h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* A jello tentacle works its way up Peet's leg, then, on encountering the battle shorts thinks better of it and retracts. The Jello monster shudders visibly...

[Mew is being held upside-down by a tentacle. He uses Blizzard, freezing a bit of it, which whacks Mew over -- er, under the head]

*Affy and GL, veteran of several monster fights in IF games, are also having some difficulties fighting the monster. Suddenly, Affy trips, and a tentacle zooms for his face. Affy quickly holds up the ice cream bucket, and some of the dairy product touches the zooming tentacle, which evaporates. Affy looks up*

Hey! This is working! Quick, make more ice cream!

*Affy begins throwing the ice cream at the monster, who is recoiling quickly*

Mew, freeze some more yak milk! Peet, get more yak milk! YK, while the monster's distracted, see if you can melt through that door, or something!

* Peet frenziedly starts milking all the Yaks. This comes as somewhat of a surprise to the male one.

*The jelly encircling Chrome's waist begins to tremble. With a slight yelp, it flees from his person. No more jelly strays near him.*

*Chrome tries to think what could have caused this. True, he hasn't changed since he was swept over the dam, and he is quite greasy .... grease .... that's it!*

Guys! Let's have a main course to go with this ice cream! Affy, are the probes aboard the Mangar still operational?

[YK is unconscious]

Yak milk is high in fat! That could be why the ice-cream causes it to react the way it does...

}What am I supposed to do, again?{

[YC, fortunately, isn't unconscious]

[YQ] Mew, freeze some yak milk!

[YC points his yellow-bladed lightsaber at the door]

[YQ] That's not long enough.

[YC] Oh yeah? Watch this.

[YC twists the handle of the lightsaber. The yellow blade turns deep blue and doubles in length, going right through the door]

Well, Chrome, the probes *do* work, I guess. Why? What're you thinking of?

*This said while Affy hides behind a small mound of ice cream*

[Mew uses Blizzard to freeze the Yak milk, which becomes ... frozen Yak milk]

(note that my earlier observation about the fatty nature of Yak's milk may actually render the freezing step unnecessary anyway...)

*Somewhere, several posts ago, Irving tripped and fell and hit his head again, on about the same part of his head that he hit WAY back at the beggining of this quest, if anyone remembers that far. So he was unconsious for the last five or six days, which was convinient, because his keyboard broke, and he couldn't get a new one until now. Again, convienently, he wakes up*

What? Who? Where?

*He is completely submerged in the Jello brand Gelitain Monster Prodcut by this point and, as a result, that sentence, not being very coherent to begin with, comes out more as*

Whaagh? Quhoo? Quhair?

*He suddently comes to the realization that he is in mortal perril, and panics. In so doing, he stands up, and brings his whole body, from the knees up anyway, completely out of the Jello. Apparently he wasn't in as deep as he thought*

Anything I can do, fellas? I'm afraid I don't have any dairy on me.

OK, here's my plan:
I was picked up by a Roc after being washed up near the Jungle of Miznia. I got the Chromemobile to rescue me, and it fried the Roc with a laser burst. Now if I can get a probe to pick up that Roc, we can smear ourselves in grease and get past it!

*Opens the diplomatic case, which has been handcuffed to his wrist ever since the team landed on Zork, and starts to fly a Mangar probe using the control module in the case.*

So, your answer would be, no, there's nothing I can do to help? Alright, is there anything you guys could do to help me? this stuff is crawling up my body... it's about up to my waist now.

[YK wakes up and sees, apparently, a load of Jello hanging from the ceiling and YC cutting the jelly up with his dual-phase lightsaber. He soon realizes that he is the one who is upside-down and attempts to rectify the situation with his lightsaber. He succeeds and hits his head in the jello]

*Which does absolutely nothing to help Irving, Who is now neck high in Jello*

[Mew telekinetically lifts Irving out of the jelly]

So now, Irving is hovering in midair unless otherwise stated...

Um... thank you, Mew. I suppose you could put me down somewhere sans Jelly -- gently if possible?

*thud*

Thanks, I guess.