h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Professional opinion as a warp field engineer (lapsed)]

Buggered if I know... Isn't the point that if we use the I.I. drive, we end up going to both, simultaneously, plus everywhere else too...?

[Continuity]If we *do* resort to using the Infinite Improbibility drive, do we all have to synchronise our watches and perform a mass simulpost?

}Er, no. I wanted us to be able to describe silly things happening, like 100,000 gallon vats of custard upending themselves.{

{Continuity}Don't we do that anyway?{/Continuity}

I speck.


[YK] Hylia or Rodentar?

[Navi] {Hylia!}

[Nerfal] Rodentar!

Um, did anyone fix that thing that was broken near where Montressor was hiding? Seems to me that we can't go to either place until it is fixed. I hope we have a spare whatever-it-was.

That, and has anybody seen Montressor lately? A fly-sized Montressor could do a lot of damage inside delecate engine equipment...

Oh, and don't forget the man-size fly. If we train it it might come in useful; after all, I haven't seen any toilers on the Esirpretne yet!

I hate to think of what could happen if it decides to alight on the huge Jello(tm) monster. What happened to him, anyway?

[ooh, evil backlog...]

Mew!

*Looks around to see the big fly buzzing around the jello monster, trying to land and lick up some jello. The jello monster distractedly tries to swat it with jelly protuberances, like a horse tries to swat flys with its tail. GL wonders how to go about training a fly, then remembers some of the spells that Affy might know:
vaxum - make hostile creatures friendly (from Enchanter)
nitfol - converse with animals (from Enchanter)
liskon - shirink a living thing (from Sorcerer)*

Hey Affy - Peet is right. The fly could come in handy for something. Think you can tame it?

The "liskon" one sounds interesting - is it suitably temporary? We could shrink the fly to...well...fly-size, let it loose on an enemy vessel, then just wait for the spell to wear off...

Yahh! Yah! Get off! You'd better tame it soon, Peet!

Oughtn't we start a new forum once we leave the planet?

Yup.

The shrinking creature spell is temporary, yes. Usually lasts between twenty minutes and five hours, depending on several factors (strength of the enchanter, knowledge of the enchanter, temperature, continuity, etc.), but we could probably use it for that.

And as far as I know, Montressor is still frozen.

*Scans the floor, and sees a very slowly defrosting Montressor on the floor. Picks up the robot, and puts it into an bottle made of Adamant*

That'll hold 'im until we can think of something better to do with him. Oh, and for the fly...

GL, there is one other spell that might be handy. In the Zork Nemesis manual, it makes a vague reference to a spell called Ghell-oo, which is supposed to suspend a creature in a gelatinous substance. That might be helpful.

*Wonders how long he should simply debate saving Chrome before actually getting around to it*

Oh, and someone from engineering, go fix the Transmogrifier. We'll need it for when we try to leave Zork.

It might be amusing to cast Ghell-oo on the Jello(tm) monster, just for the fun of it...

[Mew goes and fixes the Transmogrifier, however the hell you spell it]

[YK] Right then! Will we be going to Hylia or Rodentar? I'd really like an answer to that...

Probably.

}I'm inclined to go to Hylia. I wonder what's there.{