h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Anyone care for some coffee while I try to revive Saria?
(passes out )

[Link takes a sip and Saria wakes up]

[Rodrigo] That was quick.

[Sagittarius] I don't think George had anything to do with it.

Now (to Saria) how did you come to be a tree infested with rather nasty spider things, a lady with red eyes, giant boulders, red mushrooms, a bird-woman, and a talking china cabenet?

Ghoma isn't a 'lady'! It doesn't even RESEMBLE a humanoid in any way! Ghoma is a humungous spider-like monster whose curse infested the Great Deku Tree in "The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time"!


[Saria] I ... don't know ... what you're talking about.

[Rodrigo] I don't either.

[Sagittarius] I wouldn't mind an explaination, either.

[Link] And what happened to your Guardian Faery?

[Navi] Hey! {I think I know what happened!}

[Saria, Rodrigo, Sagittarius, Link, and I suppose George if he wants] Then explain it, for [insert name of deity-of-choice]'s sake!

[Navi] {Okay. Let's see.}

{First, Saria was teleported to Professor Kramer's lab by that ghost-thingumy. She then blasted her way out and was teleported to this weird energy dimension where she fought a bizzare entity named Spacetime.}

{Spacetime's destruction brought about a release of magic energy, which vaporized Saria's faery and gave the Majic Forest some indigestion, so to speak. It turned the energy into a tree, which was the only way it could deal with this. Saria was tangled up into that energy, so she became the tree, if you know what I mean.}

{The Forest also gave it a safety mechanism. If the tree was to be "removed", it would have to solve that puzzle. When the tree was "removed", all its magic energy went into Saria, who can deal with it because, interestingly, she has one-sixth the necessary magic ability to contradict the Triforce of Power.}

[Link is the only one who doesn't seem surprised by this last bit. Saria looks like she has a bad feeling in her stomach]

*Krill is standing off to a side while Affy frantically works on something, for some reason refusing to either aid of hinder Affy's progress*

Krill-You're messing with continuity.

Affy-Only if I mess up.

Krill-The chances of you messing up are good.

Affy-No they aren't. If the Dragon Riders of Pern could do this, why can't I?

Krill-Who?

Affy-Never mind.

*Affy continues working on something*

Krill-How many people do you really think will stand for this?

Affy-When they discover my reasoning behind it, they won't mind. Messing around with history is only bad if it has a negative impact on someone's present or future.

Krill-How do you know this won't?

Affy-Careful calculations...

As long as it doesn't affect any of my characters, I'm okay with that.

Here, (to Saria) have a mint. It will settle your stomach. If you have to puke, have this complimentary air-sickness bag with my blessing.

I've just read most of the backlog accumulated from before h2g2 was down. Boy, it's a lot.
I understand so much more now that I've gone over it again. For instance, I realise that the whole purpose was to set up an RPG, whereas last time I had only realised it about half-way through.
Oh, and if you all look back, you'll see that George here is the one who (as only a user number and no name) did something with my probes and a random telephone booth.

So then, there were three parts, I remember, to this adventure:
1) Saria's part, where she had to find out about Professor Kramer;
2) Link's part, where he had to save her;
3) and Affy and the Professor's part where they save the Universe and aid Krill doing so.
The first two plots now seem to have merged, and my part in the third plot seems to have finished (at least until I can remember the plot I had in mind to perform after my job with Krill was done).

Just as a question, YK: are you still using this as an RPG, or are you starting anew? Or are you doing both this and the one mentioned in the other forum?

Now, this ALWAYS happens: I got distracted from THAT project and started working on another one.

Say, George, I'm making an H2G2 RPG, starring Affy. YOU wanna be in it?

Sure, why not. Can it involve ghosts and castles and secret passages? I love stories like that. Oh, and can the castle be furnished in late Victorian style with big, dark velvet drapes and lots of wood paneling? Oooo...

Not really. Er, just go here. http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F25788?thread=102471 And, Affy? Howabout you come upon us shortly from now?

I have this Idea for a story that would be really fun for a mystic adventure. The story involves reverse werewolves (wolves that turn into people at night), the inhabitants of a small city called Krenn (The city is really small, but is full of six-story stone buildings like Paris, with an enormous castle on the outskirts), and, of course, a forest (as beautiful as it is deadly) filled with ferns, frogs, and night birds, all illuminated by the full moon, which sets the atmosphere alternately midnight-blue or deep-jade.
The wolves are gray wolves, larger than normal, which transform into humans between the age of twenty and fourty years (that’s the human’s age, not the age of the wolf), and are either male or female. Some of the reverse werewolves are evil, luring unsuspecting denizens into the forest where they are eaten. Other reverse werewolves are good, trying to become human again. We must help them (the good ones, I mean).
The picturesque landscape in which our tale takes place is the Valley of Forever Night (not eternal night, just that the days are unusually shorter than ten hours and the nights are fourteen hours long). The governing family of the City of Krenn, the Canterwells, live not in the castle, but in a separate mansion in town. Local lore tells that the castle is haunted by members of the royal court, who were all killed accidentally in an experiment by a witch named Apenhaus who believed she would be able to cure the reverse werewolves with the proper spell from the Library of Krenn (a frighteningly gothic building housing hundreds of spell books and scrolls). However, Apenhaus was turned to stone by her last experiment, and the ghosts hid her statue somewhere in the castle.
The scene begins with a red and black coach knocking against rocks and trees as the coachman drives the two white horses towards the welcoming lights of the city at a frightful speed. Behind the coach, eight gray wolves thunder through the underbrush. With a loud crash, the carriage drives off the road and through an old wooden fence. The wolves stop at the edge of the forest and watch the coach enter the city. The coach stops in front of a tavern called La Belle et La Bête. A woman in a blue dress strolls out and to the coachman who is just getting down.
"Visitors from some foreign land?" asks the woman coyly, peering into the carriage windows.
"No, no, just some more books for the Library. That is the last time I’m making the trip at night." Says the coachman gruffly.
"Oh, poor baby. Let me make it all better." she lures him towards an alley. Once out of sight, he pulls his jacket off. She kisses him, folds down his collar and licks his neck.
Suddenly, her fangs rip through the flesh of his neck. With no throat, he us unable to call for help. Before him stand a group of figures, waiting for a hunk of his fatty flesh. His eyes close slowly. Fade to black...
Scene 2 begins in the town square. Our heroes have assembled again to rid this land of darkness. A short man with glasses runs past them and into a dark, gothic building. Looking around the square, we see that several shops are still open. George walks towards 'Madame Xima’s Tarot Readings'.
A very atmospheric gypsy fortuneteller sits at a table in front of a deck of cards. As our heroes enter, she stands, and quickly sums up the above information and recalls the events of last night’s attack.
"Your objectives," she begins, "are to recover the statue of Apenhaus, find the proper magic spell at the Library of Krenn to bring her back to life, discover the means to save the reverse werewolves and return them to normal. Ask me more."
(Now that I’m better at this game, I will be playing the parts of the Fortune teller, Mr. Marsters (the short man with glasses at the Library), the Squire (one of the Castle ghosts), and a few others as the game proceeds. Let's play!

George, let's finish with Link's Majic Forest adventure, first.

And take your idea to the H2G2F4. (A link's on my page.)

<>Thanks. I posted it as 'The Great Werewolf Caper'. I think it will be interesting.<>

Anyway, what's left to do here? Find Prof Kramer?

[Link] That, and turn him into mincemonster. Now, where should we find him ... Navi, help me out here. To find Kramer, we need to think like Kramer.

[Navi] [into Link's ear] {I'm a bald-headed weirdo who always wears a lab coat, even when going on expeditions or fighting adventurers --}

[Link] Of course!! The old Rat-Ant pond! Let's go there!

Pardon me, but why would rat-ants ba around a pond?

[Link] Because the Rat-Ant nest here got flooded by [ahem] a rat and an ant.

[They head for the Rat-Ant pond]

When we reach the Rat-ant pond, how will we fing Prof. Kramer?

[Link] I have no idea! I just have a feeling that when this is all over, we'll get a bill from Plot Devices, Inc.

[Sagittarius] If nobody minds, I'll head off in another direction. I've got something else planned. [jumps off the bath and disappears into the woods]

Off to the pond then. Let's all wear these protective rubber boots and mosquito netting helmits.