a barbecue on the beach, where sausages are frying. You then have to put a sausage in the bun and run to the next barbecue, where onions are frying. Put the onions in the bun and run towards me, where I have the only bottles of ketchup, brown sauce and mustard – only I'll be running away. The first team to complete their smiley - hotdog and eat it wins!

To ensure you keep up to date with all the gossip and events taking place, join the Sign Up thread, where links to all events will be posted.

The Venues

Clickable map of the H2G2 Waterworks

The Beach

Here the sea is always warm next to the golden, 5-mile long sandy, sheltered coast. It is everything you could ever want out of the perfect beach, with sand perfect for riding horses on or building sandcastles with. Round the cove from where the river reaches the sea is a wilder, windy area where an off-shore coral reef creates perfect waves for windsurfing.

Here is the wreck of a pirate ship, now home to fish of all shapes, sizes and colours, but the fabulous treasure is said to still be aboard.

The Swimming Pool

Renowned for its large fun pool, where there are waterslides, wave machines, rapids, fountains, waterguns, large walk-through showers, tipping buckets, a hottub, diving boards - everything any swimming pool could want, including a poolside bar.

An Olympic swimming pool has been constructed next door, with a new diving complex too.

The River

A wide, deep river that starts off at the pond, flows through the Moxonwood forest before reaching the Municipal Park and goes out to sea by the beach. Over the river at its deepest point is an impressive stone viaduct. This not only carries the local rail branch line but also a footpath and cycleway. This is a traditional spot not only for pooh-sticks, but also for bungee jumping and the annual Birdman event.

The Map of The Waterworks And Surrounding Area

This map was drawn by
Amy The Ant and updated by Vegiman. Just click on the place you want to go.

Clickable map

The Waterworks |
The River |
Village de la Vavoom |

The Boatyard |
The Sea |
The Beach |
Mt. Sandcastle |
The Lifeguard Station |
The Coral Reef Cafe |
The Forum and Firkin |
The Public Toilets |
The Swimming Pool |
The Aroma Cafe |
The Fountain |
The Sewers |
The Library and Museum |
The Municipal Park |
The Fish Pond |

In The Post:

Other places to go in the Waterworks:
1The ones in Greece, obviously, not the modern games.2No official connection with the London Olympic Games is intended or inferred. The words 'Olympic', 'Olympiad', 'Olympian' and their plurals and things very similar to them are registered trademarks of London 2012 and in no way connected to this page.3Wooden fences on the beach, not to be confused with hurdling groins, which is an entirely different sort of sport.

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