h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

}Don't look at me, I'm just a Mew!{

Mew, can't you do fireball-ey sort of things?

(That's the problem with simulposts at the end of a section - the person whose post goes in second doesn't realise there's an extra post before them...)

*Rewires his snowzar, taking Irv's suggestion to reverse the polarity and attempt to melt the monster*

Let's try this. Can't hurt to try!

(At the sound of those words, Peet feels his old scars twingeing...)

*finally having cleaned the goo off of himself, Trilly and Lerc join the Jello beating forum once more*

No no no ... we have to win this one psychologically... all creatures fear their own mortality. For gelatine-based monsters, this means being eaten... right? Now we can't eat all this gelatine... but we don't have to... all we have to do is make it THINK its about to be eaten, and it should turn into a quiverring...no scratch that... well.. a gelatinous wreck.

Following me...? I'm certainly not..

The jello will fear anything associated with its eventual consumption. This can be summed up in two words...

Ice cream...

*bows to imaginary applause, Lerc sighs a cloud-like sigh*

Ithankyou, Ithankyou...

Well, if the Snowzar's not broken beyond repair yet, we have that plus some Yak's milk...

I have a short range flame thrower, but it's in the Chromemobile.
Wait -- I have a FunSize bag of nachos with me! *pulls them out*

Nachos and ice cream? No no no...*shakes his head*... If we were fighting maybe the Melted Cheese Beast of Corenitha... but everyone knows thats a legend...

The yaks milk! Perfecto! Nice one Peet... I was planning on gnustoing a gender change spell and forcing myself to lactate... but that obviously won't work!

Lerc: Brweee Bwap BINGLY Brweee

Indeed...

[HP}=~~

That eating thing might work. Unless its a suicidal monster, which is fairly unusual.

*Thinks of all of the things he could do with the gelatin monster*

You know, if some of you prepare the ice cream, I think that I'll threaten to make it jello soup (yes, you heard me-jello soup. A lot better than it sounds actually).

Now, we've gotten the soup and ice cream ready to go. Does anyone have any bowls or spoons with them?

We can clean out some of the many fire buckets

Yes, that would work! Now, does anyone have any eating implements? That would make us even scarier!

*Sees the newly formed nucleus. The monster begins to extend a tendril, but Affy shoots it with his OmeGaunlet, and freezes it. The ice slowly starts to melt*

Okay, let's hurry up with this idea! When that ice melts, we'd better be ready!

Eating utensils? Surely Chrome has his fork of destiny with him, don't you Chrome? And I'm sure my swiss army knife has something that could be used.

*Starts flipping open the various blades on the knife*


Well done, everyone!! This is much more fun now. And Peet - building up improbable solutions over many posts is brilliant - keep it up! Sorry for the rant back there.



I will be away for about a week. In the meantime, my body here will just follow you around.


Hey Affy. Got another wad of that gum? Unchewed, please.

*Takes large wad of gum from Affy and pops it in his mouth, rendering him speechless.*

Can I have the wrappers? They come in handy on occasion...

[YK] I think I know how to solve this. [to the jelly] Look, I'm sorry about hacking your nucleus to bits, I ... whoa!

[A pseudopod lifts YK up and starts whacking him around]

[Link] That might have been me! [another pseudopod grabs him] That's ALSO me!

[Pseudopods start grabbing at people]

* Peet is unimpressed.

"Doesn't it have any *REAL* pods?"

Would this set of jewel-encrusted ice-cream spoons I picked up as I was leaving the Dragons' lair be any help in the plan?

Sure, now let's make some ice cream.

*Cleans out the fire buckets, and puts them in place. He flips to two pages of his spell book, points at the yak, and recites two spells*

FRACTURN TINSOT!!!


*Moments later, there is a bucket of ice cream*

Okay, now what?

* Peet thinks:
"Hmmmmmmmmmmm, Ice Cream!"

*Begins to wonder how the heck he can eat jelly and ice cream with a fork. Even a Fork of Destiny would have a tough time. As he's wondering, a pseudopod sneaks up and swallows his feet. Chrome looks down.*

Uh-oh.........

*The jelly oozes up his legs...*

[Nerfal abruptly bursts in and starts blasting at the jelly monster, which grabs his blaster and eats it]

[Nerfal] Uh-oh.

[Nerfal gets grabbed by a pseudopod. BTW, they're wrapping around us, like tentacles. At least that's what I thought.]