Also a SPORKITE, but can't find insignia/badge and there is one about.

I have seen it on someones p/space, but can't remember where.

H2G2 Totally and Utterly Approved Guide

Marvellous what you can come up with, when you cross n' Idiot's DNA with Pasta

{to all believers who enter here YES! There is a Sanity Clause} {{{}}} Dasher,Dancer,Prancer,Vixen,Comet,Cupid,Donner,Blitzen and Rudolf the red nose reindeer - OK! so they all have red noses, but Rudolf is in a identification line-up for drunk and disorderly!

ALL WAYS WANTED ME NAME UP IN LIGHTS, NOW THERE'S NO ROOM FOR IT....ALL WAYS WANTED ME NAME UP IN LIGHTS, NOW THERE'S NO ROOM FOR IT....

This is what it said mine was (brackets are my added comments)
You are a spiritual soul - a person who tries to find meaning in everything.(usualy do,even though it can hurt someone, by telling the truth) You spend a good amount of time meditating, trying to figure out life.(just experience) Helping others is also important to you.(I get pleasure in giving) You enjoy social activities with that goal.(R.A.O.B. Buffalo's) You are very generous and giving. Yet you expect very little in return.(expect nothing in return) Your strength: Getting along with anyone and everyone(very true) Your weakness: Needing a good amount of downtime to recharge(never run down) Your power color: Cobalt blue(favourite colour-Deep Purple) Your power symbol: Dove(all animal life) Your power month: September(all 12 are power months)

My taste in music is heavy rock I.E. Led Zeppelin/Deep Purple and Yes/ Black Sabbath/Pink Floyd/Blue Oyster Cult/Bachman Turner Overdrive, to name a few.
Not had any wheels, bike/car for years, but still a biker at heart and continue wearing leather jackets/denim/tee shirts . Don't have a suit what so ever and don't intend to either

Click the Assassins badge for entry page...

The H2G2 Assassin's guild.......No195 nil mortifi sine lucure

You could die laughing or with a score of 180

I have a warped sense of humour - 24/7 - NO off switch, anything daft, can't be serious for long spells. I had a bad start in life, I've got a split personality and we're both stupid . Plus we have a non-contagious side-effect, paranoia schizophrenia:- we have a feeling we are following ourselves...........Because as far as I know, there is no other (mentality wise)relative like me in any part of my family on any side. I have come to the conclusion:- that somewhere in the past an ancestor of mine, must have been a court jester to someone of noble birth. DNA. You can't live without it........

........I'm also a member of the S.A.S.= Single and Stupid, I was in M.A.S.S.= Married and Still Stupid. But after IT! went and divorce, I'm back to S.A.S. and H.A.P.P.Y.err! just plain happy.

Enjoy the odd tipple, out with friends or in home. Whisky - Vodka - Southern Comfort.......Don't drink a lot, but house keeps moving and I only bleed 1/6th of a gill if I get cut.

I have the greatest respect for everyone on this planet for their own PEACEFUL religious beliefs and faiths, but I myself am a Aethiest, I do not believe in any god/creator..I do not push my non belief on to others - therefore I do not want others to push their's onto me........(Atheism is a non-prophet organisation)

I can't believe in reincarnation - with my luck, I'd come back as myself

I don't want to be mega rich, I WISH for a little and I get "nothing"..I WISH for "nothing" and it comes trueThat's life,but still enjoy it

When I get a little to err! carried way. My real life Friend and Mentor on hootoo, chucks cushions at me(filled with concrete),as you can see. But! this time they have missed.

Friday 10th Feb 2006 a suprize attack real life visit from lil ol' me.. ACE [Dea Ex Machina]... includingVicki Virago. ACE. *unsubbing from irritating convos*......This makes the Trilogy complete....100% PURE Having met virtuouschuffed - I.M.M.A.C.O.R - Co Founding Member..On a previous visit.(click their name for their P/S)

ANIMAL-THINKISM the Trilogy, part 17,episode 6,sub section 9, paragraph 12- The Road East is a long journey,if you head West first

With my full name, over the years,I got various nicknames, but non stuck. All my mates had them, not me(aw..bigger...AW)When the Muppets came on TV, a workmate said that I looked like that Animal on telly, Lo and behold it stuck, from then on 99.99% of people who know me, call me ANIMAL, so it's not a nickname,its another christian name.I also have Animal wielding an axe tattoed on my left arm, if I ever get amnesia, I can look at it and say I don't know who I am, but I must be bloody great.I put my real name into Google and in 4 seconds, it came up with 2,460,000 sites and thats only on the web. A lot of people with my name, BUT! there is only 1 Prof Animal Chaos. I tried to get it(ANIMAL that is) put on the marriage license, but the woman registrar said it could cause problems on future documents, in the same breath, she said, but for an extra �40, we can put it on a special license. My reply,was, oh for �17 you can't - but �57 you can - forget it.I even tried one time, to be entered into the "Guinness Book of Records" as Animal the world's most modest Superstar, their loss Basiclly, what you see, is what you get, NO airs or graces and in this day and age, I'm still honest and loyal..to family and friends.....That's about it, apart from that I might be poor, but I'm rich in friends and that counts far more than money......

THE PROF CHAOS came about in the early 1970�s, a friend and I were starting to put together a comedy magic illusion act, hopefully for the club circuit, to be named Doctor Mayhem and Professor Chaos, he was to be the straight man and I ! What else, but the fool! At the time, he was courting and they married, so the act didn�t get off the ground. But as you can see, the Prof lives on!.

Thinks I'll go see a doctor, I've been off colour of late. I feel a little low spirited!

My luck is that bad, if I went to Hell! for a fortnight's holiday, I'd come back without a TAN!!

If all else fails and you've struck out,be a mad romantic and say it with flowers...BUY HER A TRIFFID

Confucius once said(I think)A journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step. What is the journey of the Animal, it has downs, it has ups, questions, but no answers. But a task to be done enroute, to bring Smiles to all he meets. How long the journey, is irrelevant, for smiles take president and the answers will appear when the time is right and the end becomes the begining, to complete the full circle.

Friendship is the glue of the world and here on hootoo, I've found a lot of superglue.

My Bonnie lies over the water! My Bonnie lies over the sea! GLUG! GLUG! GLUG! Stupid woman, she can't swim

This is a black box with writing going across it.

Q=How do you stop a monkey, climbing Blackpool Tower ?
A=Take it to Scarborough

"The 3 shells" Now which one is the PEA under ?

Your still reading!Don't say you weren't warned

I'm so cool , chilled out and laid back..I walk horizontaly

Hay nother Notice Board

Life might suck! but the alternative is not wanted and is TOTALLY unacceptable. Believe what ever you want to believe, trust what ever you want to trust, love whom so ever you want to love, but never stop believing yourself, trusting yourself, or loving yourself. You are a human being; you have a right to be here.

whilst my good friend Dr Anthea-ACE-Artist(Falice Enlen)(Alicia Brmyn)A1123372 is at UCLAN, I will take care of the turnips, they will be fed only the best whitewash.They have up to date rearing pens, with hot and cold running water/central heating(thermostatically controlled)digital radio, for heavy rock music and dimmer switch lighting (do not ask for explanations, you'll have to speak to Dr Anthea)

Don't blame me...I was wearing gloves





To boldly go, where no ANIMAL has gone before - Stardate 37 shillings, 5 washers and a bit of chewing gum,6 penneth of chips an half a sucked gobstopper,1 box of used matches, a piece of string and a used bus ticket, 3 glass marbles.Born, Hatched, dug up, or created NONE dare appear within my presense, evil spirits haven't the bottle to take me on.

I was born(open to debate), with a curvature of the spine, or as some might say mmmmm face rings a bell. I had two choices in life, curl up in a corner and hide , or be me.As a kid, I got all the insults under the sun, the humour was a defence. But from the ashes rose the Phoenix , the humour became me and not a defence(or gate). When the Muppets Show hit TV, I was given the nickname ANIMAL by friends (seen him, you'd know why). I was a born again Idiot. I used ME as the joke . If I can't laugh at myself , then I have no right to laugh at anyone else.

If you tell a joke to someone in a wheelchair, about someone in a wheelchair, if its funny they will laugh.

TOO MANY people, think that if a person looks funny or talks funny, then they be backwards/mentaly subnormal....WRONG look at Prof Stephen Hawkins...WE are NORMAL inside (except me of course).

Now! if I had not put any writing in here. You would be saying "Why has he put an empty box here ??

HOW TO:- rite hin gyde em hell, furstli y'who got 2 no ow too right propurlie ahnd spel has whell, hits agud hideer to ave a dikshionhairy andy 2 elp,cos udderwize peepl whil knot bee haybul too reed wot yu rite. hit olso elps 2 hav add a gud hedukatshun,,,then thay dount fink yuoar fick, hi my selff has ghot 9 'O, levhells, all nought out of undred, sow hiam brainie az welll.Yuh kan sea my skhills hat riting, eye alwhays wantted two bee a brain sureghen oar an heditor,must bee ha job hoppening sumwhare four mee. Me musht bee klevher co's hive werked hout that hiam the 'last wun two post ere' thairfour eye whin...

As usual!Stand about for hours, wait all day and 3 turn up at once, typical...

On no account should you press here!!YOU!! Had to be nosey! didn't YOU!!YOU had to see if I'd put anything in,well I have and its aBIG "NAH-NAH" and "EVIL GRIN"what a NOSEY PARKER!! you are

I just love women..Only I can't wim, only paddle.My medal for womening

I have done 4 parachute jumps, the 1st was for charity.side draft Most jumpers have two chutes, Ha! I took my own,the only problem is,that it only opens on impact .PS.that is not me...I was close to splatting the ground.see journal entry(press here)

{ The h2g2 Monty Python Fan (Pythonist) Society}
Here be a link(above)that ye press if thou wanteth to join the Monty Python Society---and answer these questions three--What is your name--What is your favourite colour and What is the wing speed of the swallow

Suicide is for life,NOT just for Christmas. Me.Nah. would never contemplate it. TOO NOSEY, might miss something.

Question.If I could be anyone, who would I be-Answer:-its easy, ME(but physically normal preferred) , I do not hate or get jealous of anyone, I've no greed, I can converse at any level, young to elder on most subjects. I AM at peace with myself(more or less), what more can a Animal ask.

My aim in life is to get people to smile,I will do what ever it takes and if I have to be a idiot to do it, then so be it. I WOULD BAN FROWNING FROM ALL PUBLIC PLACES.....

My thanks to Captain Khamsin and his automatic 42-ism calculator, my 42-ism is:-10+4-6+17*2=42.

Always wondered why my head hurts, now I know,its with thinking

PS.This took over various minutes of my serious side,I now need a couple of big s like this nice cool Vodka or a smooth single malt

JUST IN CASE, of alien visitations,I armed with lasers and photon torpedo's I'm also a SCI-FI nut -all Star Trek's (Me transmitte sursum, caledoni) - Stargate SG1 and Atlantis. Babylon 5. Red Dwarf(Smeg!). Andromeda. Firefly(even though they only made 14 episodes){except the "new" Enterprise series} - plus most SCI-FI programs and films, oldies and new ones

Universe adapted from Avenging Washcloth's P/Space

........ The answer is out there!!

The answers could be deep within your dreams,so let your imagination out for an airing and behold the visions, that are out of the reach of reality.



Abnormal service will be resumed as soon as possible, but don't bank on it.The straight jacket isn't working loose yet
Its great to be y, try it BE DAFT,CO'S IF IT FEELS GOOD,DO IT
My Nonsense song. Fish swim the mountains Camels walk the sky Pigs climb up custard tree's this I wonder why ? sing a song of nonsense never mind the verse sing a song of nonsense just smell those lovely words Tree's play chess with Pigeons while dominoes make mud pies some Ants will play the tuba this I wonder why? chorus! A turnips made a great big dam an ocean learns to fly Caterpillars can drive a bus this I wonder why? chorus! I don't know why I'm singing this some chimneys start to cry I'm on my way to a loonie bin this I wonder why? chorus!

And if you have noticed the NOTICE in 'my journal', please don't bring it to my notice, but by all means bring it to notice of others in case they haven't noticed the notice, that you indeed have noticed.So you would be doing a service, informing them of the notice,but I noticed the notice as I was writing the notice.I also bring to your notice, that there is now a notice II to notice, which is unlike the first notice you noticed. Unless, you noticed notice II firstThanks
see the NOTICE (press here)
see NOTICE II(press here)
see Notice, it ain't got a name yet!(press here)
see the Advanced Notification of a sorts (press here)

SO THE MEN IN WHITE COATS HAVEN'T CAUGHT ME YETARE WE INTERESTED - NO WAY

Please meet my braincell, he is lonely and looking for a mate, he wants to start a family and populate the vacant space inside my head,he has 9 'O' levels--all nought out of hundred. He has been to university,13 yr course in a sample jar.Used to have a part-time job,as a Full Stop. any female braincell wishing to apply, must have a degree in stupidity, a clever one would not work, the DNA would not be compatable and she must be a good looker, he has taste you know....

Above all,stand straight and be proud of who and what you are. Your outside colour means nothing- YOUR BLOOD IS STILL RED. LIVE IN PEACE
Give a THOUGHT for those in the world, who are NOT allowed to have THOUGHTS of their own.

Well! I've been sat in this tank for years and it still doesn't work,haven't come up with one idea, can't think of a thing!!.Apart from the water has gone cold.

Knock! Knock! Who's there ? Ella! Ella who ? Hell another mosquito!

If you start gibberingDon't blame me, you carried on reading.

Just in case your bored and got nothing to do for a week or so, these are some of my journal entries.(click on them to go there)
Extreme headbanging-Prof style
Insight into Animalthinkism
Sometime BC
A Case for Inspector Gasgonnoff Isnoton(A Mystery to baffle the greatest minds)
Dungeon Sentence for the Prof

The Untouchables were a special part of the police force in America at the time of the prohibition, they were led by agent Elephant Ness and the top bad guy was a gangster called Al Caprawn, lots of shooting with tommy guns and car chases.....NO disrespect to Americans.

I'm not here! right!, the men in white coats, you haven't seen me for weeks, in fact you don't know me,it was my twin( the money/bribe is in the post..)

Some thoughts of Chairman Animal.:- Life is but a mere rut, in which from birth to death you strive to get out of... Life is the stepping stone between the diamentions of time... Why does the thought of living, destroy life.Yet the thought of dying makes one strive to live... In the interest of humanity, in the thirst for knowledge, to the depths of jealousy and greed. Man has to kill, then when the time of dying appears, why does he struggle... The language of life is hereditory, yet countless millions are born unable to speak it... Peace is an illusion-Chaos is reality... I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant...

I have been granted by the KEEPER of the KEEPERS, (who, is this dear lady!)
Emmily ~ Who says nothing is impossible? I�ve been doing nothing for years
AND therefore by royal decreethe post of:- KEEPER of THE NOTICE and WORDS THAT DO NOT EXIST
A post that I will HONOUR and hold him and cuddle him and squeeze him and love him and call him GEORGE.(Nah! that's a Bugs Bunny saying)

Don't mind me, just passing through.

Life on this planet is nearly always on a downer, read the newspapers- bad news, television news programs, usualy bad news. Bad news makes money, very little good news gets coverage. So my brain (which is out of my control) thinks in a lateral state..I just can not help but see fun-humour in everything. Bad is no good to me or anyone, I do not have the powers to change that. But I have the power within me, to bring a SMILE and a bit of cheer to people. There by, one small dot on this planet will always be in happy mode, visit anytime......

now back way my on just,look a had(in reverse)

------------------------------Go on, pick a card, any card but don't show me. Now put it back in the pack and shuffle and the card you picked IS THE---------------------------------------------------------I'm not that good yet

A great man once said:- wing long yammbo phutt grouble yonk narg narg fishle sog yik yik slurge gedge. He was drunk at the time...

House trained fishies-don't need a tank.

SPORKITE'S RULE OK!!
pie and chips. A in the road. Don'tuntil youren to. scratchings. Don't with your mouth full lightning kills. Don't mutterclearly. White man speak with ed tongue. Roastand apple sauce. and Mindy -U/S TV program. Na Noo Na Noo. You can wipe that sillyoff your face mi lad. Tell me love, CAN you tellfrom butter. Dynasty and southU/S TV programs. There's no without fire. Is that pure Vulcan logic Mr . Roast beef and shire pudding. eye and Trapper John. M.A.S.H. Careful, you'llsomebodies eye out with that. Sparrow. Bird of prey. upine. An animal with sharp spines. Garden rake,pitchand trowel AA,my kingdom for a..Richard the Third. Bugs Bunny,Daffy Duck and y the pig. May the be with you Luke.Star Wars Throwing Sporks:

right back "to me this minute"...Everly Brothers These boots were made foring and that's just what they'll do...Nancy Sinatra ing back to happiness, wumpah oh yeah ye yeah....Helen Shapiro on,on, with hope in your heart and you'll never alone...Gerry and the Pacemakers on by..Dionne Warwick OK!COME ON YOU must have heard of:-Starfish-Dogfish-Angelfish-Catfish-Sea Horse-Devil fish/Manta Ray.

Err! can't do a Dances with Wolves(I could! but it wouldn't look the same)

A Notice Board

Some people are sick-as in poorly....... Some people are sick-as in mental illness....... Its those who are mentally sick-as in sad lives and need to inflict on others, I feel sorry for! Verb:inflict 1. impose something unpleasant.

Hootoo folk I've met in real life..click on their name for their Personal Space Jimcracker. Pheloxi.(A Gentleman who I shall miss most dearly)-R.I.P.MY FRIEND - 19/04/2009 T.B.Falsename.(Another Gentleman who I shall miss most dearly)-R.I.P.MY FRIEND - 16/09/2009 Littlemightyblue 2. Galaxy Babe ST...Pussycat Scorpio_Witch Mazinmadfiddler Moonhogg + Kitty + Cheeky Monkey + Gina(Hoggy's good lady wife) Tabitca Gnomon Wand'rin Star Jollywinegums Matodemi Gandalfstwin-R.I.P.MY FRIEND

T.B. Falsename's (P/S)(seated left)and Pheloxi's(P/S)(seated right)






zendevil Terri

GRAVITY..The question is, did the apple fall or was it pushed, this has never been brought to task, the search for an answer remains a mystery, due to lack of eye witnesses, plus there's a good chance that their now dead anyway.

I am not-GIBBER- a mad crazy escaped-GIBBER- mental loony. I'm just a little unwell,my Psychiatrist says I'm getting better, but I have reason to doubt him,GIBBER because he's seeing a psychiatrist now.

TO ALL THE LADIES WHO READ MY SPACE, I PRESENT A...ROSE.

Somebody had to do a moon, might as well be me.

its not all toilet humourBUT! 99.9% is though

In the world of Prof Animal Chaos nothing is planned, it appears out of the blue, the spur of the moment and the resounding call goes out...oh no, what stupid thing has he come up with this time. This reputation took years to get, it will not be given up lightly.

Being super modest,I'm sometimes amazed at my own genius, but I don't let it get to me, I'm on a higher plain than that

And if one green bottle should accidently fall, there'll be no green bottles and no ruddy wall, I USED AN HOWITZER

MAD COW disease and BIRD FLU don't talk rubbish,I'm a fruit bat and so am I and he is as well and STOP SNEEZING.

GEORGE, you big overgrown stupid Gecko, I told you we should have taken the lift, look how far we've to climb now.

Dare to PRESS this one!!"MANIACLE LAUGHING" !!STILL Noesy eh!!If I had �1 per pressNow! Dare you use the CODE!!CODE = "1 TFAD"to let us know you pressed

Keep an eye on the planet, because these conditions will return, faster than you think

Where ever you go in the world,have a safe journey, a good time and be a Ambassador for Peace.

In theof Prof Animal Chaos, nothing is what it seems,EVEN TO ME..

Well here it is the OFFICIALsadness and depression DUMP IT box..These words and their associates now no longer existSO, off load them into the box and don't ask for them back, because once in there, they are TERMINATED for good..

Regular upgrades always in progress.usualy daft ones . Remember SMILES look better than frowns and I've a barrow load to give-a-way and their free, please take one and be happy

Gu'day Bruce

It isn't only George that's stupid, is it Walter,you lame brain.look at the start you've given them.

Well I hope you have enjoyed your trip down hereand you are always welcome to return to the Weird World of the ANIMAL.

They're coming to take me away,Ha-haaaRemember when you ran awayand I got on my kneesand begged you not to leavebecause I'd go berserkWell...You left me anyhowand then the days got worse and worseand now you see I've goneand...They're coming to take me away Ha HaThey're coming to take me away Ho Hoto the funny farmwhere life is beautiful all the timeand I'll be happy to seethose nice young menin their clean white coatsand they're coming to take me away Ha-haaaYou thought it was a jokeand so you laughedyou laughed when I had saidthat losing you would make me flip my lidRight...You know you laughed,I heard you laughyou laughed, you laughed and laughedand then you leftBut now you know I'm utterly madand...They're coming to take me away Ha HaThey're coming to take me away Ho Hoto the happy homewith trees and flowers and chirping birdsand basket weavers who sit and smileand twiddle their thumbs and toesand they're coming to take me away Ha-haaaI cooked your foodI cleanned your houseand this is how you pay me backfor all my kind,unselfish loving deedsHah...Well you just waitthey'll find you yetand when they do they'llput you in the *SPCA, you mangy muttand...They're coming to take me away Ha HaThey're coming to take me away Ho Hoto the funny farmwhere life is beautiful all the timeand I'll be happy to seethose nice young menin their clean white coatsand they're coming to take me away Ha-haaa

Well, my friend! have you come to a final conclusion, because I'm in no doubt...... I'm as nutty as a fruit cake...........

CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT !!The human trait is :-that I have to see whatis behind that doorit might be nothing! BUT!"I Must know at all costs"The "ANIMAL" says Thank youI hope you have enjoyedyour visit, call again.

Personal Space overflow and Me in real life is here (press here)

4				7			5
2			6			1
	8			1	4	7		3
8		5		6			7
								5
7		2		3		6
		1		4			3
9			8					1
	2	8		5	6		9
_	_	_	_	_	_	_	_	_

Numbers = how many mucky have been left on the tiles





BET yah did Panic!

Latest Messages

Sign in to leave a message

Messages left for this Researcher	Posted
Cake in the Post	8 Hours Ago
Sportsman's	Yesterday
PA to Yorkshire	Yesterday
Hullo dear Prof	May 13, 2024
Saw this, thought of you	May 10, 2024

See all Latest Messages

Conversations

Conversation Title	Latest Post	Latest Reply
Cake in the Post	2 Days Ago	8 Hours Ago
rex is not up to par today	Yesterday	9 Hours Ago
A Pun in the oven, or no Pun intended	Yesterday	Yesterday
Sportsman's	Yesterday	Yesterday
PA to Yorkshire	Yesterday	Yesterday

See all Conversations

Subscriptions

Title	Status	Created
This user has no Entry subscriptions

See all Subscriptions

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

Researcher U1046172

Entries

Most Recent Edited Entries

• This user has not written any Edited Entries.

See all Edited Entries

Entries

• A Murder Most Duck, Goose, Turkey, Including
• Video: Sing a Song of Nonsense
• Conspiracy
• Alien Logic
• A Change in Expectations: A Professor Animal

See all Entries

Disclaimer

h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of Not Panicking Ltd. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more

Friends

• U14993127
• aka Bel - A87832164
• 8584330
• abbi normal "Putting on the Ritz" with Dr Frankenstein
• Andy

See all Friends

Followers

• aka Bel - A87832164
• 2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side...
• abbi normal "Putting on the Ritz" with Dr Frankenstein
• Anabel
• Andy

See all Followers

Bookmarks

This user has no Bookmarks

See all Bookmarks

Help

• About
• How to Contribute
• FAQs
• Soapbox

About Us

Contact Us

• Feedback

Follow Us

• Facebook
• Twitter

Statistics

• Information
• Month
• Solo Entries
• Coming Up

Other Stuff

• Who's Online