h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Owowowowouch!

*Affy sets his snowzar*

On three. One, two,...

*The good guys run around the corner*

THREE!

*Everyone fires*

* Peet relaxes in the light snow flurries drifting round the corner, trying to ignore the shrieks, thumps and gurgles coming from the direction of the dragon...

Maybe I should have mentioned all the little baby dragons...

*GL, covered in green goo, aims at the dragon's mouth and is just squeezing the trigger, when he notices the little dragons and stops. He tenses, ready to fire again, almost squeezes the trigger, then lowers the snowzar. He just can't leave all the little ones motherless. Beside him, the others are doing the same. In between blasts of fire, GL can see that the dragon babies are sitting on a huge pile of treasure in the northwest corner of the room. The doorway that the group just came through is down a short passageway on the southwest corner of the room. The exit is in the northeast corner and mama dragon is in the centre of the room.*

Okay, guys. I'll create a diversion while you run for the exit.

*Without waiting for a reply, GL runs towards the babies. The mama dragon immediately rushes to head him off, leaving the centre of the room clear for the others to cross to the opposite door.*

*Affy runs across the room. Suddenly, in a burst of hunter instinct, one of the baby dragons lunges in front of the exit. Thinking quickly, Affy reaches into his pocket, and pulls out ten zorkmid coins. He tosses them into the air, and the baby dragons follow their natural instinct to get treasure. Affy runs through the exit*

GL, hurry!

*Affy wonders how long it'll take the dragons to realize that he swiped a ruby*

* Having caught his breath, Peet arrives and follows Affy, pausing momentarily to pick something up from beside the exit door...

*Seeing that everyone is safely through the room, GL crosses his finges and changes to wolf form. He breathes a sigh of relief as the first blast of fire fails to cook him. With his increase agility, he is able to dodge the swipes of the mama dragon's claws and work his way around her until he has a clear path to the door. He turns and runs as fast as his paws will take him. Just before reaching the door, the dragon's tail catches him a glancing blow that sends him head-over-heels out the door. When he comes to his senses and realizes he is safe, he changes back to human form. Unbuttoning his gooey shirt, he pulls out a jewel-encrusted chalis and grins *

Well, at least I got something for our troubles. Everyone okay?

*Starts picking at the goo on his arm.*

Anyone know how to get this stuff off?

No, I don't. By the way, while we were in there, I swiped this peice of paper from the treasure

*Irving reveals a map of the dungeon, detailing every single monster dwelling, booby trap, and other obstacle*

I think it may be usefull...

[Dragon] [in Draconic with English subtitles] Hey! They swiped a ruby and a piece of paper!

[two of the dragons start choking]

[Third Baby Dragon] [in Draconic, subtitled] I think they ate them.

[Dragon] [in Draconic, subtitled] That's the third time that's happened!!

[YK] [aside] Good thing the baby dragons ate those Spring Surprises I got from the Whizzo Chocolate Emporium...

I think, by the way, that Bludragon would approve of our approach to dragons in this adventure -- she wasn't mean, she just wanted to protect the kids!

I think, by the way, that Bludragon would approve of our approach to dragons in this adventure -- she wasn't mean, she just wanted to protect the kids!

}You posted that twice.{

[YK] Right, well can we get on with it? Some of us may have secret experiments going on ...

[YC] Yeah? Like who of us?

[YK] [face red] Well, ONE of us MIGHT!

[YQ] Thanks for the confession. We won't ask you the nature.


Any posts in which someone asks YK the nature of this experiment will be summarily ignored.

* The goo starts disappearing from Peet - he looks as surprised as everyone else about it...

Ahhhhh..., I think our invisible friend likes it - it probably tastes better than the burrito did, anyway!

* Peet blushes as the clean patch moves... downwards...

*Affy checks his spellbook*

The DRILBO spell removes wax from floors. That's the closest I can find to this. Lemme experiment on...you.

*Points at YQ*

DRILBO!

*Nothing happens. Affy pulls out a pen, makes some notations, calculates a few options, and points at YQ again*

DRALBOO!

*Nothing happens again. This process repeats itself about twelve times, until Affy gets it right*

DRACGOO!

*The goo vaporizes from YQ, leaving no ill side-effects. Affy grins, and casts the spell at everyone.*

Well, that was fun. Irv, let's see that map.

*Affy peers at the map in Irving's hand*

My, this is interesting. A secret passage that leads to the Jungles of Miznia. That's where we last received a signal from Chrome. According to the map, it should be that way...

*Points southeast*

...,guarded by a monster made of gelatin. Ooh, this should be fun.

Just keep trying the spell until you find the gelatin variant...

*Chrome is still suspended from the Roc's beak. He is being carried towards some ominous-looking mountains. He suddenly has an idea. Pressing a small button implanted in his wrist, he summons his ship, which was left behind with the Mangar. Presently, it can be seen speeding towards him. It fires a short laser blast, deep-frying the Roc instantly, before swooping down to catch Chrome in the open cockpit.*

That was close! Now, onwards!

*Sets a course for the team's co-ordinates, and flies off.*

Yes, but we are headed to the Jungles of Miznia to find you. After we get past the gelatin monster, that is.



So, it's off to see the jello, the wonderful jello of zork.


*Looks around and decides from the looks on the faces he sees that it might be better not to sing.*

I just want to point out that if anything anyone was previously wearing was made of brass, it has now melted...


Yes, the map has us going this direction. Affy, I'll be the navigator here. I *can* read a map you know.

*Irving looks visibly upset, knowing full well his skills as a navigator have been somewhat useless thus far*