h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi, sorry about being so late but I forgot my password and had to register under a different name. Anyway, we're still in the tree and the red-eyed 'person' is dead. How can we turn the tree back into a 'person'? I still have those red mushrooms from under the stone downstairs and now I have brewed a nice pot of .

Nice to have you back, George.

[Link] Okay. Now the Ghoma's dead.

[Sagittarius] What now?

[Link] [shrugs] I guess we keep going up.

[Sag] We seem to have run out of up.

[Link] Look there!

[Link points to a hole in the side of the tree, leading out of it]

[Link] We go out there and continue climbing up.

I note here that I've finally played Majora's Mask (having bought the Expansion Pak [oh sorry, is that a trade mark, moderator?]), and it's darn good too.
What I wouldn't give for a Fierce Deity's mask in this battle.



*The Professor is currently running for his life. After having lost the can he needed to spray the big sphere, but will find useless on the smaller ones, he tries ducking behind another large boulder.*
*He begins to tap his Watch...*

Hey! What's wrong with you? Speak up, you dratted machine!
Fine, so the screen's up, and I can telep-... Yeah, I'll teleport!

*He steps out from behind the rock again, and watches as his sphere closes in on him. At the moment the sphere comes to touching him, he teleports away.*

*Well, he would have, only he only sort of fades from view, another image of him appearing a few metres away.*

Gah! I'm stuck in the Alpha Wave! I can't materialise!



The Alpha Wave is an energy plane (not a wavelength in the e-m spectrum, as it sounds like) where matter is tranfered by teleportation. Matter would usually reintergrate at the point designated by the teleporter device, but if something comes in its way, the matter is stuck in the Wave until the teleporter device in question sets a new target. Of course, it never helps if the teleporter device was part of the matter being moved...



*As the Professor looks around frantically at himself, and himself at himself on the other him, he fails to notice the sphere pass right through his first position...*

Since we are going to climb outside the tree, I suggest we wear harnesses and connect to eachother with ropes. I am an force of safety.

<>

Now that we're all harnessed, we can climb out through the hole.

*Affy notices Chris' plight, and points accusingly in Tonks' direction*

Now look what you've done now, "Mr. Too-Powerful-For-My-Own-Good"! Tonks is stuck!

*Affy's evil twin looks away from Affy and at Tonks just long enough for Affy to cast the Snavig spell. The evil twin turns when he feels the spell's energy, and recoils to see that the real Affy has transmogrified into an exact duplicate of himself*

Same powers, same strength, same fancy bio-enhancements...I would be exactly equal in strength to you, if it weren't for the fact that you were wounded.

*A haunted look comes over EA's face as RA casts two spells at the twin Tonks. One begins glowing, and the other seems to have turned into the ghostly image of a bat*

RA-I'll get you out next post. These brief changes in appearance are necessary, though...

*Both Tonks' look at the changed Affy, and goggle.*
*They then look on in horror as Affy casts the spells on them.*

*The consequence being that the one Tonks has to shield his eyes from the brightness of himself (and hence with no great advnatage, as his arms are glowing too), and the second Tonks begins making ultrasonic noises as he tries to get his bearings.*
*The Professor is not accustomed to being blind. *

[Link] Thanks. Okay, now we go up.

[They start going up. A spider-like creature stares down at them]

[Link] Oh, jeez, a skullwalltulla! [draws his sword] I hate these guys! Especially when they're on the same wall as I am!

[Sagittarius] Thank you, George, for your harnesses.

What is a skullwalltulla? How did it get here? Maybe if we circle around it...

*Affy casts two spells at the same time: a giant fireball at EA, and the Maxov Spell (bind energies of different magics) at Tonks. EA ducks away, albeit slightly singed, and the energies of different magics that Affy wove into Tonks' being for the briefest moment merge, causing the two Professors to merge. To make sure that Tonks ceases to resemble a glow in the dark manbat, Affy casts the Kulcad Spell, thus dispelling the Frotz and Fweep spells, causing Tonks to be perfectly normal*

*Meanwhile, the EA has drawn a ridiculously large sword, and charges RA while his back is turned*

[SKULLWALLTULLA: A large, spider-like being with markings on its back resembling a skull. It climbs around on walls. The best way to attack it is from off the wall it is on, since attacking anything requires to have hands free, and ...]

[Link] [switching off his copy of the Guide] Whatever! [brandishes his sword]

If I remember correctly, the little monsters also turn blue when they see you and charge at you, knocking you off the wall. Then again, no sensible traveller would take to climbing a wall before destroying the spiders.



*Upon the Professor's reintergration at his desired tele-reciept point - albeit in slightly different fashion than that which he is accustomed to - he waves a hand at Affy in acknowledgement of his help.*
*Turning his head around, he sees the sphere that was following him quite far off in the distance, evidently having strayed off-course whilst not being able to detect either of the two Tonks'.*
*Determined not to teleport again, the Professor begins searching for high rocks, and climbs them, with the intention of getting to a very high area above the EA... Even though he doesn't know what he's going to do when he gets there.*

[The harnesses should take care of that.]

[The Skullwalltulla turns blue and charges at Link, who slashes at it. Not prepared at all for this, the Skullwalltulla rears backward, loses balance, and topples off the side of the tree]

[Link] Huh. That's got rid of that.

[Strange groaning noise]

[Link] What's THAT??

*Affy's sword glows a brilliant blue, and surrounds Affy with some kind of shield. EA hits the shield, and is instantly engulfed in an energy field strong enough to power Chicago for a week. A sword slash later, and EA is lying on the ground, attempting to stand back up. For some reason, Affy pulls out his Jar Of Reflection. This also appears to have changed, however, for it instead resembles a large block of pinkish marble. Affy concentrates on it for a moment, and several mirrors appear in various places around EA*

[Link & co. continue up the tree]

Ooooh...look at the size of that bird! (points to large, rainbow colloured bird in the sky) Do you think I should fly up to the top of the tree and set a grappling hook and drop the cable to you? I could...

[Link] Um, maybe. Go ahead.

*EA groggily stands up, and sees a bolt of energy being hurled in his direction. The doppleganger easily reflects the blow away*

EA-You really think it'll be that easy, don't you? You may be further from death than I, but as long as I see my attack, I can meet the challenge.

*RA sends two other bolts of energy that just narrowly miss EA, bounce of the mirrors, and hit EA in the back. EA is starting to smoke from the ears*

[George, reaching the top of the tree, will find a strange device that looks like the bomb from Starship Titanic, only made out of wood]

*EA stands up and looks around, confused. He can't seem to see Affy anywhere. In fact, he can't see anything*

EA-Oh. The black reagent from Journey, I presume?

*Instead of a response, EA is hit by an amazing burst of energy from behind. In a new shockwave of energy, an explosion issues from EA, sending a tidal wave through the Time Tunnel. With a shaking ground, the last things that remain are a jewel case (containing a CD), and an extremely small, extremely dim glowing sphere. Affy picks up the jewel case and pockets it*