h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Runs out of a nearby thicket. His clothes are torn, and he is staggering slightly.*

Wow-ee, that was one wild ride!

Why "The Illuminyte Problem"? What problem? Is the subject alluding to something we don't know about yet? When do we get back to the space battles?

Because Affy was worried about the Illuminyte. I hope not. When we get to the Mangar and the Rodentar system.

Hey, it's not like I'm going to become possessed by the Illumynite. I'm much too strong of a mage to let *that* happen again...

Anyway, the way back to the nearest point that we can have a scout pick us up to take us to the Mangar is...that way.

[YK] Let's go then.

* The party exchange glances, then head off in a direction directly opposite to the one Affy pointed in...

[Link pops back in, grabs Affy, and pulls him along]

[Mew decides to hover in midair and say, "Mew"]

Mew!

> Time passes

The party eventually reach the pick-up point without incident. There is nothing even vaguely threatening here, and transport is called for, again without incident. It arrives, and everyone gets on board, once more without incident. (Apart from the brief scuffle over who got to sit in the front. Oh, and the accidental firing of a half-charged blaster during the struggle. And the "small accident" that was inevetable when trying to pack several overfed yaks into a cramped space. And Affy's unexplained decision to lock all weapons on a small white house as we took off while repeating "Grue, Grue, Grue" and juggling three steel ball bearings in his left hand.)

*Affy shakes his head, and stares at the ball bearings. He drops them, and looks out the window. The scout ship is practically at the Mangar where, unknown to the crew and the other life-forms picked up during the course of the voyage, Montressor is waiting to pounce on the first red-suited extra who goes to see what's wrong with the equipment that STUMPED sabotaged. Affy sighs. He wonders, once again, about the Illumynite, but decides that the Illumynite won't be as powerful as The Cluster, and won't be able to possess anyone. Besides, with a few good experiments, he may be able to use the Illumynite to enhance his magical abilities. The scout lands, and everyone boards the Mangar*

[YK] Uh-oh. I feel a disturbance in the --

[Montressor jumps out and brains Ensign Weatherspoon]

[YK] -- force.

* wandering nonchalantly into engine room...

Hey, guys, the computer says we can't take off because of a broken power transmogrifier in the thrust reflux diaphram. I'd better fi-Holy Zarquan, Singing Fish!

* Ducks as most of Ensign Witherspoon is tossed throuth the space where his head was an instant earlier...

Oh no, it's that bloody robot again!

[Mew plays with Montressor's mind until it is convinced that it is knee-deep in fish. Montressor attempts to wade, missteps insanely, and falls over with a crash. Mew then proceeds to negate all sources of power in Montressor.]

[YK] Wew ... I've never seen 'im do THAT before!?

[gravely] Mew. [cute giggle]

* Looking a little glazed

Hey - where did all these fish come from?

HEY - WHAT'S THAT SMELL DOWN THERE?



Well, good thing the bad guys went to all that trouble to set up Montressor. What a battle that was, eh? We sure had a good time figuring out how to deal with him. And I bet the bad guys had fun participating in this thread again. Oh wait. They didn't, did they? Maybe they blinked and missed the long, protracted battle. Oh well, I guess they will just have to wait until we get to the Rodentar system. Hope they pay attention, or else they could find themselves and all of their fleets wiped out in a single post.

[I'm hoping he's just playing dead - I've been setting him up since the first big battle...]

[Montressor gets up, grabs Mew, and throws him across the forum]

[YK] Uh-oh.