h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[The Jedi swing their lightsabers around, knocking over the yak milk ice cream]

[YK] Ah, whoops?

[The jelly starts to dissolve in the ice cream]

*Affy, meanwhile, has spent the last four posts revising one of his spells*

BEBURTT!

*The illusion of a sky appears on the ceiling, and illusionary snow begins to fall. It doesn't harm the jelly, but it does make the jelly recoil in shock*

Mew!!

[YK] Mew! Use ... er, something on this jelly!

When can we be rid of the Jelly Problem? I'm bored.

OK, there's a hole in the ceiling where Chrome fell through... Mew can lift people telepathically... Mew, could you ferry us to the outside world, please...?

(Not a satisfying conclusion, but quick, and no jellies are harmed )

*stands proudly from the chaos, somehow he and Lerc are now wearing green berets and Trilly is holding a carrot in his mouth cigar-style*

Aaaah, I love it when a plan comes together....

Lerc: (butchest voice he can manage) Brweee Bap Pittythefoo, Brweee...

*stands on the highest rock he can find and addresses the jelly*

Now see here you... we're all tired of your relentless glooping... and since this is a U rated forum, we can't kill you.. so will you just stop giving us a hard time and MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!!!

Jelly: (suitable gloopy deep voice) sorry...

No problem

Jelly: I never meant to be a nuisance...

Its okay, really

Jelly: I just wanted the attention...

Don't worry about it

Jelly: My mother never paid attention to me as a liquid... she was never there to watch me set...

Oh...dear....

[HP}=~~

Theme from the "A" Team, played at varying speeds

Mew!

Er, Peet? Mew can't lift us through the hole, because it's not there anymore. However, since the jello seems to not be bothering us anymore, we can leave.

*Affy walks over to the door, no longer fearing the jello. However, right before he opens up the door, he looks at the giant ameoba thing. The jello isn't looking at Affy, but it is looming iritably close*

Er, would you like to join us? I think you might fit in back home, and...

JELLO-YES! I'll come! I'll be really helpful, and I'll clean, and...

Affy-Okay, fine...

JELLO-And I'll provide desert at parties...

Affy-No, that's okay, really, so...

JELLO-And then...

Affy-Be quiet, or it'll be a long trip home.

*Affy opens the door, desperately trying to figure out what he's going to do with a giant ameoba made out of jello when he gets back home. Then he steps through, and is teleported to the Jungles Of Miznia, as is the rest of his crew when they step through the door. Affy looks around at the scenery*

Okay, I know that waterfall. The remains of Thriff should be somewhere to the southwest of us, but that's for away from everywhere. We should probably head north.

*Affy looks north, an area where the jungles suddenly seems a lot denser*

[YK] Whew. Next problem.

Problem? Nah. Just watch out for any booby traps left by the natives. And the crocodiles. And the bloodworms. And any of the elemental spirits who've been wandering around this place ever since the Spirit Wrak incident.

*Affy heads north, slashing at the jungle with his sword. Then he slaps his head*

Chrome, could you get that Chromemobile over here to give us a lift? That'd probably make more since than us slogging through the undergrowth and eventually hitching a lift on one of the tourist gondolas.

[Link is the only one present who actually seems to fit in the surroundings]

What's that over there?

Ewww... I've never seen anything so... er... well...

[Sorry, Jelly - forgot to change the subject line!]

Look out, Chrome! I think it's going to... oops... too late...

*GL takes the wad of gum out of his mouth and puts it in a baggie, which he then puts in his pocket (you never know when you might need a big wad of gum)*

Hey Chrome! Look out for that mama hungus.

*Looks around to see why the hungus would be charging Chrome (hunguses, which are a cross between a sheep and a hippo, are normally shy and inactive, but will instantly charge if they perceive a threat to their family). GL notices a baby hungus behind Chrome; it is stuck in the mud. Chrome has no way to get out from between the mama and the baby, now that the mama is charging along the path towards him.*

Well, we have about 10 posts to do something to save Chrome. Any ideas?

[YK] We could get it done in one post!

[Nerfal] That's not an option.

[Link] Let's see, if I were to use a hookshot ...

We could have Jello rescue the baby (I think he could stretch that far), thus saving the baby from harm, and gaining the trust of the mother. Or we could do what you have to do in Beyond Zork...

*Looks at the giant jewel in his hands, wondering if he could live with giving up the treasure*

}What's that?{ [meaning, what we do in Beyond Zork]