h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[An orange portal opens, apparently leading to somewhere else in the upper atmosphere, and a space ship resembling a sort of cross between the Millenium Falcon and a paper airplane flies through.]

[As the Modulus passes through a portal, a column of flame appears, accompanied by ominous chanting, and a demonic creature that looks like a reject from Doom appears. It lets out an inhuman screech, which is abruptly cut off as it realizes it isn't wearing any pants. It hurriedly puts its hands in front of its groin and vanishes in another column of flame. Meanwhile, the portal has closed.]

[Yar] ... uh. Irv, could you have a look at my Improbability calculation algorithms?

I didn't notice anything anomalous, Yar, but I'll take a look. I was quite pleased to see that the pantless demon showed up at precisely 42 to 1 against. People tend to think that sort of thing is much less probable than it really is....

*turns his head after the Corvette*

Wow!

*realises that all his gear works perfectly*

I don't know what the algorithms looks like - but they worked like a charm on all this stuff

[Yar smirks] Heh, you'd think, wouldn't you? [frowns] Still, first that leakage, now the demon. I think there's some extra Improbability getting generated. Here, why don't you examine my code while I arrange the landing. [proffers Irv a generic sci-fi data pad]

*examines pad*

Um... what kind of brownian motion generator did you say you were using on this thing?

[Yar] Hmm? Oh, uh, that program's just for calculating what the improbability number *is*. The brownian motion is a simulation of a nice hot cup of tea that's constantly being ... simulated in one of the Bambleweeny 57 sub-meson brains.

[Sure enough, Yar appears to have introduced a bug which, by some quirk of the programming language and the way it reads the simulated tea, will add 42, 69, 105, or some factor or multiple of any of the above, to the final given level of improbability.]

Yar, you didn't do the math on these while the improbability generator was actually in use, did you? Because there's a bug in your code.

[Yar peers at the code] ... Oh smeg. Uh ... I'll fix that once we've landed. [goes back to operating the controls, bringing the ship in]

*snores against the window*

Oh it's no problem. I think I can take care of it.

*flips on improbability generator, does mental calculation and sets it to 42 less than what he would need for what he is about to do. The bug in the code materializes as an actual bug, which scurries out of the computer system and is promptly squashed by Irv's size 10 workboots*

[Yar lands the ship] Okay, we're now officially having shore leave for those who want to get off the ship and y'know buy weapons and stuff.

*Any passengers that exit the ship will notice a floating billboard. It flickers as though it hasn't been maintained in the best of operating order, but the advertisement can be made out.*

For all your travel needs... off planet and on.
24-Seven - The H2G2 Space Centre Convenience Store
A401239

*A buzzing emanates from the billboard and the illumination brightens.*

A401239

Hmmmmm - I suddenly got the idea there's a 24-Seven store nearby... Think I'll go stock up on some instant space filet mignon

[Yar] Sure, I'll be working on getting the leak fixed. I'll probably also shop around for some of the equipment I'll need ...

*having been skulking in the shadows until now, discreetly sneaks off the ship to examine the new surroundings*

[after what feels like three weeks' worth of effort] Yep, that's definitely gotten the leak permanently fixed! Anyway ... [goes off to acquire supernatural detection equipment]

. ... .supernatural being materializes near the fridge. ... .opens it and stands there idly scratching its methaphysical butt. ... .meditating on the contents... . .

What fridge?