h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey, wait a sec, we're not in the forest anymore? I could've sworn that we were...anyway, if we're not, we need to go there, because that's where the time tunnel is.


*Looks at the time tunnel*

Link, ever had your spirit pulled out of your body and sent through time? That's what going through a time tunnel is like. I've only been through four myself. This one, a tunnel that led from a Monastery to a seaside village, a tunnel that went from the inside of someone's wardrobe to a very large island which turned out to be a dragon, and a tunnel that went from Hades to the White House of Zork. These can be fun, but dangerous.

*Looks around at anyone still in the forum*

Anyone up for a little temporal meta-physics? I am...

*The probes, on hearing the pretty neat music Link pointed out for us (I'll be blown if I know what it's from though), begin to swerve around bit, in time to the beat.*
*Probes, God knows why, like music...*

What the heck are you doing!? Get back to work!

*The Professor hits the console he's infront of with his fist, which promptly turns purple, and the Computer takes control of the probes again...*

Well, at least I've got info on those tunnels now...cheers Affy...

*studies it...*

Hmmm...sounds very edgy to me. I'll leave them alone, or at least place a probe-guard around one when I find it...

Oh dear, symlpost...
Yeah, I'm always up for a bit of physics, be it meta or otherwise...

*Affy has been studying the tunnel for several minutes now. He hears something very distant, a familiar something that makes his ears twitch*

Eh? The Guncho spell?

*Listens very carefully, and he can definitely hear the Guncho spell from the time tunnel. In fact, he hears his own voice casting it, even though it doesn't finish*

Hmmm, this could be strange. I've not used the Guncho spell in a long time. Not since my fight with Krill. If Krill ever found h2g2, that'd be a pretty climactic disaster. But he's gone, so what are the odds of...

*A sudden memory hits him. He thinks back to the first days of his mission on the Mangar. Red mentioned a warlock paying STUMPED handsomely in exchange for halting the delivery of the piece treaty. The way that various members of STUMPED knew exactly where to go in many instances. Several references that The Krylma Leader used while Affy was a symbiote with him. Affy slaps his head*

Oh, this is bad. Krill's back. And he's in h2g2. Krill's...Krill...

*Affy goes to lean over a tree*

Maybe this tunnel is something he made. Then again, maybe I'm just being pessimistic. But still, it needs to be investigated.

*Affy mutters to himself, trying to remember the Yastard spell*

Link, I might need a little help on this one, and GL's gone for the time being. Still, if you've got buisiness elsewhere, I'd understand. Besides, no need for you to get involved with old buisiness of mine, especially since this is your forum, and I've not right to make this the plot. In any event, I'll let the choice be up to you.

We could make this a Dungeon. I'm making an RPG out of this forum on my computer. This dungeon will end with us fighting the Time Tunnel itself. Er, I'll need physical descriptions of Affy and Chris: hairstyle, hair color, what they're wearing, etc. I imagine Chris to be a blonde-haired guy with a lab coat. Am I close?

Oh, and Chris? The music is the Death Egg Zone music from Sonic&Knuckles.


[Link smiles oddly]

[Link] Yeah, I've had that happen.

*The Professor sees how this whole business could turn nasty, and sends a group of probes to Affy...*




*The probes fly up a bit, out of Affy's direct range of vision...*

*Affy thinks to himself*

Well, I suppose a few of these probes might be handy in some events, but I don't think they'd be of much use against Krill. No technology could be proofed against the kind of magic that *he's* got. But still, I wonder...

Okay, probes, come along. Er, wait, you'll probably want to stay near me upon entering the tunnel. I don't know if you've got enough of a soul to survive this trip, so you'll have to be anchored by either myself of Link.


To get a description of what Affy looks like, go to either the Aroma Cafe Float or the Crater Labs, Inc. Float. Both can be seen from Lil's Atelier.

Got it.


[Link] Well, let's go. You ready?

[Saria] Um, yeah.

Hold it!

*...shouts the Professor on the Station...*

Let me do something up here first...

*He runs out of the comms room where he was, through half of the Station, and enters the Dimensional Matrix biPasser main control room. In here is a brand new control console linked directly to The Space Between Dimensions (see my first adventure thread on U161497). It's still under tests, but if something can be placed in the Space, i becomes a constnat, and cannot be denied. Hence, the Professor's goal here is to simply monitor his probes' progress through the Time Tunnel, without getting mixed up in it himself...*
*He flicks on the console, sets up some doohickeys, and tells the probes he's ready...*

Okay, then. In that case, let's go.

*Affy casts a Yastard spell first at Link, then at Saria, then at himself. All three of them feel images of themselves left behind as they fall into the tunnel. Saria, Affy, Link, and the probes spin through a pitch black space, until there is a bright flash of white light, and they stand in a big mauve nothing, with several distant stars and constellations*

This is Backstage H2G2. Like I said before, this place can change a lot. Something like trying to backtrack in a foggy marsh, but not as dangerous. But as long as we don't stray too far from our general area, we should be okay. There's the time tunnel over there.

*Goes over to a squiggly blue line of energy. He mutters another incantation at it, causing it to spin open, revealing swirling blue patterns of energy*

I'll let everyone catch their breath before cotinuing.

*The probes of course have no need to breathe, but they take this opportunity to have a look around...*



Affirmative, I can hear your comms perfectly. God I love this Apace Between Dimensions!

*The probes indicate that they are ready to proceed...*

/* Still in the forest, d'Elaphant catches up with Zeppo */

There you are! Bad dog!

/* Zeppo looks at d'Elaphant, then at the leash, then jumps into the time tunnel not a moment too late. His antlers have now spun around completely, so they are pointing down. */

*Meanwhile, Violets has led Lil down to the riverbank*
*There is a fairly well defined trail that hasn't been used for a while, possibly a legacy of the rat-ant nest that used to be nearby*
*Lil hears a distant shout and occasional snatches of distant discussion, and once she could swear she felt a football-size thing whizz by, making her hair fly about, but she is focussed on taking care of Violets, not getting enmeshed in anything unpredictable*

Dang, Violets, have you ~thought~ about how you're going to get home? You've been heading downhill since you left the veranda, but when you -- oh!

*The trail has led to a dock at which is moored a ferry-raft, facing upstream, starboard side to the bank. At the bow is a raised seating area surrounded by louvered glass, accessed by a small staircase behind. Over the seating area is a small dome with what is evidently some sort of navigationbot. Amidships the ferry is open, with a cargo hatch set in the middle of the deck and a wooden bench along the port rail. Everything is either highly varnished wood or bright white and yellow paint. At the stern is something like a little poop deck except that it also reminds Lil of a window box, because, planted in the middle, right behind the traditional wheel, is a very large venus flytrap with three heads, each with a goatee*

*A sign over the poop deck reads:
CAP'N FLYTRAP'S FAMOUS FERRY
*

*Violets flips a runner all the way out to the port rail, gets a grip, and hauls herself on board without missing a beat*
*Cap'n Flytrap grins with all three heads -- indeed, he leers*

Wow! I never heard of it, but this looks very cool indeed.

*Lil is about to follow Violets but is stopped at the gate by a date palm*

*The probe following Lil multiplies itself at this point, each of the new five probes darting around the ship...*
*After recieving the data from the probes, the Professor determines that, though he can detect through magic, or indeed majic or majik, this ship was not found here before. He marks it as 'Hazardous & Unpredictable' in the Space Station databanks...*

[Saria] This is ... strange.

[Link] I'm used to it.

[Saria] What? When?

[Link] It's got to do with the Master Sword. I'll explain later. Anyway, I'm ready.

[Saria] Me too. Let's to it again!

*Affy keeps glancing at the probes, nervously. He wonders if he should mention what Zork atmosphere has been known to do to technology, or what Zork people have been known to do to technology. Decides against it, and and casts the Yastard spell at everyone again. Once again, they feel as if their spirits were being ripped from them, and sent through the tunnel*

*When they arrive on the other side, they are in a very dark zoo-like place, with cages containing several strange creatures. A cage marked "Dorn-Beast" contains a very large quadroped with 69 very dangerous looking eyes, that can't see out thanks to a reflecting shield. Another sign says "Eldritch Vapors", and the cage contains several bottles of a strange white mist. Yet another sign says "Grue", and the cage is pitch black, with no light able to come in. Sinister gurgling noises can be heard from within it. In a far corner of the room is a large cage with a sign saying "Rat-ant" by it. This cage is broken. Affy looks around the room*

These are definitely Zork creatures. Let's look around, but be careful. If any other monsters are loose, they could be deadly. Anything from Aliens to Zeke's Zany Zebras couuld be lurking in the shadows...

*Affy draws his sword, which is glowing a bright blue. Not surprising, considering all of the animals around him*

*The probes of course are having some difficulties adapting to the new climate and atmosphere...*








Acknowledged probes, I'm calculating it for you...

*After a few moments, the Professor transmits the new codes directly to their dimension...*

/* Zeppo barks tentatively at the animals in the cages, while staying safely behind Afgncaap5 , tail between his legs, one paw raised slightly. */

[Link] Yow!

[A rat-ant jumps at Link, who Z-targets it. So does Saria, who is doing her best to keep out of its way. Link attacks it with his sword, and hopes Affy does as well]

*As Lil watches, the date palm kicks the gate shut and casts off*
*Does Violets wave or flip her the bird? She was always ambiguous toward humans.*

*Lil throws the tupperware bowl at Violets but misses, and is rewarded with 5 wide grins, as the ferry begins to distance itself from the shore. She watches it glide silently upstream*

Well! There's one less heavy object to maneuver around the veranda.

*Masking hurt feelings, Lil turns and heads back up the trail, belatedly wondering where everyone else has got to*