h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Or, to solve getting anagram-tongue-twisted, the Benterprise.?

LOL...I think that's as good as anything.

*pweesh*

How about "Rosinante", after Don Quixote's horse, and the spaceship in Rush's "Cygnus X-1"?

(Or even just Cygnus X-1)

Or even just Cygnus (the swan).

*pweesh*

Al's going to have a hard time choosing a name...

So I guess "Shape" is out of the running, eh? Well, how about "Saviour", since that is it's mission. Although I do kinda like BB's Benterprise ...

*pweesh*
*rolls eyes.*
Look, if we can't decide on a name for the ship, what hope have we against the hordes of HSs? Why don't we call the ship "The Ship Formerly Known as Shape" until we finally decide?
*unrolls eyes*
We need a firm hand (but that another story). Let the Captain's word be final.
Oh, and by the way....

*send incoming message to speakers*

AND NOW THE SHIPPING FORECAST ISSUED BY THE MET. OFFICE AT 1725 ON TUESDAY 07 MARCH 2000

THERE ARE WARNINGS OF GALES IN FORTIES CROMARTY FORTH GERMAN BIGHT
SHANNON ROCKALL MALIN HEBRIDES BAILEY FAIR ISLE FAEROES SOUTHEAST ICELAND

THE GENERAL SYNOPSIS AT MIDDAY
HIGH BISCAY 1032 SLOW MOVING WITH LITTLE CHANGE. ATLANTIC LOW MOVING RATHER QUICKLY NORTHEAST EXPECTED FAEROES 985 BY MIDDAY TOMORROW

THE AREA FORECASTS FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS

VIKING NORTH UTSIRE SOUTH UTSIRE
NORTHWEST BACKING SOUTH 4 INCREASING 6, LATER VEERING WEST 7, PERHAPS GALE 8. RAIN AT TIMES. GOOD BECOMING MODERATE

FORTIES
NORTHWESTERLY 4 BACKING SOUTHWESTERLY 6 TO GALE 8. OCCASIONAL RAIN. MODERATE OR GOOD

CROMARTY
VARIABLE 3 BECOMING SOUTHWESTERLY 6 TO GALE 8. OCCASIONAL RAIN. MODERATE

FORTH
SOUTHWESTERLY 5 INCREASING 6 TO GALE 8. OCCASIONAL DRIZZLE. MODERATE OR GOOD

TYNE DOGGER
SOUTHWESTERLY 5 OR 6 INCREASING 7, PERHAPS GALE 8 LATER. OCCASIONAL RAIN. MODERATE OR GOOD

FISHER
NORTHWEST 5 BACKING WEST 6 OR 7. OCCASIONAL RAIN. GOOD BECOMING MODERATE

GERMAN BIGHT
SOUTHWESTERLY 6 TO GALE 8 DECREASING 4 FOR A TIME. OCCASIONAL RAIN. MODERATE

HUMBER THAMES DOVER
SOUTHWESTERLY 5 OR 6, OCCASIONALLY 7. OCCASIONAL DRIZZLE. MODERATE OR GOOD

WIGHT PORTLAND PLYMOUTH
SOUTHWESTERLY 4 OR 5, OCCASIONALLY 6. OCCASIONAL DRIZZLE. MODERATE OR POOR

BISCAY
VARIABLE 3. FAIR. MODERATE OR GOOD

FINISTERRE
VARIABLE 3 OR 4. MAINLY FAIR. MODERATE

SOLE
SOUTHWESTERLY 4 OR 5. OCCASIONAL DRIZZLE. MODERATE WITH FOG PATCHES

LUNDY FASTNET
SOUTHWESTERLY 4 OR 5, OCCASIONALLY 6. OCCASIONAL DRIZZLE. MODERATE OR POOR

IRISH SEA
SOUTHWESTERLY 5 OR 6, OCCASIONALLY 7, PERHAPS GALE 8 LATER. OCCASIONAL RAIN. MODERATE OR POOR

SHANNON
SOUTHWESTERLY 6 TO GALE 8. OCCASIONAL RAIN. MODERATE WITH FOG PATCHES

ROCKALL
SOUTHWESTERLY 7 TO SEVERE GALE 9. OCCASIONAL RAIN. MODERATE OR POOR

MALIN
SOUTHWESTERLY 5 INCREASING 6 TO GALE 8. RAIN AT TIMES. MODERATE OCCASIONALLY POOR

HEBRIDES BAILEY
SOUTHWESTERLY 7 TO SEVERE GALE 9. RAIN AT TIMES. MODERATE OR POOR

FAIR ISLE
SOUTHEASTERLY 3 INCREASING 6, VEERING SOUTHWESTERLY 7 OR GALE 8. RAIN AT TIMES. GOOD BECOMING MODERATE OR POOR

FAEROES
SOUTHEASTERLY 7 TO SEVERE GALE 9, VEERING SOUTHWESTERLY IN SOUTH. RAIN AT TIMES. MODERATE OR POOR

SOUTHEAST ICELAND
EAST BACKING NORTHEAST 7 TO SEVERE GALE 9. RAIN AT TIMES. MODERATE OR GOOD. MODERATE ICING

I do wish they wouldn't shout.

*Stumbles in from medical bay, fully recovered*

We could call it, "The-Bean-With-Bacon-MegaRocket". Although, that's already taken. How about . . . Starship Hiker? (Serial Number is, of course, 42).

Hiya, ya bunch of happy-go-crazy galaxy saving kinda people!

I'm, well, you can read who I am, and I'd like to come with you.
I come from the planet, and I am a klingklong! K'plagh! You know, those worrior type people with a face like a Mars bar, always bad tempered? Yup, that's me. I am very good at Tack Tickle, because tickling people with tacks is one of the very mean torture methods of my people haha haho. So can we all go save things together huh huh can we huh?

Hi! You'll need to go to sickbay for a medical. If you fail that, you're in!

Actually, it's fun. You get to take your top off, lie on your back and pump shoeboxes in ti the wall with your feet for about an hour. It doesn't so much test your fitness define your embarassment threshold. But you do get a nice "Bomp...Bomp..." noise, and a small pulsing red light, floaty pointers and things. I hear they are going to add a steering wheel and a squeeky hooter.

Then BluesSlider, our Security Officer will need to do full body search. He's very thorough. (BS, did your wrist-watch ever turn up?)

Then we swear you in. At this point things get interesting, as you get issued with your uniform. You look like a 44L, dressing left. Am I right?

Oh, and I'm sure the MO will waive the minimum height restriction, so no worries there.

*From sickbay*
What minimum height restriction would that be then?

It was 2cm when a previous crew on a previous mission got shrunk. I'm not sure if that has been countermanded yet or not.

I hope El Presidente's lack of millimeters won't be counted against him. We are an equal opportunity team, are we not?
*Pulls out banner from under comms console.*
He's Short, but he's Sufficiently Dangerous - Let El Pres Go Boldly
*Joolsee puts on a 'Small Aliens Need Love Too' T-Shirt.*

*pweesh*

Ah, my valiant crew. I thought I heard singing earlier... must have imagined it.

And another two crewmembers!

Welcome, Bluebottle, you've turned up just in time. We really need a pilot for this ship because frankly myself and Eomando are both rubbish at it.

*indicates large comfy chair for BB*

And El Pres (Do you mind if I call you El Pres?), you can be our first chartered crewmember. Now report for that medical, and see if Joolsee's well enough to come back on duty yet.

As to the name of the ship... I quite like the "Esirprente"... it sounds Spanish but if people actually look at it then it makes more sense

*relieves E from Conn*

Bluebottle, take us out.

*dramatic stirring music. that's dramatic music which stirs people, btw, not dramatic music for stirring tea to or anything. Esirprente takes off and heads into wide black yonder*

Good work, crew. Right, I have a lunch appointment with an ambassador from my French course. Back in a few hours.

You have the conn, E.

*pweesh*

A bottle of Dom Perignon 1957 floats through space towards the brow of the Esirpretne. Ready for BB to engage impulse engines.

It smashes majestically yet silently.

Oh goody! I could just throw my sacred battleaxe right into that bulkhead with glee. First I'll mosey on over to Sickbay and get sick... and you can call me El presidente if you want, but simply prez is okay too.

Welcomen in Esirprente mine Prez!
Captain!
*Clicks heels and thumbs nose respectfully*
Reporting for duty after unfortunate unconscious and vomiting episode.
Wow, we're moving!
*Sits down. Goes a bit green. Takes pill. Goes back to normal.*
All hailing frequancies open Captain. All of them!

Remember to take two of those pills treee times a day.

Prez, the sickbay is ready for your medical now.