h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How do you roast a chicken ???



Shout and scold at it in a loud voice

Ok! It's only Monday evening and just thought up..

"Chicken a la Carte"

Not much chance of seeing that in the Olympics ? Skateboarding etc as only entered that recently in the last few years

"very" old joke from a time I can't remember

Why did the chicken cross the road ?

Because it was stapled to the punk

so called punk rock era

Got to put another (and just thought up )

How does a chicken win a fortune on a national lottery ?

By having loads of "good cluck"

OK! But I've told worse jokes

You have.

I have the mental trauma to prove it.

I've learnt through lifeI might not achieve greatness in many ways! "tough"

BUT! I also learnt that bringing SMILES! by "being an idiot etc" "

Is it's own reward!

Nonsense is, indeed, its own reward.

Oh eck! Just thought up (and )

A chicken free-fall parachutist jumps off the Empire State building and shouts "clucking hell" as his parachute fails to open!

Why did the chicken cross the road according to Star Wars characters

Yoda: Crossing the road makes not a chicken great.
Lord Vader: Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side.
Luke: Crossing the road is one thing, this is.... totally different.
Luke: I want to follow the ways of the chicken and cross the road like my father.
Leia: I don't know... but I have a bad feeling about this.
Han: Hurry up, colonel sanders, or you're gonna be a permanent resident!
C3PO: I am fluent in over six million ways of crossing the road.
R2: beep beep be bop.
Chewie: Gwrrroooooaaaarrrrrrlllllll!
Obi Wan Kenobi: Cross the road, chicken. Let go, chicken. Chicken - trust me.
Boba Fett: What if the chicken doesn't survive? He's worth a lot to me!

The chicken said! "How do you roast a chicken ???"

THEN build me a decent chicken ROOST!!!

You've spelt it wrong!!!

Rent Le Beau aka Gambit is obsessed with cooking Cajun chicken and is always asking Professor Charles Xavier, why did the Cajun chicken cross the road but Professor Xavier can only give his answers telepathically.

Gambit aka Remy Le Beau is obsessed with cooking and eating Cajun chicken. He also keeps on asking Professor Charles Xavier why did the Cajun chicken cross the road, but Professor Xavier answers Gambit telephathically.

Sorry Prof for the repeated post as the first post did not appear. I am now logged onto my IPad and not my laptop.

No apology needed sweetheart!

a chicken got into heaven buy "curry"ing favour

another some Vindaloo's some Vindaloo'win

Hotdogs with lots of fried onions with tomato ketchup and mustard placed inside a sweet potato bun

A chicken entered a quiz contest and when asked it's the first question, it replied:- Cluck knows ?

It was disqualified for bad language....

Might get "yiked" ???
Tough!!

A chicken ran in the London marathon!

It was disqualified because it fell fowl! of the judges entry qualifications